Period zero. My son used to have early mornings at school for sports training, but the name makes it sound official-like. There's a story in that. The fire may not have been the story you wanted, or planned to tell, but it was entertaining, nonetheless. As usual, the gifs just add to the funny.
Sending best wishes to Lori, but particularly her husband and children. May they experience joy through the struggle.
Yeah, that's what my son has for Zero Period--basketball practice. Though I wouldn't call if official exactly. High school coaches have all the poise and competence of a drunken donkey.
Norm, admit it: Writer's block is real. And I continue to be amazed what some desperate writers will do to knock it loose. On that note: What did you do with the matches?
Seriously, I'm glad that at least nobody was hurt. And I hope you realize that your brain going temporarily off-line is normal in such a stressful situation.
Are you able to clear any of the foliage around your place to help prevent your home from being lost in the event of a fire, or are the oaks and other plant life simply too thick?
Finally: to me, it sounds like Mohawk may have been stoned our of his gourd. (I wasn't there ... just my 2 shekels.)
There are a lot of things I'd love to set on fire--Celtics jerseys, canyon cyclists, most politicians--all would give me plenty to write about. But my neighbor's house? Never! ...well, there is that one woman... the one with signs in her yard that say "Everything happens for a reason." And "When God closes a door..." Wouldn't mind so much if that house burnt to the ground.
Yeah, nobody hurt except a firefighter who was in and out of the hospital same day. I'm guessing you're right, that it is normal to short circuit. I've been pretty sharp in past emergencies. I think the fire danger is becoming so prolific that it looms large in my imagination. Reminds me of that movie Synecdoche, New York when the woman is touring a house with a real estate agent and one of the walls is on fire. The woman says, "I like it. I do! I'm... I'm just really concerned about dying in the fire." And the real estate agent calmly replies, "It's a big decision, how one prefers to die."
Are house is one of several cabins built in this canyon in the 1920s. We're told ours was the first built because it's ideal for flood breaks, which is why the fire department stages in front of our house when there's a fire or emergency. All that to say, if our house catches on fire, the entire canyon has perished. It's a thought that is equally comforting and morbid.
He was definitely stoned. He has a greenhouse, a green thumb, and a Cheech and Chong-like disposition.
First off: A butter knife did THAT??!! Oops ... wrong essay.
• I'm loving your book, *and* your guarantee is indeed true. No more vaginal dryness! I've been gushing about your work ... literally. Look for a shout-out on Amazon.
• About your neighbor with the signs ("When God closes a door..." etc.): One day, on a whim, I googled "toxic positivity." It's actually a thing, one that may be the subject of a snarky essay at some point. ("I'm sorry about your pancreatic cancer. Picture your tumor flying away like loving butterflies and pastel confetti. All is well...")
• Here's where we differ on choice of "cathartic kindling": You'd burn Celtic jerseys. Me? I'd burn Celtics. And their fans. And their offspring. ("All is well...")
Thanks for the review, Larry! Humor Impaired Syndrome?! We may have to collaborate on a drug to address such a condition. HumerX? To treat anyone with pain deriving from a broken funny bone.
I respect your commitment to burning Celtics and their fans. I would definitely stoke the flames as soon as Danny Ainge ignites.
Ainge is a smaller, better looking and nastier version of Bird.
My favorite essay in your book: “dodgeball revenge,” for one reason. The way you trashed that obese cockroach infesting the Oval Office. But they’re ALL great essays
So sorry Lori is back in the hospital. I hope she recovers soon.
Jeez-- fire! Glad everyone is safe. Hubby volunteers for the Red Cross. The number one call is fires-- from space heaters! The cheapo space heaters are the worst.
Another one I totally enjoyed reading, Norm….not for the loss of the house but for the adjectives and funny descriptions of Gray Wolf. So glad your house was not consumed!!!
Period zero. My son used to have early mornings at school for sports training, but the name makes it sound official-like. There's a story in that. The fire may not have been the story you wanted, or planned to tell, but it was entertaining, nonetheless. As usual, the gifs just add to the funny.
Sending best wishes to Lori, but particularly her husband and children. May they experience joy through the struggle.
Bahahahaha
Yeah, that's what my son has for Zero Period--basketball practice. Though I wouldn't call if official exactly. High school coaches have all the poise and competence of a drunken donkey.
Yh, reality sure does spoil the intrigue of an undercover operation taking place in a suburban high school.
Norm, admit it: Writer's block is real. And I continue to be amazed what some desperate writers will do to knock it loose. On that note: What did you do with the matches?
Seriously, I'm glad that at least nobody was hurt. And I hope you realize that your brain going temporarily off-line is normal in such a stressful situation.
Are you able to clear any of the foliage around your place to help prevent your home from being lost in the event of a fire, or are the oaks and other plant life simply too thick?
Finally: to me, it sounds like Mohawk may have been stoned our of his gourd. (I wasn't there ... just my 2 shekels.)
There are a lot of things I'd love to set on fire--Celtics jerseys, canyon cyclists, most politicians--all would give me plenty to write about. But my neighbor's house? Never! ...well, there is that one woman... the one with signs in her yard that say "Everything happens for a reason." And "When God closes a door..." Wouldn't mind so much if that house burnt to the ground.
Yeah, nobody hurt except a firefighter who was in and out of the hospital same day. I'm guessing you're right, that it is normal to short circuit. I've been pretty sharp in past emergencies. I think the fire danger is becoming so prolific that it looms large in my imagination. Reminds me of that movie Synecdoche, New York when the woman is touring a house with a real estate agent and one of the walls is on fire. The woman says, "I like it. I do! I'm... I'm just really concerned about dying in the fire." And the real estate agent calmly replies, "It's a big decision, how one prefers to die."
Are house is one of several cabins built in this canyon in the 1920s. We're told ours was the first built because it's ideal for flood breaks, which is why the fire department stages in front of our house when there's a fire or emergency. All that to say, if our house catches on fire, the entire canyon has perished. It's a thought that is equally comforting and morbid.
He was definitely stoned. He has a greenhouse, a green thumb, and a Cheech and Chong-like disposition.
First off: A butter knife did THAT??!! Oops ... wrong essay.
• I'm loving your book, *and* your guarantee is indeed true. No more vaginal dryness! I've been gushing about your work ... literally. Look for a shout-out on Amazon.
• About your neighbor with the signs ("When God closes a door..." etc.): One day, on a whim, I googled "toxic positivity." It's actually a thing, one that may be the subject of a snarky essay at some point. ("I'm sorry about your pancreatic cancer. Picture your tumor flying away like loving butterflies and pastel confetti. All is well...")
• Here's where we differ on choice of "cathartic kindling": You'd burn Celtic jerseys. Me? I'd burn Celtics. And their fans. And their offspring. ("All is well...")
Thanks for the review, Larry! Humor Impaired Syndrome?! We may have to collaborate on a drug to address such a condition. HumerX? To treat anyone with pain deriving from a broken funny bone.
I respect your commitment to burning Celtics and their fans. I would definitely stoke the flames as soon as Danny Ainge ignites.
HumerX. I love it.
Ainge is a smaller, better looking and nastier version of Bird.
My favorite essay in your book: “dodgeball revenge,” for one reason. The way you trashed that obese cockroach infesting the Oval Office. But they’re ALL great essays
So sorry Lori is back in the hospital. I hope she recovers soon.
Jeez-- fire! Glad everyone is safe. Hubby volunteers for the Red Cross. The number one call is fires-- from space heaters! The cheapo space heaters are the worst.
That's terrifying! Space heaters are like parachutes--you don't want a cheap one.
I’m glad you’re ok! The story made me laugh- although I feel like I shouldn’t have. Scary stuff!
Laughing when you feel like you shouldn't have is my favorite kind. That's the really good stuff. ;)
Wow, crazy story, but entertaining.
Crazy but entertaining? That's about as good a compliment as I'm gonna get. Thanks for reading. ;)
Another one I totally enjoyed reading, Norm….not for the loss of the house but for the adjectives and funny descriptions of Gray Wolf. So glad your house was not consumed!!!
Gray Wolf material writes itself. ;)
😂👌