And so ends another chapter in my life... or not.
I had a long talk with Ducky the other night. He came over to show me something, and we wound up talking for a good 2 or 3 hours about everything on our minds. It really helped me sort stuff out in my head and it's nice to know that sometimes people feel the same way you do, even though you don't think anyone can relate to your 'unique' problem. We talked about how life isn't like TV, which is something I'm learning to overcome. I have this thing where I always compare life to stuff that happens in TV and movies - namely the happy ending bullshit. Even though I can tell myself that certain things just won't ever happen, my naive heart insists that they will, and I find myself upset when things don't get happy when they normally would if my life was anything like TV. Ducky and I also decided that life is one whole experience, not a single episode. On a TV show, there is usually a conflict, and then a solution, usually accompanied with that dammed happy ending. Then next week there is a new conflict or whatnot, which is usually totally oblivious to the previous week's events. Now in real life, when you have an experience or conflict, it is always a part of your life, no matter how final you think things may be. You always bump into that ex girlfriend a few years later on the street and then are faced with awkward conversation. While fighting with you parents, they always happen to mention all the times you happened to screw up before, in order to help their side of the argument. The past will always haunt you, sometimes not always in a bad way, but nevertheless... Anyway, life can more closely be compared to a book, with chapters. Try reading a book for the first time, but leave out chapters 2, 7 and 8, 12, and 18 and 19. Does it make sense? Probably not. The book usually refers to previous events and people, and without those chapters, the reader is left confused. When your finished reading a book (A whole book) it's like getting a whole experience - complete, solid, conclusive - not just a tiny piece of one.
You may be asking where I'm going with all this, and it might not make much sense seeing as it's almost 5am, but I get it. Kinda. Anyway, since I'm leaving Stevens on Sunday, I guess you can say I'm ending the Stevens chapter in my life. Of course it will be mentioned throughout my life, with me visiting, and having to explain what happened while I was here for a year and a half, etc. But it'll always be a part of my life. Be it good or bad. I'm really going to miss everyone. Coming to this school was a real turning point in my life for many reasons, and since I've been here I've changed so much, in so many ways and on so many levels. It's nuts!
Have you ever listened to Dashboard Confessional? If you're ever really depressed and your like me and like to listen to sad stuff when your sad, you should really listen to him. The stuff this guy sings about is the exact stuff that goes through my head all the time, and it's exacly how I feel. Amazing. Such emotional stuff. I get all emotional when I listen to Tool, but with them it's different. That's the music. Dashboard is all about the words and the feelings envoked with those words. Makes me cry. A lot.
I finished studying for my History of Science final a few hours ago. I pretty much skimmed through the entire book, reading a whole lot. I really learned a shitload in that class, and if you haven't yet, you should take that class with Prof. McClellan. The guy wrote the book, and he knows what he's talking about. The lectures are great, and I learned sooo much about the topic. I'm gonna kick that tests ass tomorrow. I mean, in 3 hours.
You may be asking where I'm going with all this, and it might not make much sense seeing as it's almost 5am, but I get it. Kinda. Anyway, since I'm leaving Stevens on Sunday, I guess you can say I'm ending the Stevens chapter in my life. Of course it will be mentioned throughout my life, with me visiting, and having to explain what happened while I was here for a year and a half, etc. But it'll always be a part of my life. Be it good or bad. I'm really going to miss everyone. Coming to this school was a real turning point in my life for many reasons, and since I've been here I've changed so much, in so many ways and on so many levels. It's nuts!
Have you ever listened to Dashboard Confessional? If you're ever really depressed and your like me and like to listen to sad stuff when your sad, you should really listen to him. The stuff this guy sings about is the exact stuff that goes through my head all the time, and it's exacly how I feel. Amazing. Such emotional stuff. I get all emotional when I listen to Tool, but with them it's different. That's the music. Dashboard is all about the words and the feelings envoked with those words. Makes me cry. A lot.
I finished studying for my History of Science final a few hours ago. I pretty much skimmed through the entire book, reading a whole lot. I really learned a shitload in that class, and if you haven't yet, you should take that class with Prof. McClellan. The guy wrote the book, and he knows what he's talking about. The lectures are great, and I learned sooo much about the topic. I'm gonna kick that tests ass tomorrow. I mean, in 3 hours.