The Songs You Grow to Like [1/1]
Title: The Songs You Grow to Like [1/1]
Author: Melly
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairings: Really super vague Joshua/Neku. More like just the stirrings of it.
Spoilers: None, this is an AU
Warnings: Language is all, really. Pretty tame.
Summary: High School AU. If Neku had just gone home that afternoon, things would have turned out a lot differently.
A/N: FoB came off hiatus, I figured it was a cosmic sign I should write more of Bang the Doldrums series. And I’m writing these out of order again. But this has a little something that needs to be established before anything else moves forward, so, there you go. Chronologically, this is first in the series, and happens about seven months before the previous installment. Enjoy!
It was fair, Neku thought, to assume that nothing would go wrong during one of the rare instances when he had made actual, genuine plans to hang out with his friends instead of go along with whatever Shiki and Eri wanted to do. But it was apparently too much to ask from whatever sadistic entity governed these things, and everything had fallen through by lunchtime. Beat had to pick up his sister after school, the president for one of Eri’s clubs was sick so she had to take over, and Shiki was dragged off for a group project, so Neku was left to pace around the halls alone at the end of the day. It was too cold to aimlessly wander around the city seeking out new graffiti tags, and heading home at this point struck him as admitting defeat. He still had his sketchbook for entertainment, after all.
It struck him, as he pushed through the door that led to the music and art wings, that he had plenty of empty, quiet spaces to utilize. The idea of extensive, interruption-free drawing time was a tempting one, and soon, he was moving down the hallway with purpose. After a few strides, he realized the art rooms were likely occupied, since they were big spaces good for club meetings. The music rooms, on the other hand, were mostly smaller and soundproof besides. Perfect.
Or it would have been, if most of the doors Neku tried weren’t locked. He jiggled one of the knobs forcefully in frustration before huffing and stepping back. They probably kept everything shut tight to prevent anyone from stealing or ruining the instruments, now that he thought about it, but it still jammed a wrench into his new agenda. He was partway through the motion of turning on his heel to head in the other direction, wondering if maybe he really should give up and trudge back home, when the faint strains of a song reached him. Neku cocked his head to the side, seeking out the source of the piano notes, before he finally noticed that the door at the very end of the corridor was propped open. With his curiosity piqued, he wandered over, the music growing louder as he grew closer, until he was able to see inside the room.
He was startled to see that he recognized was seated at the piano, albeit only vaguely. Joshua Kiryu was situated a few desks behind Neku in history and literature, but even without the shared class, it would be hard to forget someone with features as striking and uncommon as his. Beyond his appearance, though, all Neku knew about him was he was on student council. And played piano, apparently. The song was one Neku thought seemed very familiar, in a way he couldn’t quite bring forth to the front of his mind, like something he’d heard in passing years and years ago. He simply leaned his shoulder against the doorframe and focused on the music, begrudgingly admitting to himself that Joshua was obviously quite talented. It was becoming a little hypnotizing to watch his fingers dance along the keys effortlessly, to observe the actual movements of shifting to a new song, one with a slightly slower tempo.
“You can take a seat, you know.” The other glanced up, briefly, continuing to play even as he spoke. “If you want to keep listening.”
“I. Um.” Neku felt the tips of his ears heat up in sheepishness at being caught. “I just was looking for someplace quiet to draw and I heard—”
“It’s fine. I’m mostly messing around anyway.”
“Oh.” He paused, not sure what to make of that kind of playing being categorized as goofing off, but eventually asked, “what song is it?”
“A few things from Swan Lake.” Joshua shrugged, hands coming to a rest. “I heard the orchestra practicing earlier, so it was stuck in my head.”
“And you just…” Neku gestured vaguely to the piano, a little baffled. He didn’t see any sheet music anywhere.
“I can play by ear.” Joshua tapped his index finger to his lobe. “A rare talent to be sure, but useful.”
“So you were just showing off.”
“No. How could I be showing off if I didn’t expect to play for an audience?” He crossed his ankles, an infuriatingly smug smile pulling at the corners of his lips. “In case you’ve forgotten, you were the one who intruded on my practice.”
“Okay, right. Guess I’ll just go, then.” Neku pushed himself away from the doorframe, but before he took a single step out into the hall, Joshua started laughing, light and mockingly.
“Now, now, don’t get touchy. I’m just stating fact.” The other tipped his head to the side, thoughtfully, gaze appraising. “You’re Neku, right? Neku Sakuraba?”
“Yeah?” He frowned, eyebrows furrowing. “How’d you know?”
“You sit in front of me, caddy-corner, in history and lit. I hear your name called for roll all the time.” Joshua heaved a sigh, feigning disappointment. “I suppose I just pay attention. Unlike some people.”
“Hey! I know who you are.” He really had to wonder, amongst all the rumors floating around, why he hadn’t heard anything about what a haughty asshole Joshua was.
“Do you really?” Neku was about to protest, even try to slip in a quip about calling him Yoshiya if they were going off attendance, but the tone of the question made him hesitate. It wasn’t rhetorical. Not exactly. There was a searching edge to it that made him think Joshua wanted a different answer than just verification that Neku knew his name. But after another few seconds, he glanced away, topic shifting as he moved. “It’s funny seeing you around here this late. You’re not in any clubs.”
“How did you know that?”
“We have the rosters in student council.” He gestured, dismissively. “So, why are you here? Waiting for someone? Had detention, maybe?”
“No, just…killing time.” Neku shrugged one shoulder, dismissively. “I had plans, but they kinda fell apart at the last minute.”
“So you’re bored?” Joshua slipped off the piano bench, closing the lid to the instrument. “Me too. Let’s go somewhere.”
“What?” Just like that?
“It’s not like you have anything better to do, right?” He tossed Neku a look over his shoulder as he picked up a bag set in one of the cubbies under the window. “You just said so.”
“Well, yeah, but—”
“Don’t worry. Your virtue and stellar social reputation will remain safe, even if you spend some time with me.” Joshua stepped past him into the hall, sarcasm dripping from his words so thickly, Neku thought he could taste it. He glowered at the quip, but received only a slight, self-satisfied smile in return. “Let’s go. Do you like bubble tea?”
“It’s okay, I guess.” Against all better judgment and instincts, Neku found himself following after the other, falling into step beside him. Boredom must have reached the point of insanity. “I don’t like the super sweet kind.”
“The new place near Towa is supposed to have every flavor you could ever want.” Joshua pushed open the door that led out into the quad, reaching into his bag to pull out a deep orange scarf the second an influx of stinging cold air hit them. “Or so the gossip says. I guess we’ll find out, won’t we?”
“Sure.” Neku shoved his hands into his pockets, giving Joshua a curious, indirect glance. “…you’re not what I expected.”
“Oh? And what did you imagine me to be like?”
“I dunno…more formal. I mean, you’re stuck-up, but you don’t act like you have a stick up your ass.” He caught a brief snippet of high, lilting laughter that could almost be classified as a giggle before the other muffled it, ducking his head into the bright fabric wrapped around his neck. “What’s so funny?”
“Nothing.” Joshua shook his head, voice still tinged with amusement. “You’re just not what I really expected, either.”
“Right.” Huffing, Neku glanced off to the other side of the street, a little surprised someone like Joshua had bothered to form any sort of opinion about him in the first place. Didn’t he have better things to do? “What did you think about me, anyway?”
“You seemed like the typical brooding antisocial type.” He raised one shoulder in an absent shrug. “I thought you’d have been going on about what a conformist I am by now.”
“What, seriously?” Neku scrunched his nose up, disbelieving. “Should I be insulted?”
“I don’t know. You asked me a question and I answered it,” Joshua pointed out. “You don’t really give off a friendly, approachable aura, you know.”
“You don’t either.”
“You care about my opinion enough to be arguing this point?” He had slowed to a stop in front of a simple glass paned door, one eyebrow quirked as he looked back to Neku.
“No, I mean—that’s—whatever.” The steadily growing blush he felt creeping up was a telltale sign anything he said in defense would just make things worse. “Let’s go inside.”
“All right.” Those two words, normally so innocuous, made Neku’s hands curl into fists from the snide, smug cadence in other’s tone, the barely concealed taunt of I won. Shockingly, he managed to follow Joshua inside without doing anything that could land him assault charges.
The place was typical, trendy, with multi-colored chairs and bubblegum pop playing dimly from speakers somewhere amongst the weird, oddly molded lamps hanging from the ceiling. Whoever remarked on the selection wasn’t kidding, and Neku saw things on the menu board that he never even knew you could flavor tea with, but considering he was never one to be adventurous with food, stuck with simple, inoffensive sesame. They settled down at a table near the back, removed from the bulk of the noise and chatter.
“I thought you would have gone with something weirder than peach,” Neku remarked, gesturing to Joshua’s drink.
“Well, hasn’t today been a lesson in making assumptions?” He took a sip of his tea, making a quiet noise of approval before continuing. “I’m actually quite picky, if you must know.”
“I’ll keep it in mind.” Rolling his eyes, Neku tentatively tried a bit of his own drink, a little surprised when he could actually taste the black tea underneath the sweetness of the milk and sesame. Huh, not bad.
“So if you’re not writing tortured, dark poetry, what is it you do with your spare time?”
“What?” He glanced up, wondering if Joshua’s inquisitive expression was feigned or not. “Uh. Draw, listen to music, play video games…stuff like that.”
“Considering how much time you spend with your nose in that sketchbook, I’m not surprised.” Joshua smirked around his straw. “Do you even take notes in class?”
“Yes.” Neku shot a glare across the table, but when the other remained completely undaunted, he deflated slightly. “Sometimes.”
“Mm, I thought as much.” He rested his cheek on the back of his hand, eyes shifting over to the window. “Not that I can really blame you. It’s all so tedious.”
“…that’s weird coming from you.” As far as Neku knew, Joshua scored in the top ten on a regular basis.
“Just because I do well at something doesn’t mean I find it interesting.” Neku watched the other’s gaze follow the paths of people walking by outside. “It’s expected of me, is all. Otherwise, I’d only care about the subjects I enjoy.”
“I get that, yeah.”
“It’s difficult not viewing it as a waste of my time.” Joshua shrugged, widely, turning back around to take a long sip of his tea and absently chew on a tapioca ball.
“That’s called being a selfish brat,” Neku retorted, but yet again, any attempt at a comeback only seemed to make Joshua more amused.
“I don’t hear you disagreeing.” He folded both arms on the tabletop, stare pinning Neku to his chair as easily as the truth of his words did. The whole conversation was grating to the point of teeth grinding and headaches, yet Neku wasn’t walking away, wasn’t saying fuck you to Joshua and storming out the door. Because, despite how frustrating, how impossible it was, Neku hadn’t ever had a conversation flow so easily upon first meeting someone. The banter was natural, engaging, an effortless back and forth. Joshua was a little like a puzzle box, a hint of something fascinating underneath all the panels and hidden switches. Or maybe Neku was simply too stubborn to keep letting someone always get the last word in.
“So? Doesn’t mean what I said isn’t true.”
“Then you’re just as much of a brat as me.” Joshua tucked a stray lock of hair behind his ear, Neku watching the gesture with narrowed eyes. “Although…isn’t there a adage about thieves keeping each other company?”
“Is that your way of saying you like hanging out with me?” He quirked an eyebrow, expression turning more incredulous as Joshua laughed again, the cadence lighter this time, and without mockery.
“Maybe.” He drew the word out, teasing, and it hit Neku, sharp and startling like missing a step when walking down stairs, that Joshua was impressed with him. “I haven’t made up some excuse to leave yet, have I?”
“No. Guess not.” Neku lowered his head, sucking up a mouthful of tea and tapioca to cover the slow spread of a smile. He wasn’t quite sure where it came from, some strange variation of pride or that he was genuinely having fun.
Either way, a small victory was still a victory.
****
“So I heard a funny rumor about you.”
“Me?” Neku barely spared any attention away from his history notes, desperately tying to cram another date into his memory. “You sure about that, Eri?”
“Yep.” She perched on the edge of Shiki’s desk, folding her arms as she looked Neku over, critically. “People are saying you’ve been hanging around Joshua Kiryu.”
“Yeah, so?”
“So, you of all people suddenly becomes buddy-buddy with him. That’s weird, right?” Neku didn’t answer, steadfastly trying to ignore the conversation in favor of frantic studying. “Right?”
“I wouldn’t say weird,” Shiki chimed in, setting her flashcards aside. “But Joshua doesn’t seem like the kind of person you’d make friends with, Neku.”
“We actually have a lot in common.” Rolling his eyes, he turned a page in his notebook, a little dismayed to see the paper was filled three quarters of the way with doodles of the cityscape instead of a timeline. “As shocking as that might be.”
“Well, it’s probably not entirely you.” Eri examined her nails, frowning when she found some imperfection in the polish.
“What d’you mean?”
“I mean, Joshua’s kinda…how do I put this?” She let out a long exhale, repetitively turning her wrist so her hand moved in a circle, as if to summon the right phrasing out of thin air. “He was my partner for chem lab last semester. He knew what he was doing and wasn’t mean or anything, but I always got the impression that he was just being polite to me.”
“He treats everyone like that, I think.” Shiki adjusted her glasses, thoughtfully, while Eri nodded along in commiseration. “Holding people at arms length all the time. It’s why there’s so much talk. No one gets what you did differently.”
“I don’t really get it either,” Neku muttered, looking back and forth between the two girls, eyebrows furrowing with steadily increasing puzzlement. “We were just bored one day and decided to hang, and then things went from there.”
“Huh. So it was dumb luck?” Eri seemed just as perplexed, but the insistant ringing of the bell, signaling the end of the free period, stopped any further gossip and speculation in its tracks. “Whoops. We better get going.”
“Right.” Shiki packed up her things, smiling as she slid out of her seat and moved to Eri’s side. “See you later, Neku. Good luck on your test.”
“Yeah, thanks. I’ll need it.” He waved, absently, slouching in his seat once they had left. Really going to need it.
“You’re not going to die, you know.” His head shot up, startled, realizing he must have been exceedingly preoccupied with his private dread if he hadn’t noticed Joshua filing in with the rest of the students. “Just one little test.”
“Easy for you to say.” Sullen, Neku glared half-heartedly at the other, watching him sit at his desk and throw a casual arm across the back of his chair.
“I’ll lend you my notes next time, if you’re so worried,” Joshua said, waving his hand dismissively. “But, listen, are you free after school? I want to go somewhere.”
“Uh, sure.” He closed his notebook once the teacher walked in, eyeing the papers she held with apprehension. “Don’t you have student council stuff to do, though?”
“They won’t miss me today.” There was a brief flash of a smile as Joshua turned back around in his seat, and Neku felt a tiny tendril of curiosity creep up, wondering what he had agreed to, but that was smothered the second class started, when he had thirty exam questions to occupy his thoughts instead.
Eventually, once he had survived that and the following two classes, Neku found Joshua waiting at his locker, phone in hand and nonchalant, one shoulder supporting his weight against the metal. Maybe it was the conversation from earlier, but Neku was picking up on a few prying stares from their classmates as he drew closer. Was it seriously that difficult to believe?
“Hey.”
“Oh, hello.” Joshua took a short step back when Neku approached, no longer blocking the locker door. “So, do you like coffee?”
“Yeah. Sure.” He stuffed a few unneeded textbooks onto the shelves once he got the lock undone, relieving some weight from his bag. “Why? Are we going to a café?”
“Mm-hmm.” Joshua waited for Neku to slip on his jacket and headphones before starting down the hallway. “Oh, and on our way out, tell me if you see any of the other council members. I’m not the mood and don’t have the energy to come up with an excuse for them right now.”
“Fine, fine. I’ll help you play hooky.” It had to be what Shiki and Eri were talking about that made him feel stupidly pleased at the fact Joshua was skipping out on duties for him. When had he ever cared about that kind of thing before?
Luckily, they weren’t detained during their escape from campus, and fell into easy small talk after a block or two, which eventually devolved into mutual complaining. Joshua was surprisingly easy to vent to, likely because whether the snide comments he slipped in were directed at the object of Neku’s ire, or at Neku himself, they were always a good distraction.
“You know, I rather envy you for not being involved in anything like that,” Joshua mentioned, shifting the topic over from Neku grumbling about how he wouldn’t join art club because they never varied mediums or topics enough to be interesting. “It’s takes up far too much of your time.”
“Hey, if you hate student council so much, why don’t you quit?” That had been bothering him for a while, why the other ran for the position in the first place if it was so obvious he didn’t want to be a part of it.
“It’s not so simple.” Something in Joshua’s expression soured, subtly, a slight tightening in the set of his jaw, gaze cast to the side. “My parents want me to be in it. I need to uphold a certain standard, apparently.”
“A standard?”
“Never mind.” He gave a quick shake of his head, hair swinging in front of his face with the movement. Pausing, he brushed it out of the way with a distracted sweep of his hand before sidestepping around Neku to head towards one of the shops lining the street, a sign reading WildKat hanging above its entrance. “Anyway, here we are.”
Still preoccupied with trying to unravel what Joshua had meant, Neku trailed after the other into the café wordlessly, distantly noting the sound of a bell chiming as the door swung inwards.
“Well, well, look who finally decided to pay me a visit.”
“I’ve been busy. And there’s no rule against you coming to see me.” Joshua made a beeline for the bar, resting his elbows on it in order to address the man working behind the counter more easily. Baffled by the familiarity, Neku wandered over, choosing to stand self-consciously next to one of the stools, unsure if he should sit down if Joshua wasn’t. “By the way, this is Neku, a friend from school. Neku, this is Sanae Hanekoma, my godfather.”
“Uh. Nice to meet you.” Neku fiddled with the strap of his bag, thinking the distance over the counter was a little too large for a comfortable handshake.
“Same here.” Even behind the dark lens of Hanekoma’s sunglasses—who the hell wore those indoors, anyway?—Neku got the distinct impression he was being scrutinized, instantly evaluated from head to toe. “So, what’ll it be?”
“I’ll have my usual,” Joshua said, airily, tapping the fingers of one hand against the wood of the bar in an ordered, repeating rhythm, as if on piano keys.
“Just regular coffee and cream for me.” Neku watched him, trying to piece together what song it might be, what melody was playing in the other’s head, but ultimately failing.
“Y’know, it’s rare Josh brings other people by,” Hanekoma mentioned as he started making their drinks. “Blink twice if you’re here against your will.”
“That’s not funny.” Joshua rolled his eyes. “It’s actually a little insulting you think I’d resort to blackmail.”
“Maybe not blackmail, but you could’ve promised to write an essay for him or somethin’.”
“History notes,” Neku interjected, grinning when Hanekoma stated laughing and Joshua all but glowered at him. “What? It’s true.”
“You’re not helping.” He sighed, petulant and sulking now that he failed to get back the upper hand, until a pale blue mug was placed in front of him, caramel swirled on top of the foam. Hanekoma slid a similar mug, in pine green, over to Neku, steam rising up from the coffee’s surface in gentle curls. Picking up his drink, Joshua stepped away from the bar, motioning for Neku to follow him as he moved towards a door at the rear of the café. “We’ll be in the back room.”
“Sure thing, J. Don’t break anything.” Hanekoma waved them off, smile equal parts enigmatic and pleased as he watched them leave the main part of the cafe, before turning back to tinkering with the espresso machine.
The room Joshua had led Neku to was small, barely leaving enough distance between the furniture to maneuver around comfortably. But despite the limited space, it felt cozy rather than cramped, the chairs scattered about plush and inviting. Neku placed his cup on the low table in the middle so it wouldn’t spill, and slipped his bag off his shoulder, flopping back onto a seat with a heavy sigh.
“This is pretty cool.”
“Good you think so.” Joshua had pulled out his phone, index finger sweeping down the touch screen as he scrolled along with whatever he was reading. “This used to be a storage closet. When I was younger and came to the café, I’d hide out here, and eventually Sanae decided to make it comfortable if he wasn’t going to use it for anything else.”
“So…this is your secret clubhouse or something?” Neku reached out for his mug, blowing lightly over the surface before having a cursory taste. When it didn’t burn his tongue and wasn’t overly bitter, he had another.
“If you want to make a ‘no girls allowed’ sign and stick it on the door, I’m not going to stop you.” Joshua’s eyes flicked up, meeting Neku’s gaze for just a second, the corner of his mouth curled up in a smirk. “Could build a pillow fort while you’re at it.”
“Not enough blankets or cushions.” Snorting derisively, he put his feet up on the table, ignoring the other’s subsequent frown. “So your godfather’s…interesting.”
“Oh, yes. He’s certainly that.” Joshua finally set his phone aside in order to pick up his drink, both hands wrapping around the mug. “You’d get along with him, though. He’s an artist like you.”
“Seriously?”
“Completely.” He nodded, taking a long sip of coffee, lips lingering on the rim of the cup. “Some of his works are out in the main part of the café. Sanae likes to keep a low profile, for whatever reason, but he’s very good.”
“Huh.” Neku tipped his head back, staring at the ceiling while his thoughts flickered from that newest tidbit, to how being allowed in the back room felt incredibly personal, to what Hanekoma said about Joshua never bringing anyone else by, to the incredulous looks from all their classmates. “Hey, Josh?”
“Mm?”
“Did you know people are talking about us? Like, how it’s funny we’re friends.” He tried to flatten his tone into something casual, indifferent, but it came out edged in anxiousness. “It’s not that weird, is it?”
“I’ve heard a little here and there,” Joshua replied, looking contemplatively into his mug. “And it’s…well. I haven’t really spent time around someone like I have with you.”
“Yeah, I—uh, there was something about that, too.” It was stupid, he reminded himself, completely and utterly ridiculous that he was this concerned over the reasoning behind their friendship. But the words came out before he could rein them in entirely. “Everyone’s wondering what I did different, I guess. I didn’t know what to tell them.”
“You didn’t do anything.” Resting his drink on the table to free his hands, Joshua curled the fingers of one tightly into the tips of his hair, head minutely tipped down towards the floor. Something about the gesture, subtle and understated as it was, made a heavy, sour, disconcerted feeling settle in Neku’s chest, something about the brief instance of vulnerability flickering across the other’s features. But before he could act on it, Joshua continued speaking. “That’s the point. With everyone else it’s…they don’t want to get to know me. Not really. They have some ideal in mind before they even speak to me, and I don’t want to deal with that. You, though, obviously didn’t have an agenda concerning me. So I gave you a chance.”
“…are you glad you did?” Neku wished he could grab the all hesitance and insecurity right out of his tone, but he could no longer maintain it was a mutual way alleviate boredom, and the loss would be more than entertainment value.
“I let you into my super secret hideout,” Joshua teased, giggling when he pushed his foot firmly against Neku’s calves to knock his legs off the table. All worry evaporated before his shoes even hit the floor. “So what do you think?”
“I think you need to skip out on clubs more often.”
“I will. If you take the blame for my delinquency.” A small price to pay for more of this, for more talks over coffee in warm, private rooms. For more of Joshua.
“Deal.”
A/N: The title comes from the song “Dead on Arrival” by Fall Out Boy. The music Joshua is playing is from here.
Author: Melly
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairings: Really super vague Joshua/Neku. More like just the stirrings of it.
Spoilers: None, this is an AU
Warnings: Language is all, really. Pretty tame.
Summary: High School AU. If Neku had just gone home that afternoon, things would have turned out a lot differently.
A/N: FoB came off hiatus, I figured it was a cosmic sign I should write more of Bang the Doldrums series. And I’m writing these out of order again. But this has a little something that needs to be established before anything else moves forward, so, there you go. Chronologically, this is first in the series, and happens about seven months before the previous installment. Enjoy!
It was fair, Neku thought, to assume that nothing would go wrong during one of the rare instances when he had made actual, genuine plans to hang out with his friends instead of go along with whatever Shiki and Eri wanted to do. But it was apparently too much to ask from whatever sadistic entity governed these things, and everything had fallen through by lunchtime. Beat had to pick up his sister after school, the president for one of Eri’s clubs was sick so she had to take over, and Shiki was dragged off for a group project, so Neku was left to pace around the halls alone at the end of the day. It was too cold to aimlessly wander around the city seeking out new graffiti tags, and heading home at this point struck him as admitting defeat. He still had his sketchbook for entertainment, after all.
It struck him, as he pushed through the door that led to the music and art wings, that he had plenty of empty, quiet spaces to utilize. The idea of extensive, interruption-free drawing time was a tempting one, and soon, he was moving down the hallway with purpose. After a few strides, he realized the art rooms were likely occupied, since they were big spaces good for club meetings. The music rooms, on the other hand, were mostly smaller and soundproof besides. Perfect.
Or it would have been, if most of the doors Neku tried weren’t locked. He jiggled one of the knobs forcefully in frustration before huffing and stepping back. They probably kept everything shut tight to prevent anyone from stealing or ruining the instruments, now that he thought about it, but it still jammed a wrench into his new agenda. He was partway through the motion of turning on his heel to head in the other direction, wondering if maybe he really should give up and trudge back home, when the faint strains of a song reached him. Neku cocked his head to the side, seeking out the source of the piano notes, before he finally noticed that the door at the very end of the corridor was propped open. With his curiosity piqued, he wandered over, the music growing louder as he grew closer, until he was able to see inside the room.
He was startled to see that he recognized was seated at the piano, albeit only vaguely. Joshua Kiryu was situated a few desks behind Neku in history and literature, but even without the shared class, it would be hard to forget someone with features as striking and uncommon as his. Beyond his appearance, though, all Neku knew about him was he was on student council. And played piano, apparently. The song was one Neku thought seemed very familiar, in a way he couldn’t quite bring forth to the front of his mind, like something he’d heard in passing years and years ago. He simply leaned his shoulder against the doorframe and focused on the music, begrudgingly admitting to himself that Joshua was obviously quite talented. It was becoming a little hypnotizing to watch his fingers dance along the keys effortlessly, to observe the actual movements of shifting to a new song, one with a slightly slower tempo.
“You can take a seat, you know.” The other glanced up, briefly, continuing to play even as he spoke. “If you want to keep listening.”
“I. Um.” Neku felt the tips of his ears heat up in sheepishness at being caught. “I just was looking for someplace quiet to draw and I heard—”
“It’s fine. I’m mostly messing around anyway.”
“Oh.” He paused, not sure what to make of that kind of playing being categorized as goofing off, but eventually asked, “what song is it?”
“A few things from Swan Lake.” Joshua shrugged, hands coming to a rest. “I heard the orchestra practicing earlier, so it was stuck in my head.”
“And you just…” Neku gestured vaguely to the piano, a little baffled. He didn’t see any sheet music anywhere.
“I can play by ear.” Joshua tapped his index finger to his lobe. “A rare talent to be sure, but useful.”
“So you were just showing off.”
“No. How could I be showing off if I didn’t expect to play for an audience?” He crossed his ankles, an infuriatingly smug smile pulling at the corners of his lips. “In case you’ve forgotten, you were the one who intruded on my practice.”
“Okay, right. Guess I’ll just go, then.” Neku pushed himself away from the doorframe, but before he took a single step out into the hall, Joshua started laughing, light and mockingly.
“Now, now, don’t get touchy. I’m just stating fact.” The other tipped his head to the side, thoughtfully, gaze appraising. “You’re Neku, right? Neku Sakuraba?”
“Yeah?” He frowned, eyebrows furrowing. “How’d you know?”
“You sit in front of me, caddy-corner, in history and lit. I hear your name called for roll all the time.” Joshua heaved a sigh, feigning disappointment. “I suppose I just pay attention. Unlike some people.”
“Hey! I know who you are.” He really had to wonder, amongst all the rumors floating around, why he hadn’t heard anything about what a haughty asshole Joshua was.
“Do you really?” Neku was about to protest, even try to slip in a quip about calling him Yoshiya if they were going off attendance, but the tone of the question made him hesitate. It wasn’t rhetorical. Not exactly. There was a searching edge to it that made him think Joshua wanted a different answer than just verification that Neku knew his name. But after another few seconds, he glanced away, topic shifting as he moved. “It’s funny seeing you around here this late. You’re not in any clubs.”
“How did you know that?”
“We have the rosters in student council.” He gestured, dismissively. “So, why are you here? Waiting for someone? Had detention, maybe?”
“No, just…killing time.” Neku shrugged one shoulder, dismissively. “I had plans, but they kinda fell apart at the last minute.”
“So you’re bored?” Joshua slipped off the piano bench, closing the lid to the instrument. “Me too. Let’s go somewhere.”
“What?” Just like that?
“It’s not like you have anything better to do, right?” He tossed Neku a look over his shoulder as he picked up a bag set in one of the cubbies under the window. “You just said so.”
“Well, yeah, but—”
“Don’t worry. Your virtue and stellar social reputation will remain safe, even if you spend some time with me.” Joshua stepped past him into the hall, sarcasm dripping from his words so thickly, Neku thought he could taste it. He glowered at the quip, but received only a slight, self-satisfied smile in return. “Let’s go. Do you like bubble tea?”
“It’s okay, I guess.” Against all better judgment and instincts, Neku found himself following after the other, falling into step beside him. Boredom must have reached the point of insanity. “I don’t like the super sweet kind.”
“The new place near Towa is supposed to have every flavor you could ever want.” Joshua pushed open the door that led out into the quad, reaching into his bag to pull out a deep orange scarf the second an influx of stinging cold air hit them. “Or so the gossip says. I guess we’ll find out, won’t we?”
“Sure.” Neku shoved his hands into his pockets, giving Joshua a curious, indirect glance. “…you’re not what I expected.”
“Oh? And what did you imagine me to be like?”
“I dunno…more formal. I mean, you’re stuck-up, but you don’t act like you have a stick up your ass.” He caught a brief snippet of high, lilting laughter that could almost be classified as a giggle before the other muffled it, ducking his head into the bright fabric wrapped around his neck. “What’s so funny?”
“Nothing.” Joshua shook his head, voice still tinged with amusement. “You’re just not what I really expected, either.”
“Right.” Huffing, Neku glanced off to the other side of the street, a little surprised someone like Joshua had bothered to form any sort of opinion about him in the first place. Didn’t he have better things to do? “What did you think about me, anyway?”
“You seemed like the typical brooding antisocial type.” He raised one shoulder in an absent shrug. “I thought you’d have been going on about what a conformist I am by now.”
“What, seriously?” Neku scrunched his nose up, disbelieving. “Should I be insulted?”
“I don’t know. You asked me a question and I answered it,” Joshua pointed out. “You don’t really give off a friendly, approachable aura, you know.”
“You don’t either.”
“You care about my opinion enough to be arguing this point?” He had slowed to a stop in front of a simple glass paned door, one eyebrow quirked as he looked back to Neku.
“No, I mean—that’s—whatever.” The steadily growing blush he felt creeping up was a telltale sign anything he said in defense would just make things worse. “Let’s go inside.”
“All right.” Those two words, normally so innocuous, made Neku’s hands curl into fists from the snide, smug cadence in other’s tone, the barely concealed taunt of I won. Shockingly, he managed to follow Joshua inside without doing anything that could land him assault charges.
The place was typical, trendy, with multi-colored chairs and bubblegum pop playing dimly from speakers somewhere amongst the weird, oddly molded lamps hanging from the ceiling. Whoever remarked on the selection wasn’t kidding, and Neku saw things on the menu board that he never even knew you could flavor tea with, but considering he was never one to be adventurous with food, stuck with simple, inoffensive sesame. They settled down at a table near the back, removed from the bulk of the noise and chatter.
“I thought you would have gone with something weirder than peach,” Neku remarked, gesturing to Joshua’s drink.
“Well, hasn’t today been a lesson in making assumptions?” He took a sip of his tea, making a quiet noise of approval before continuing. “I’m actually quite picky, if you must know.”
“I’ll keep it in mind.” Rolling his eyes, Neku tentatively tried a bit of his own drink, a little surprised when he could actually taste the black tea underneath the sweetness of the milk and sesame. Huh, not bad.
“So if you’re not writing tortured, dark poetry, what is it you do with your spare time?”
“What?” He glanced up, wondering if Joshua’s inquisitive expression was feigned or not. “Uh. Draw, listen to music, play video games…stuff like that.”
“Considering how much time you spend with your nose in that sketchbook, I’m not surprised.” Joshua smirked around his straw. “Do you even take notes in class?”
“Yes.” Neku shot a glare across the table, but when the other remained completely undaunted, he deflated slightly. “Sometimes.”
“Mm, I thought as much.” He rested his cheek on the back of his hand, eyes shifting over to the window. “Not that I can really blame you. It’s all so tedious.”
“…that’s weird coming from you.” As far as Neku knew, Joshua scored in the top ten on a regular basis.
“Just because I do well at something doesn’t mean I find it interesting.” Neku watched the other’s gaze follow the paths of people walking by outside. “It’s expected of me, is all. Otherwise, I’d only care about the subjects I enjoy.”
“I get that, yeah.”
“It’s difficult not viewing it as a waste of my time.” Joshua shrugged, widely, turning back around to take a long sip of his tea and absently chew on a tapioca ball.
“That’s called being a selfish brat,” Neku retorted, but yet again, any attempt at a comeback only seemed to make Joshua more amused.
“I don’t hear you disagreeing.” He folded both arms on the tabletop, stare pinning Neku to his chair as easily as the truth of his words did. The whole conversation was grating to the point of teeth grinding and headaches, yet Neku wasn’t walking away, wasn’t saying fuck you to Joshua and storming out the door. Because, despite how frustrating, how impossible it was, Neku hadn’t ever had a conversation flow so easily upon first meeting someone. The banter was natural, engaging, an effortless back and forth. Joshua was a little like a puzzle box, a hint of something fascinating underneath all the panels and hidden switches. Or maybe Neku was simply too stubborn to keep letting someone always get the last word in.
“So? Doesn’t mean what I said isn’t true.”
“Then you’re just as much of a brat as me.” Joshua tucked a stray lock of hair behind his ear, Neku watching the gesture with narrowed eyes. “Although…isn’t there a adage about thieves keeping each other company?”
“Is that your way of saying you like hanging out with me?” He quirked an eyebrow, expression turning more incredulous as Joshua laughed again, the cadence lighter this time, and without mockery.
“Maybe.” He drew the word out, teasing, and it hit Neku, sharp and startling like missing a step when walking down stairs, that Joshua was impressed with him. “I haven’t made up some excuse to leave yet, have I?”
“No. Guess not.” Neku lowered his head, sucking up a mouthful of tea and tapioca to cover the slow spread of a smile. He wasn’t quite sure where it came from, some strange variation of pride or that he was genuinely having fun.
Either way, a small victory was still a victory.
****
“So I heard a funny rumor about you.”
“Me?” Neku barely spared any attention away from his history notes, desperately tying to cram another date into his memory. “You sure about that, Eri?”
“Yep.” She perched on the edge of Shiki’s desk, folding her arms as she looked Neku over, critically. “People are saying you’ve been hanging around Joshua Kiryu.”
“Yeah, so?”
“So, you of all people suddenly becomes buddy-buddy with him. That’s weird, right?” Neku didn’t answer, steadfastly trying to ignore the conversation in favor of frantic studying. “Right?”
“I wouldn’t say weird,” Shiki chimed in, setting her flashcards aside. “But Joshua doesn’t seem like the kind of person you’d make friends with, Neku.”
“We actually have a lot in common.” Rolling his eyes, he turned a page in his notebook, a little dismayed to see the paper was filled three quarters of the way with doodles of the cityscape instead of a timeline. “As shocking as that might be.”
“Well, it’s probably not entirely you.” Eri examined her nails, frowning when she found some imperfection in the polish.
“What d’you mean?”
“I mean, Joshua’s kinda…how do I put this?” She let out a long exhale, repetitively turning her wrist so her hand moved in a circle, as if to summon the right phrasing out of thin air. “He was my partner for chem lab last semester. He knew what he was doing and wasn’t mean or anything, but I always got the impression that he was just being polite to me.”
“He treats everyone like that, I think.” Shiki adjusted her glasses, thoughtfully, while Eri nodded along in commiseration. “Holding people at arms length all the time. It’s why there’s so much talk. No one gets what you did differently.”
“I don’t really get it either,” Neku muttered, looking back and forth between the two girls, eyebrows furrowing with steadily increasing puzzlement. “We were just bored one day and decided to hang, and then things went from there.”
“Huh. So it was dumb luck?” Eri seemed just as perplexed, but the insistant ringing of the bell, signaling the end of the free period, stopped any further gossip and speculation in its tracks. “Whoops. We better get going.”
“Right.” Shiki packed up her things, smiling as she slid out of her seat and moved to Eri’s side. “See you later, Neku. Good luck on your test.”
“Yeah, thanks. I’ll need it.” He waved, absently, slouching in his seat once they had left. Really going to need it.
“You’re not going to die, you know.” His head shot up, startled, realizing he must have been exceedingly preoccupied with his private dread if he hadn’t noticed Joshua filing in with the rest of the students. “Just one little test.”
“Easy for you to say.” Sullen, Neku glared half-heartedly at the other, watching him sit at his desk and throw a casual arm across the back of his chair.
“I’ll lend you my notes next time, if you’re so worried,” Joshua said, waving his hand dismissively. “But, listen, are you free after school? I want to go somewhere.”
“Uh, sure.” He closed his notebook once the teacher walked in, eyeing the papers she held with apprehension. “Don’t you have student council stuff to do, though?”
“They won’t miss me today.” There was a brief flash of a smile as Joshua turned back around in his seat, and Neku felt a tiny tendril of curiosity creep up, wondering what he had agreed to, but that was smothered the second class started, when he had thirty exam questions to occupy his thoughts instead.
Eventually, once he had survived that and the following two classes, Neku found Joshua waiting at his locker, phone in hand and nonchalant, one shoulder supporting his weight against the metal. Maybe it was the conversation from earlier, but Neku was picking up on a few prying stares from their classmates as he drew closer. Was it seriously that difficult to believe?
“Hey.”
“Oh, hello.” Joshua took a short step back when Neku approached, no longer blocking the locker door. “So, do you like coffee?”
“Yeah. Sure.” He stuffed a few unneeded textbooks onto the shelves once he got the lock undone, relieving some weight from his bag. “Why? Are we going to a café?”
“Mm-hmm.” Joshua waited for Neku to slip on his jacket and headphones before starting down the hallway. “Oh, and on our way out, tell me if you see any of the other council members. I’m not the mood and don’t have the energy to come up with an excuse for them right now.”
“Fine, fine. I’ll help you play hooky.” It had to be what Shiki and Eri were talking about that made him feel stupidly pleased at the fact Joshua was skipping out on duties for him. When had he ever cared about that kind of thing before?
Luckily, they weren’t detained during their escape from campus, and fell into easy small talk after a block or two, which eventually devolved into mutual complaining. Joshua was surprisingly easy to vent to, likely because whether the snide comments he slipped in were directed at the object of Neku’s ire, or at Neku himself, they were always a good distraction.
“You know, I rather envy you for not being involved in anything like that,” Joshua mentioned, shifting the topic over from Neku grumbling about how he wouldn’t join art club because they never varied mediums or topics enough to be interesting. “It’s takes up far too much of your time.”
“Hey, if you hate student council so much, why don’t you quit?” That had been bothering him for a while, why the other ran for the position in the first place if it was so obvious he didn’t want to be a part of it.
“It’s not so simple.” Something in Joshua’s expression soured, subtly, a slight tightening in the set of his jaw, gaze cast to the side. “My parents want me to be in it. I need to uphold a certain standard, apparently.”
“A standard?”
“Never mind.” He gave a quick shake of his head, hair swinging in front of his face with the movement. Pausing, he brushed it out of the way with a distracted sweep of his hand before sidestepping around Neku to head towards one of the shops lining the street, a sign reading WildKat hanging above its entrance. “Anyway, here we are.”
Still preoccupied with trying to unravel what Joshua had meant, Neku trailed after the other into the café wordlessly, distantly noting the sound of a bell chiming as the door swung inwards.
“Well, well, look who finally decided to pay me a visit.”
“I’ve been busy. And there’s no rule against you coming to see me.” Joshua made a beeline for the bar, resting his elbows on it in order to address the man working behind the counter more easily. Baffled by the familiarity, Neku wandered over, choosing to stand self-consciously next to one of the stools, unsure if he should sit down if Joshua wasn’t. “By the way, this is Neku, a friend from school. Neku, this is Sanae Hanekoma, my godfather.”
“Uh. Nice to meet you.” Neku fiddled with the strap of his bag, thinking the distance over the counter was a little too large for a comfortable handshake.
“Same here.” Even behind the dark lens of Hanekoma’s sunglasses—who the hell wore those indoors, anyway?—Neku got the distinct impression he was being scrutinized, instantly evaluated from head to toe. “So, what’ll it be?”
“I’ll have my usual,” Joshua said, airily, tapping the fingers of one hand against the wood of the bar in an ordered, repeating rhythm, as if on piano keys.
“Just regular coffee and cream for me.” Neku watched him, trying to piece together what song it might be, what melody was playing in the other’s head, but ultimately failing.
“Y’know, it’s rare Josh brings other people by,” Hanekoma mentioned as he started making their drinks. “Blink twice if you’re here against your will.”
“That’s not funny.” Joshua rolled his eyes. “It’s actually a little insulting you think I’d resort to blackmail.”
“Maybe not blackmail, but you could’ve promised to write an essay for him or somethin’.”
“History notes,” Neku interjected, grinning when Hanekoma stated laughing and Joshua all but glowered at him. “What? It’s true.”
“You’re not helping.” He sighed, petulant and sulking now that he failed to get back the upper hand, until a pale blue mug was placed in front of him, caramel swirled on top of the foam. Hanekoma slid a similar mug, in pine green, over to Neku, steam rising up from the coffee’s surface in gentle curls. Picking up his drink, Joshua stepped away from the bar, motioning for Neku to follow him as he moved towards a door at the rear of the café. “We’ll be in the back room.”
“Sure thing, J. Don’t break anything.” Hanekoma waved them off, smile equal parts enigmatic and pleased as he watched them leave the main part of the cafe, before turning back to tinkering with the espresso machine.
The room Joshua had led Neku to was small, barely leaving enough distance between the furniture to maneuver around comfortably. But despite the limited space, it felt cozy rather than cramped, the chairs scattered about plush and inviting. Neku placed his cup on the low table in the middle so it wouldn’t spill, and slipped his bag off his shoulder, flopping back onto a seat with a heavy sigh.
“This is pretty cool.”
“Good you think so.” Joshua had pulled out his phone, index finger sweeping down the touch screen as he scrolled along with whatever he was reading. “This used to be a storage closet. When I was younger and came to the café, I’d hide out here, and eventually Sanae decided to make it comfortable if he wasn’t going to use it for anything else.”
“So…this is your secret clubhouse or something?” Neku reached out for his mug, blowing lightly over the surface before having a cursory taste. When it didn’t burn his tongue and wasn’t overly bitter, he had another.
“If you want to make a ‘no girls allowed’ sign and stick it on the door, I’m not going to stop you.” Joshua’s eyes flicked up, meeting Neku’s gaze for just a second, the corner of his mouth curled up in a smirk. “Could build a pillow fort while you’re at it.”
“Not enough blankets or cushions.” Snorting derisively, he put his feet up on the table, ignoring the other’s subsequent frown. “So your godfather’s…interesting.”
“Oh, yes. He’s certainly that.” Joshua finally set his phone aside in order to pick up his drink, both hands wrapping around the mug. “You’d get along with him, though. He’s an artist like you.”
“Seriously?”
“Completely.” He nodded, taking a long sip of coffee, lips lingering on the rim of the cup. “Some of his works are out in the main part of the café. Sanae likes to keep a low profile, for whatever reason, but he’s very good.”
“Huh.” Neku tipped his head back, staring at the ceiling while his thoughts flickered from that newest tidbit, to how being allowed in the back room felt incredibly personal, to what Hanekoma said about Joshua never bringing anyone else by, to the incredulous looks from all their classmates. “Hey, Josh?”
“Mm?”
“Did you know people are talking about us? Like, how it’s funny we’re friends.” He tried to flatten his tone into something casual, indifferent, but it came out edged in anxiousness. “It’s not that weird, is it?”
“I’ve heard a little here and there,” Joshua replied, looking contemplatively into his mug. “And it’s…well. I haven’t really spent time around someone like I have with you.”
“Yeah, I—uh, there was something about that, too.” It was stupid, he reminded himself, completely and utterly ridiculous that he was this concerned over the reasoning behind their friendship. But the words came out before he could rein them in entirely. “Everyone’s wondering what I did different, I guess. I didn’t know what to tell them.”
“You didn’t do anything.” Resting his drink on the table to free his hands, Joshua curled the fingers of one tightly into the tips of his hair, head minutely tipped down towards the floor. Something about the gesture, subtle and understated as it was, made a heavy, sour, disconcerted feeling settle in Neku’s chest, something about the brief instance of vulnerability flickering across the other’s features. But before he could act on it, Joshua continued speaking. “That’s the point. With everyone else it’s…they don’t want to get to know me. Not really. They have some ideal in mind before they even speak to me, and I don’t want to deal with that. You, though, obviously didn’t have an agenda concerning me. So I gave you a chance.”
“…are you glad you did?” Neku wished he could grab the all hesitance and insecurity right out of his tone, but he could no longer maintain it was a mutual way alleviate boredom, and the loss would be more than entertainment value.
“I let you into my super secret hideout,” Joshua teased, giggling when he pushed his foot firmly against Neku’s calves to knock his legs off the table. All worry evaporated before his shoes even hit the floor. “So what do you think?”
“I think you need to skip out on clubs more often.”
“I will. If you take the blame for my delinquency.” A small price to pay for more of this, for more talks over coffee in warm, private rooms. For more of Joshua.
“Deal.”
A/N: The title comes from the song “Dead on Arrival” by Fall Out Boy. The music Joshua is playing is from here.