Learnings is where I attempt to make sense of what I am doing, seeing, practicing throughout the month (among other verbs). It’s a place for all the ways I’m learning even when I don’t call it that.

September feels like rounding a street corner on a long walk, by the end of it every year I’m headed in a new direction. Some might just call that “how seasons work” but let me be poetic dramatic about it, please.

Last month I turned 30, hosted a book swap, book club, dinner party, cake decorating event, and navigated some scary health challenges. (I’m doing better now!) I feel distant from words — reading them and writing them. I’m trying to let that be a neutral fact that doesn’t mean anything about me. Something I don’t have to “figure out.” Everything is temporary! On that note, I read an essay on impermanence in college and it sort of broke my brain so I sent it to someone I had a crush on to try to impress them. It worked.

NOTICING

I can understand how a loneliness epidemic came to be. And I say understand intentionally because as a chronic intellectualizer there’s a difference for me between knowing something and then understanding or embodying it. Yes, all the societal factors, of course. We can get theoretical and philosophical all day long. But what I’m noticing is not as prominent in the discourse is the simple fact that initiating and maintaining relationships is a skillset that has to be honed and practiced. Once it is, the labor of being in community is immense and not at all valued by most American institutions. Basically, I’m tired. And it’s so worth it. I have so much more to say about this. For now, if you are noticing that being consistently known and seen in human relationships comes with challenges—you’re right. Let’s keep prioritizing it anyway.

POSING

Speaking of humans, as a reminder, I’m one of the most sentimental people you will ever meet. Somewhere along the way I picked up a habit of wanting to “mark the moment.” Like keep every card ever written to me, never delete a photo from my phone, find a signature scent for the year, ask you if you remember when à la Nostalgia from Inside Out 2 — you get it. Maybe it’s innate, I’m a Cancer moon.

So, when a friend was offering mini photoshoots on film, I had to say yes. From start to gallery delivery, the entire experience shimmered with ease. A rare case of vision and execution aligning without any stress. I wore an everyday outfit and had a friend come along just to be there. It was fun and casual and I felt comfortable the whole time. That feels revelatory. No second guessing, no drama—just inspiration, action, result. And it is all captured. Moment marked.

ASKING

Or thinking about asking.

• Who was the last person you texted “miss you” to?

• What’s your relationship to the moon?

• Why are so many books described as dazzling?

• What’s your current hyperfixation?

• Where is a place that makes you feel most like you? Best answer I’ve heard to date: “Probably under a willow tree.”

• What color is one of your favorite songs? (a honey shade of blue, anyone?)

• What scent will you associate with this time in your life?

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The best question I asked all month needs a bit of context. I was picking up dinner from one of my favorite neighborhood restaurants that has become kind of famous thanks to their amazing food and Guy Fieri. After ordering I saw that one of their menu items is called “Kristen Stewart Tacos.” I went back to the register and said “I have to ask, Kristen Stewart Tacos, is it in a gay way?” She said “Yes, our chef Wendy loves her and desperately wants to meet her.” Kristen, if you’re reading this, please go to Tumerico!

Trying a new thing where I set an intention for the month at the end of each learnings dispatch. In October, I want to turn my curiosity inwards and spend time wondering about myself. Do I still like what I say I like? What do I actually want? Ya know, keeping it light. I’ll report back with how I do! Wouldn’t it be cute if you told me one of your intentions? Or the answer to one of those questions? Very cutesy.

Until next time, it’s all learning baby.