Found Out In-Between Sheets
Title: Found Out In-Between Sheets [1/1]
Author: Melly
Rating: MA/NC-17
Characters/Pairings: Joshua/Neku
Spoilers: None, it’s an AU
Warnings: Language, sexual situations
Summary: High School AU. Neku wants to talk. Not much talking gets done.
A/N: Whew. Sorry this took a little bit. Strangely I had this half finished for a long time, but then never found that last bit of inspiration until break. But, here you go! Chronologically, this is third in the series. Enjoy!
Neku S. (donttouchthephones) started chatting with Joshua K. (pianissimo)
6:02pm
Neku says
hey
what’s up?
6:43pm
Joshua says
Sorry, I was at dinner
Not much, to be honest
Neku says
haven’t seen you @ school much
except for class
Joshua says
I’ve been at student council on top of more piano practice
There’s a concert in a week or so
Why they decided to have one just after break is beyond me
Neku says
why do you even need to practice?
don’t you always brag about being a prodigy?
Joshua says
Even Mozart would lose his touch if he didn’t keep at it
Speaking of the concert, would you like to come?
You didn’t really get to attend any of my performances last year
You can invite your friends, too
Neku says
sure
i’ll be there
dunno about shiki and eri and beat til I ask tho
but it’ll be cool to hear you play in a concert instead of just practicing
Joshua says
I’ll give you some of the announcement cards for it tomorrow
That will have the time and date and such
Neku says
okay
have you started that lit essay yet?
Joshua says
Yes, I’m nearly done
Just need to write the conclusion
I take it you haven’t even cracked the book yet
Neku says
you’re done???
i hate you sometimes
and i’ve read the book
Joshua says
It’s only four pages, Neku
I’m sure you’ll survive
Neku says
easy for you to say
Joshua says
Regardless, I think I should leave you to it
I wanted to finish watching that series I started the other day
So I’ll talk to you later
Neku says
wait
Joshua says
??
Neku says
do you wanna hang out tomorrow?
since we haven’t for a while
Joshua says
Been feeling lonely without me?
Neku says not a chance
i just felt like doing something
and i kinda want to tell you something too
so it works out
Joshua says
Something you can’t talk to me about now?
Neku says
idk it’s just easier in person and stuff
so do you want to or not?
Joshua says
I think I can get out of practice early
So sure
Neku says
cool
i’ll meet you in the hall outside the music rooms
Joshua says
All right, it’s a date~
I’ll see you in class
Have a good night, Neku
Neku says
yeah you too
later
Joshua has gone offline
*****
Joshua set a small stack of cards on his desk at the beginning of literature, saying they were for his concert, before swiveling back around in his seat as class started. The paper stock was thick, in pale blue, with fancy, looping script printed across it stating the occasion, date, and time. Neku slipped them into his pocket where they felt unnaturally warm and obtrusive against his leg for the rest of the day. The interaction, as brief and ordinary as it was, did nothing but worsen Neku’s anxiety about what he was going to do—confess—later on. Optimism had never been his strong suit, so by the time the dismissal bell rang, he was convinced that the best-case scenario was one where he didn’t lose it completely when Joshua laughed derisively in his face.
“Neku?” He felt a gentle tap on his shoulder and raised his head off his desk enough to peer at whoever wanted his attention. Unsurprisingly, it was Shiki. She’d been shooting him concerned looks since lunch. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah. Fine. Just tired.” Neku tried to wave her off, but Shiki’s lips just pressed into a thin, dour line. She wasn’t buying it.
“You’ve been all…fidgety. It’s not like you.”
“Today’s been extra boring?” He laughed, hoping it wasn’t too noticeably hollow or flat and that Shiki would start smiling along with him and make a quip about their physics teacher’s monotone. Her expression didn’t ease, however, frown deepening out of worry, but before she could say anything further, Eri popped up behind her and tugged at her arm.
“Shiki! You said it would just be a second!” She finished tapping something onto her phone with her other hand, before flashing a smile. “Oh, hey, Neku. You wanna come with us to the movies? Promise we’re not going to watch anything too boring for you.”
“It might help you relax,” Shiki added, imploringly.
“Nah, I have plans with Josh already.” Neku shook his head, leaning back against his seat. The shift caused something to jab into his hip, and the announcement cards swung to the forefront of his mind again. “Oh. Here.”
“What’s this?” Shiki turned the paper over delicately once Neku fished the invitations out of his pocket and handed them out.
“S’for Josh’s concert. He wanted me to come and said to bring you guys along too, if you were interested.”
“Ooh, seriously? It’s not every day you hear a so-called musical prodigy play.” Eri slipped the card carefully into her purse with a grin. “Count me in.”
“Me too.” With a slight nod, Shiki did the same, giving Neku one last, searching look as she zipped up the side compartment of her bag. “You’re sure nothing’s the matter?”
“Yeah. Don’t worry, Shiki. Could you do me a favor and take an extra invite for Beat, though? You’ll see him in class tomorrow before I will.”
“No problem.” She took the extra card Neku offered, finally turning away when Eri pointed out they were going to be late for the showing time they wanted. “I’ll see you later, Neku. Take a break tonight, okay?”
His only response was to return her and Eri’s cheery wave, deciding that, once the two of them were out of sight, delaying the inevitable by sulking around in the classroom wasn’t going to do any good. He slung his bag over one shoulder and slipped his headphones on, picking a song with oppressive, distracting base, and cranked up the volume.
The halls were nearly empty, most students already in clubs, headed home, or out with friends, and Neku was sure if he plunked himself down right next to the music room doors, he wouldn’t be disturbed. He knew from experience he couldn’t go in to watch Joshua practice, since the first time he tried, the piano teacher had muttered something about being a distraction and spoiling talent until Neku had finally taken the hint and shuffled out of the room. He settled for waiting outside after that, but he could always hear the faint notes of a song, or light, varied warm up melodies if he listened close enough. Most days, that was nice, reassuring, and sometimes Neku let himself pretend for a second or two that Joshua was playing just for him.
This time, he didn’t take his headphones off. He didn’t want to hear anything but the hard guitar and forceful vocals blasting through his speakers, far removed from the music that reminded him of Joshua, of his elegant fingers and the sweep of his hair over his neck. His mind had been wandering into increasingly dangerous territory, as if finally brushing away the last of the denial broke a dam of repressed thoughts in the process. He kept jumping back to the day at the pool, to Joshua sitting at the edge and picturing what it would be like to bite and suck at the soft, sensitive skin over his stomach until he threw his head back and moaned.
Neku’s head felt like static, too busy and full of blips and half-formed musings and images, a whir of wondering what he was going to say that didn’t sound unbearably pathetic and cheesy to even his own ears. He never would have said a word had he realized sooner all his bravado was, in reality, nothing but paper-thin desperation.
He was in the middle of planning his escape—slipping away and making up some excuse about how Shiki and Eri dragged him off to the movies and he couldn’t say no—when a slight rush of air swept by him as the door to the music rooms opened, and Joshua was peering down at him with one eyebrow raised. Nowhere to run now.
“What in the world are you doing sitting on the floor?”
“Waiting for you.” Neku attempted a nonchalant shrug as he pressed pause on his mp3 player, slipping his headphones off so they rested around his neck. “Was practice okay?”
“It was practice.” Joshua sighed, expression still a mix of baffled and curious as Neku stood. “Putting the final touches on my composition for the concert and such.”
“You mean you’re playing something you wrote?” He paused halfway through starching and working out the kinks in his legs to stare over at Joshua, more than a little impressed. Neku knew the other wrote music, since he’d seen the sketched lines and notes doodled in the margins of Joshua’s papers sometimes, but he didn’t realize they might have been pieces for actual songs.
“Yes. I’ve been working on it for a while, and my teacher seems to like it.” He adjusted the books he had tucked under one arm before gesturing down the hall with his other hand. “Do you mind if we stop by my locker before heading out? I don’t need any of this, and I don’t want to be lugging it around for the rest of the day.”
“Oh, yeah, sure.” Neku followed after him as he started walking, shoes making soft clicks against the tile in the silence of the near-empty building. He was quiet until they reached Joshua’s locker, and the other began setting his books neatly inside the shelves. “So, have anything in mind for where you wanna go?”
“After you’re the one who invited me out?” Joshua gave him an unimpressed, sidelong glance as he grabbed a folder and slipped it into his bag before closing the door and snapping the lock shut. It struck Neku then how easy it would be to just let things go on as they had been, to hang out as usual, to play off what he had planned to say as some meaningless, trivial thing. But Joshua had turned around by that point, looking squarely at Neku with a slight, thoughtful tilt to his head that caused a stray bit of hair to curl over his cheek. Such a small, commonplace gesture shouldn’t be the cause of anything at all, but Neku suddenly felt a tendril of impulsiveness mixed in with a burst of affection, and he was only half-listening to what the other was saying. “I keep hearing about this new tea shop, and I’m not really a fan, but apparently, they make good hot chocolate too. It seems like the kind of place we could talk easily. Didn’t you say you had something to tell me?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I—” Before his thoughts fully caught up with him, Neku’s hands hit the cold metal of the lockers on either side of Joshua’s arms, caging him in. He hesitated once more, inhaling sharply and thinking that saying something, anything, would be the better idea, but Joshua was so pretty, so magnetic, so close. Neku only kept moving, surging forward to catch the other’s mouth in a kiss.
He felt Joshua stiffen almost instantly, the action seemingly leaving no room for expectations beyond the fleeting sensation of warmth and impossibly soft lips against his own, and Neku was about to pull away to stutter out some thin, feeble apology when fingers gently curled into the upper sleeve of his uniform. The grip grew firmer after another moment, actively tugging him nearer, and Neku didn’t know how to react to the change, to Joshua breathing out a short, quiet sigh and relaxing. Was it out of true reciprocation? Out of pity? Or was it out of Joshua’s stupid, frustrating aversion to boredom and this was convenient entertainment?
Despite that uncertainty, Neku was finding it increasingly difficult to keep his mind from sinking deeper into a heady, pleasured haze. Did it really matter when he was getting something straight from his daydreams? Did it really matter when Joshua was kissing him back, running his tongue along Neku’s lips before slipping it past his teeth? Did it really matter—?
A second later and Joshua pulled back, just enough to speak, still so close Neku could see how pale Joshua’s eyelashes really were, nearly translucent under the florescent lights. Their collective breathing sounded almost too loud to Neku, even over the hard thud of his heartbeat in his own ears.
“We’ll get caught if we stay here,” Joshua said, and Neku was made acutely aware of their surroundings, the familiar halls and one of the locker hinges digging into the palm of his hand. He nodded, not sure if he was agreeing to the other’s statement or the suggestion layered underneath, but he was already being tugged along, around the corner and down another corridor, mind clearing enough that the question of why began floating around again. But Joshua pulled him into an empty classroom, golden afternoon sun peeking through the gaps in the shutters, before those thoughts formed into anything Neku could voice properly.
“Josh—”
“It’s fine. No one comes back here at this time of day.” There was the dull sound of Joshua’s bag hitting the floor, and he leaned up to kiss Neku’s bottom lip, sucking on it gently before pulling back again. “Set all your stuff down.”
The gesture was so unexpected, so completely beyond what Neku had even imagined, that he did exactly as told, dropping his backpack down beside Joshua’s and placing his headphones carefully on top of the pile. His balance was a little off as he stepped forward, and he caught himself on the closest desk with one hand as he reached out to tug the other with him. Joshua only laughed against his mouth as they met for another kiss, fingertips slipping under the hem of Neku’s shirt. The touch was nearly burning, leaving trails tingling heat in the wake of Joshua’s palms moving up his torso. Neku didn’t know what to do with his own hands, keeping one hovering uselessly in the air, too caught up in the way their tongues were sliding together to do much more until he had to break for air. His eyes were drawn from the other’s kiss-swollen lips to the line of his neck, all the way down to where it disappeared under his collar. He’d stared before, in class when he was sure Joshua wasn’t looking, and he tipped his head forward to do exactly what he’d pictured a dozen times or more, pressing soft, wet kisses along the column of Joshua’s throat. He heard the other let out a sigh, the sound of it rising up into a quiet moan when Neku added suction.
The noise, as small as it was, only spurred him on further to start loosening Joshua’s tie and picking apart the buttons of his shirt, lips trailing lower as more skin was revealed. Neku shuddered at the feeling of nails digging into the small of his back, but he took that as encouragement, and nipped at the bit of collarbone he had just moved over. His hands, having finally settled against the other’s hips for a short while, traveled down, along the outer line of Joshua’s ass and thighs, pressing through the fabric of his slacks occasionally to get a hint of the smooth, pliant skin underneath. The touch elicited a shiver from Joshua, along with a muffled, hitched gasp, which sent sparks of heat straight down to Neku’s cock. Experimentally, he tightened his grip, earning a low, heavy moan from the squeeze.
He allowed himself a bit of a smile as he tucked away the knowledge that Joshua had sensitive thighs, possibly for next time, before the question of whether there would even be a next time cut through the pleasurable fog shrouding his mind. The thought was almost enough for him to start pulling away, but Joshua had already undone the button of his pants and tugged down the zipper. Having zero time to brace himself for it, Neku froze when the other’s hand first slipped into his boxers, but once he felt warm, sure fingers curl around his length, all tension left him in a long, shuddering exhale. Joshua started stroking him slowly, as if to ease into it, but soon his movements turned firmer, quicker, and—shit, oh shit that was better than anything conjured up in a daydreams.
“Neku. Come on.” He could feel the breath of Joshua’s words against his neck, followed by a poignant nip right above his collar. He wasn’t entirely sure what was being asked of him, not until his wrist was grabbed and guided over so his palm pressed right against the other’s crotch.
It was admittedly hard for Neku to focus through the shivers of pleasure trailing up his spine, made worse by the fact Joshua had started kissing and sucking at his throat. He fumbled blindly with the button, trying not to glance down because he was sure if he got a look at Joshua’s elegant, slender pianist’s fingers wrapped around his cock, he’d come right there. Eventually, he popped it open and pulled the zipper down, faltering only once before sliding his hand beneath the elastic of the other’s underwear. He tried to match what Joshua was doing to him, tried to discern what he’d like the best, what would get him shuddering and gasping. Sliding his thumb in a circle over the tip caused Joshua to moan and his hips to twitch, which gave Neku enough confidence that his strokes turned steady and more rhythmic.
Every touch, every move, seemed to pull something out of him, some reaction or noise, or even just building up the pleasure and exhilaration until his breath was coming in pants. Joshua was still lavishing attention on his neck, some spots already stinging from bites and hard suction, but Neku only gave encouragement, reaching up to run his fingers through the other’s hair. Joshua seemed to like the action, if the way he seemed to melt, entire body going lax for just a beat, was any indication. He let out a breathy, quivering moan, and Neku shifted closer for a kiss, missing to the side a bit out of eagerness. He tilted his head enough that their lips met correctly, harder and more desperate than before. Joshua’s grip tightened and Neku jerked forward at the ensuing jolt of pleasure, forcing him to set his free hand on the desk behind him for balance.
It was hard to breathe, but he didn’t want to move away a centimeter further than he had to, so he settled for long, deep kisses interspersed with shorter breaks for air, like diving underwater and coming back to the surface. Joshua fell into the pattern quickly, but sometimes slid their mouths together again before Neku fully caught his breath. He hardly minded though, especially when Joshua pushed forward, the warmth from his body mixing with the heat Neku felt pulsing through him. Joshua’s hand came to rest over the one Neku had on the desk, the pressure enough to be felt but not enough to hurt. He didn’t know if that was out of design or accident, but either way, it made him shiver pleasurably, tipping closer to the edge of his stamina.
He bucked his hips, fervent and hurried, trying to get just a little more friction out of each stroke. Every sensation was dizzying, too much for him to focus on just one, escalating until Neku tensed, all the way down to his toes and came with a broken, hitched moan. A bit too sated in the aftermath, it took a few seconds and an impatient noise from Joshua before Neku was drawn back to the present. Immediately, he inclined his head down to press their lips together, almost apologetic, and started to pump his hand quicker, twisting his wrist in the same motion. He felt Joshua sigh more than heard it, felt him add a hint of teeth into the kiss, felt his breathing catch. The other’s fingers tightening around his own, nails digging into the wood of the desk, was the only warning he got before Joshua came, quivering, any noise he made muffled against Neku’s mouth.
His heart was still pounding, even after Joshua had pulled away completely, leaving Neku’s skin strangely chilled in the absence of body heat. He followed the other’s movements around the classroom, towards the counter at the back where he grabbed a box of tissues.
“Here.” He set them within Neku’s reach after taking a few for himself, beginning to clean up the mess on his hand.
“Thanks." After doing the same and zipping his pants back up, he chanced a glance over at Joshua, wondering if he should be on his way out or not. Besides the light, residual pleasured flush and obviously bruised lips, he was acting like nothing had happened at all. Never had Neku been more frustrated over Joshua’s inscrutable air than he was at that moment, but before he could express that, he was interrupted.
“This was what you wanted to talk to me about, right?” He tossed his used tissues in a nearby trashcan before peering at Neku over his shoulder.
“What?”
“This.” He gestured between them as if that would elucidate his point. “I’m not stupid, Neku. I’ve noticed you staring.”
“I—” A hot, bright blush crept up his face, and there was no way he could play that off. He was caught. “Yeah, so?”
“It’s been happening for a little while.” Joshua shrugged. “Eventually I assumed…well, you want me, don’t you?”
Neku blinked, his knee-jerk reaction was to demand what the other had first assumed, but what followed gave him pause. Was it as simple as that? He hadn’t even been sure what he’d been out to confess, beyond that he couldn’t stop thinking about Joshua and it was driving him crazy.
“I think so. Maybe.” He dropped his gaze to the floor, one hand coming up to touch the air beside his ear uselessly. His headphones lay across the room, so he’d have to do without the security they provided. “But I don’t—I didn’t want it to make a mess of everything. We can, uh, ignore this.”
“Ignore this? Why? It doesn’t necessarily have to make a mess, as you put it. There’s always friends with benefits.” The suggestion, coming from Joshua, was bewildering and ridiculous enough that Neku could only gape at him, trying to pick out any hint of teasing from the other’s features. When a few more seconds had passed and he still hadn’t said anything in response, Joshua decided to add, “you know, fuck buddies.”
“I know what you meant! I just didn’t think—” Neku huffed, ducking his head down further. “You don’t seem like someone who’s up for that.”
“I’m not, really.” Fiddling with a lock of his hair, Joshua bent down enough to peer at Neku’s face, thoughtfully. “Perhaps you’re just the exception.”
“Seriously?” He wasn’t sure if he should find that flattering or worrisome, but the offer was tempting enough to bypass most concerns. It could be that if he simply lived out a fantasy or two all his problems would be solved. He didn’t have to confess anything this way, put anything into words. It could work. He hoped. “…okay. We could try. I guess.”
“Try?” Joshua straightened, still looking a bit contemplative, but eventually, he offered a slight, fleeting smile. “If you say so.”
“So what now?” How did this sort of thing even work? How would things change—a beeping sounded from the pocket of Joshua’s slacks, disturbing Neku’s thoughts, and he pulled out his cell phone, peering at the screen with exasperation.
“Now, I have to go home.” He stepped back, towards their things sitting by the door. “We can talk later, though. Tomorrow, if you’re free.”
“Yeah, sure. Tomorrow.” Neku nodded, watching the other pick up his bag and sling it over his shoulder. Joshua paused in the doorway, giving him a small wave and another smile, wider this time, before disappearing down the hallway.
Strangely, Neku didn’t feel as if the weight that had been on his shoulders for the past weeks had been lifted at all. Maybe it had just been replaced by something equally as heavy.
A/N: Title comes from the song “It’s Not a Side Effect of the Cocaine, I’m Thinking it Must be Love” by Fall Out Boy.
Author: Melly
Rating: MA/NC-17
Characters/Pairings: Joshua/Neku
Spoilers: None, it’s an AU
Warnings: Language, sexual situations
Summary: High School AU. Neku wants to talk. Not much talking gets done.
A/N: Whew. Sorry this took a little bit. Strangely I had this half finished for a long time, but then never found that last bit of inspiration until break. But, here you go! Chronologically, this is third in the series. Enjoy!
Neku S. (donttouchthephones) started chatting with Joshua K. (pianissimo)
Neku says
hey
what’s up?
Joshua says
Sorry, I was at dinner
Not much, to be honest
Neku says
haven’t seen you @ school much
except for class
Joshua says
I’ve been at student council on top of more piano practice
There’s a concert in a week or so
Why they decided to have one just after break is beyond me
Neku says
why do you even need to practice?
don’t you always brag about being a prodigy?
Joshua says
Even Mozart would lose his touch if he didn’t keep at it
Speaking of the concert, would you like to come?
You didn’t really get to attend any of my performances last year
You can invite your friends, too
Neku says
sure
i’ll be there
dunno about shiki and eri and beat til I ask tho
but it’ll be cool to hear you play in a concert instead of just practicing
Joshua says
I’ll give you some of the announcement cards for it tomorrow
That will have the time and date and such
Neku says
okay
have you started that lit essay yet?
Joshua says
Yes, I’m nearly done
Just need to write the conclusion
I take it you haven’t even cracked the book yet
Neku says
you’re done???
i hate you sometimes
and i’ve read the book
Joshua says
It’s only four pages, Neku
I’m sure you’ll survive
Neku says
easy for you to say
Joshua says
Regardless, I think I should leave you to it
I wanted to finish watching that series I started the other day
So I’ll talk to you later
Neku says
wait
Joshua says
??
Neku says
do you wanna hang out tomorrow?
since we haven’t for a while
Joshua says
Been feeling lonely without me?
Neku says not a chance
i just felt like doing something
and i kinda want to tell you something too
so it works out
Joshua says
Something you can’t talk to me about now?
Neku says
idk it’s just easier in person and stuff
so do you want to or not?
Joshua says
I think I can get out of practice early
So sure
Neku says
cool
i’ll meet you in the hall outside the music rooms
Joshua says
All right, it’s a date~
I’ll see you in class
Have a good night, Neku
Neku says
yeah you too
later
*****
Joshua set a small stack of cards on his desk at the beginning of literature, saying they were for his concert, before swiveling back around in his seat as class started. The paper stock was thick, in pale blue, with fancy, looping script printed across it stating the occasion, date, and time. Neku slipped them into his pocket where they felt unnaturally warm and obtrusive against his leg for the rest of the day. The interaction, as brief and ordinary as it was, did nothing but worsen Neku’s anxiety about what he was going to do—confess—later on. Optimism had never been his strong suit, so by the time the dismissal bell rang, he was convinced that the best-case scenario was one where he didn’t lose it completely when Joshua laughed derisively in his face.
“Neku?” He felt a gentle tap on his shoulder and raised his head off his desk enough to peer at whoever wanted his attention. Unsurprisingly, it was Shiki. She’d been shooting him concerned looks since lunch. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah. Fine. Just tired.” Neku tried to wave her off, but Shiki’s lips just pressed into a thin, dour line. She wasn’t buying it.
“You’ve been all…fidgety. It’s not like you.”
“Today’s been extra boring?” He laughed, hoping it wasn’t too noticeably hollow or flat and that Shiki would start smiling along with him and make a quip about their physics teacher’s monotone. Her expression didn’t ease, however, frown deepening out of worry, but before she could say anything further, Eri popped up behind her and tugged at her arm.
“Shiki! You said it would just be a second!” She finished tapping something onto her phone with her other hand, before flashing a smile. “Oh, hey, Neku. You wanna come with us to the movies? Promise we’re not going to watch anything too boring for you.”
“It might help you relax,” Shiki added, imploringly.
“Nah, I have plans with Josh already.” Neku shook his head, leaning back against his seat. The shift caused something to jab into his hip, and the announcement cards swung to the forefront of his mind again. “Oh. Here.”
“What’s this?” Shiki turned the paper over delicately once Neku fished the invitations out of his pocket and handed them out.
“S’for Josh’s concert. He wanted me to come and said to bring you guys along too, if you were interested.”
“Ooh, seriously? It’s not every day you hear a so-called musical prodigy play.” Eri slipped the card carefully into her purse with a grin. “Count me in.”
“Me too.” With a slight nod, Shiki did the same, giving Neku one last, searching look as she zipped up the side compartment of her bag. “You’re sure nothing’s the matter?”
“Yeah. Don’t worry, Shiki. Could you do me a favor and take an extra invite for Beat, though? You’ll see him in class tomorrow before I will.”
“No problem.” She took the extra card Neku offered, finally turning away when Eri pointed out they were going to be late for the showing time they wanted. “I’ll see you later, Neku. Take a break tonight, okay?”
His only response was to return her and Eri’s cheery wave, deciding that, once the two of them were out of sight, delaying the inevitable by sulking around in the classroom wasn’t going to do any good. He slung his bag over one shoulder and slipped his headphones on, picking a song with oppressive, distracting base, and cranked up the volume.
The halls were nearly empty, most students already in clubs, headed home, or out with friends, and Neku was sure if he plunked himself down right next to the music room doors, he wouldn’t be disturbed. He knew from experience he couldn’t go in to watch Joshua practice, since the first time he tried, the piano teacher had muttered something about being a distraction and spoiling talent until Neku had finally taken the hint and shuffled out of the room. He settled for waiting outside after that, but he could always hear the faint notes of a song, or light, varied warm up melodies if he listened close enough. Most days, that was nice, reassuring, and sometimes Neku let himself pretend for a second or two that Joshua was playing just for him.
This time, he didn’t take his headphones off. He didn’t want to hear anything but the hard guitar and forceful vocals blasting through his speakers, far removed from the music that reminded him of Joshua, of his elegant fingers and the sweep of his hair over his neck. His mind had been wandering into increasingly dangerous territory, as if finally brushing away the last of the denial broke a dam of repressed thoughts in the process. He kept jumping back to the day at the pool, to Joshua sitting at the edge and picturing what it would be like to bite and suck at the soft, sensitive skin over his stomach until he threw his head back and moaned.
Neku’s head felt like static, too busy and full of blips and half-formed musings and images, a whir of wondering what he was going to say that didn’t sound unbearably pathetic and cheesy to even his own ears. He never would have said a word had he realized sooner all his bravado was, in reality, nothing but paper-thin desperation.
He was in the middle of planning his escape—slipping away and making up some excuse about how Shiki and Eri dragged him off to the movies and he couldn’t say no—when a slight rush of air swept by him as the door to the music rooms opened, and Joshua was peering down at him with one eyebrow raised. Nowhere to run now.
“What in the world are you doing sitting on the floor?”
“Waiting for you.” Neku attempted a nonchalant shrug as he pressed pause on his mp3 player, slipping his headphones off so they rested around his neck. “Was practice okay?”
“It was practice.” Joshua sighed, expression still a mix of baffled and curious as Neku stood. “Putting the final touches on my composition for the concert and such.”
“You mean you’re playing something you wrote?” He paused halfway through starching and working out the kinks in his legs to stare over at Joshua, more than a little impressed. Neku knew the other wrote music, since he’d seen the sketched lines and notes doodled in the margins of Joshua’s papers sometimes, but he didn’t realize they might have been pieces for actual songs.
“Yes. I’ve been working on it for a while, and my teacher seems to like it.” He adjusted the books he had tucked under one arm before gesturing down the hall with his other hand. “Do you mind if we stop by my locker before heading out? I don’t need any of this, and I don’t want to be lugging it around for the rest of the day.”
“Oh, yeah, sure.” Neku followed after him as he started walking, shoes making soft clicks against the tile in the silence of the near-empty building. He was quiet until they reached Joshua’s locker, and the other began setting his books neatly inside the shelves. “So, have anything in mind for where you wanna go?”
“After you’re the one who invited me out?” Joshua gave him an unimpressed, sidelong glance as he grabbed a folder and slipped it into his bag before closing the door and snapping the lock shut. It struck Neku then how easy it would be to just let things go on as they had been, to hang out as usual, to play off what he had planned to say as some meaningless, trivial thing. But Joshua had turned around by that point, looking squarely at Neku with a slight, thoughtful tilt to his head that caused a stray bit of hair to curl over his cheek. Such a small, commonplace gesture shouldn’t be the cause of anything at all, but Neku suddenly felt a tendril of impulsiveness mixed in with a burst of affection, and he was only half-listening to what the other was saying. “I keep hearing about this new tea shop, and I’m not really a fan, but apparently, they make good hot chocolate too. It seems like the kind of place we could talk easily. Didn’t you say you had something to tell me?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I—” Before his thoughts fully caught up with him, Neku’s hands hit the cold metal of the lockers on either side of Joshua’s arms, caging him in. He hesitated once more, inhaling sharply and thinking that saying something, anything, would be the better idea, but Joshua was so pretty, so magnetic, so close. Neku only kept moving, surging forward to catch the other’s mouth in a kiss.
He felt Joshua stiffen almost instantly, the action seemingly leaving no room for expectations beyond the fleeting sensation of warmth and impossibly soft lips against his own, and Neku was about to pull away to stutter out some thin, feeble apology when fingers gently curled into the upper sleeve of his uniform. The grip grew firmer after another moment, actively tugging him nearer, and Neku didn’t know how to react to the change, to Joshua breathing out a short, quiet sigh and relaxing. Was it out of true reciprocation? Out of pity? Or was it out of Joshua’s stupid, frustrating aversion to boredom and this was convenient entertainment?
Despite that uncertainty, Neku was finding it increasingly difficult to keep his mind from sinking deeper into a heady, pleasured haze. Did it really matter when he was getting something straight from his daydreams? Did it really matter when Joshua was kissing him back, running his tongue along Neku’s lips before slipping it past his teeth? Did it really matter—?
A second later and Joshua pulled back, just enough to speak, still so close Neku could see how pale Joshua’s eyelashes really were, nearly translucent under the florescent lights. Their collective breathing sounded almost too loud to Neku, even over the hard thud of his heartbeat in his own ears.
“We’ll get caught if we stay here,” Joshua said, and Neku was made acutely aware of their surroundings, the familiar halls and one of the locker hinges digging into the palm of his hand. He nodded, not sure if he was agreeing to the other’s statement or the suggestion layered underneath, but he was already being tugged along, around the corner and down another corridor, mind clearing enough that the question of why began floating around again. But Joshua pulled him into an empty classroom, golden afternoon sun peeking through the gaps in the shutters, before those thoughts formed into anything Neku could voice properly.
“Josh—”
“It’s fine. No one comes back here at this time of day.” There was the dull sound of Joshua’s bag hitting the floor, and he leaned up to kiss Neku’s bottom lip, sucking on it gently before pulling back again. “Set all your stuff down.”
The gesture was so unexpected, so completely beyond what Neku had even imagined, that he did exactly as told, dropping his backpack down beside Joshua’s and placing his headphones carefully on top of the pile. His balance was a little off as he stepped forward, and he caught himself on the closest desk with one hand as he reached out to tug the other with him. Joshua only laughed against his mouth as they met for another kiss, fingertips slipping under the hem of Neku’s shirt. The touch was nearly burning, leaving trails tingling heat in the wake of Joshua’s palms moving up his torso. Neku didn’t know what to do with his own hands, keeping one hovering uselessly in the air, too caught up in the way their tongues were sliding together to do much more until he had to break for air. His eyes were drawn from the other’s kiss-swollen lips to the line of his neck, all the way down to where it disappeared under his collar. He’d stared before, in class when he was sure Joshua wasn’t looking, and he tipped his head forward to do exactly what he’d pictured a dozen times or more, pressing soft, wet kisses along the column of Joshua’s throat. He heard the other let out a sigh, the sound of it rising up into a quiet moan when Neku added suction.
The noise, as small as it was, only spurred him on further to start loosening Joshua’s tie and picking apart the buttons of his shirt, lips trailing lower as more skin was revealed. Neku shuddered at the feeling of nails digging into the small of his back, but he took that as encouragement, and nipped at the bit of collarbone he had just moved over. His hands, having finally settled against the other’s hips for a short while, traveled down, along the outer line of Joshua’s ass and thighs, pressing through the fabric of his slacks occasionally to get a hint of the smooth, pliant skin underneath. The touch elicited a shiver from Joshua, along with a muffled, hitched gasp, which sent sparks of heat straight down to Neku’s cock. Experimentally, he tightened his grip, earning a low, heavy moan from the squeeze.
He allowed himself a bit of a smile as he tucked away the knowledge that Joshua had sensitive thighs, possibly for next time, before the question of whether there would even be a next time cut through the pleasurable fog shrouding his mind. The thought was almost enough for him to start pulling away, but Joshua had already undone the button of his pants and tugged down the zipper. Having zero time to brace himself for it, Neku froze when the other’s hand first slipped into his boxers, but once he felt warm, sure fingers curl around his length, all tension left him in a long, shuddering exhale. Joshua started stroking him slowly, as if to ease into it, but soon his movements turned firmer, quicker, and—shit, oh shit that was better than anything conjured up in a daydreams.
“Neku. Come on.” He could feel the breath of Joshua’s words against his neck, followed by a poignant nip right above his collar. He wasn’t entirely sure what was being asked of him, not until his wrist was grabbed and guided over so his palm pressed right against the other’s crotch.
It was admittedly hard for Neku to focus through the shivers of pleasure trailing up his spine, made worse by the fact Joshua had started kissing and sucking at his throat. He fumbled blindly with the button, trying not to glance down because he was sure if he got a look at Joshua’s elegant, slender pianist’s fingers wrapped around his cock, he’d come right there. Eventually, he popped it open and pulled the zipper down, faltering only once before sliding his hand beneath the elastic of the other’s underwear. He tried to match what Joshua was doing to him, tried to discern what he’d like the best, what would get him shuddering and gasping. Sliding his thumb in a circle over the tip caused Joshua to moan and his hips to twitch, which gave Neku enough confidence that his strokes turned steady and more rhythmic.
Every touch, every move, seemed to pull something out of him, some reaction or noise, or even just building up the pleasure and exhilaration until his breath was coming in pants. Joshua was still lavishing attention on his neck, some spots already stinging from bites and hard suction, but Neku only gave encouragement, reaching up to run his fingers through the other’s hair. Joshua seemed to like the action, if the way he seemed to melt, entire body going lax for just a beat, was any indication. He let out a breathy, quivering moan, and Neku shifted closer for a kiss, missing to the side a bit out of eagerness. He tilted his head enough that their lips met correctly, harder and more desperate than before. Joshua’s grip tightened and Neku jerked forward at the ensuing jolt of pleasure, forcing him to set his free hand on the desk behind him for balance.
It was hard to breathe, but he didn’t want to move away a centimeter further than he had to, so he settled for long, deep kisses interspersed with shorter breaks for air, like diving underwater and coming back to the surface. Joshua fell into the pattern quickly, but sometimes slid their mouths together again before Neku fully caught his breath. He hardly minded though, especially when Joshua pushed forward, the warmth from his body mixing with the heat Neku felt pulsing through him. Joshua’s hand came to rest over the one Neku had on the desk, the pressure enough to be felt but not enough to hurt. He didn’t know if that was out of design or accident, but either way, it made him shiver pleasurably, tipping closer to the edge of his stamina.
He bucked his hips, fervent and hurried, trying to get just a little more friction out of each stroke. Every sensation was dizzying, too much for him to focus on just one, escalating until Neku tensed, all the way down to his toes and came with a broken, hitched moan. A bit too sated in the aftermath, it took a few seconds and an impatient noise from Joshua before Neku was drawn back to the present. Immediately, he inclined his head down to press their lips together, almost apologetic, and started to pump his hand quicker, twisting his wrist in the same motion. He felt Joshua sigh more than heard it, felt him add a hint of teeth into the kiss, felt his breathing catch. The other’s fingers tightening around his own, nails digging into the wood of the desk, was the only warning he got before Joshua came, quivering, any noise he made muffled against Neku’s mouth.
His heart was still pounding, even after Joshua had pulled away completely, leaving Neku’s skin strangely chilled in the absence of body heat. He followed the other’s movements around the classroom, towards the counter at the back where he grabbed a box of tissues.
“Here.” He set them within Neku’s reach after taking a few for himself, beginning to clean up the mess on his hand.
“Thanks." After doing the same and zipping his pants back up, he chanced a glance over at Joshua, wondering if he should be on his way out or not. Besides the light, residual pleasured flush and obviously bruised lips, he was acting like nothing had happened at all. Never had Neku been more frustrated over Joshua’s inscrutable air than he was at that moment, but before he could express that, he was interrupted.
“This was what you wanted to talk to me about, right?” He tossed his used tissues in a nearby trashcan before peering at Neku over his shoulder.
“What?”
“This.” He gestured between them as if that would elucidate his point. “I’m not stupid, Neku. I’ve noticed you staring.”
“I—” A hot, bright blush crept up his face, and there was no way he could play that off. He was caught. “Yeah, so?”
“It’s been happening for a little while.” Joshua shrugged. “Eventually I assumed…well, you want me, don’t you?”
Neku blinked, his knee-jerk reaction was to demand what the other had first assumed, but what followed gave him pause. Was it as simple as that? He hadn’t even been sure what he’d been out to confess, beyond that he couldn’t stop thinking about Joshua and it was driving him crazy.
“I think so. Maybe.” He dropped his gaze to the floor, one hand coming up to touch the air beside his ear uselessly. His headphones lay across the room, so he’d have to do without the security they provided. “But I don’t—I didn’t want it to make a mess of everything. We can, uh, ignore this.”
“Ignore this? Why? It doesn’t necessarily have to make a mess, as you put it. There’s always friends with benefits.” The suggestion, coming from Joshua, was bewildering and ridiculous enough that Neku could only gape at him, trying to pick out any hint of teasing from the other’s features. When a few more seconds had passed and he still hadn’t said anything in response, Joshua decided to add, “you know, fuck buddies.”
“I know what you meant! I just didn’t think—” Neku huffed, ducking his head down further. “You don’t seem like someone who’s up for that.”
“I’m not, really.” Fiddling with a lock of his hair, Joshua bent down enough to peer at Neku’s face, thoughtfully. “Perhaps you’re just the exception.”
“Seriously?” He wasn’t sure if he should find that flattering or worrisome, but the offer was tempting enough to bypass most concerns. It could be that if he simply lived out a fantasy or two all his problems would be solved. He didn’t have to confess anything this way, put anything into words. It could work. He hoped. “…okay. We could try. I guess.”
“Try?” Joshua straightened, still looking a bit contemplative, but eventually, he offered a slight, fleeting smile. “If you say so.”
“So what now?” How did this sort of thing even work? How would things change—a beeping sounded from the pocket of Joshua’s slacks, disturbing Neku’s thoughts, and he pulled out his cell phone, peering at the screen with exasperation.
“Now, I have to go home.” He stepped back, towards their things sitting by the door. “We can talk later, though. Tomorrow, if you’re free.”
“Yeah, sure. Tomorrow.” Neku nodded, watching the other pick up his bag and sling it over his shoulder. Joshua paused in the doorway, giving him a small wave and another smile, wider this time, before disappearing down the hallway.
Strangely, Neku didn’t feel as if the weight that had been on his shoulders for the past weeks had been lifted at all. Maybe it had just been replaced by something equally as heavy.
A/N: Title comes from the song “It’s Not a Side Effect of the Cocaine, I’m Thinking it Must be Love” by Fall Out Boy.