Priorities

the_gwenzilliad wrote a very powerful post earlier today on body image. The discussion generated from the entry was very thoughtful. Strange how our priorities can be so affected sometimes by our image of ourself.



Last week:

-I met a new group of highly-motivated, unusually literate, enthusiastic Gr. 5 students who I know will be a joy to teach this year.

-I got a letter from a student I taught eighteen years ago who told me how much my music and my encouragement of her writing influenced her life.

-I was on the front page of the Richmond Hill Liberal, highlighted by a complimentary article about my involvement with UT and filk. Many people have commented favourably about that cover spread.

-I learned that Urban Tapestry has been nominated for an Aurora Award, kind of the Canadian equivalent of a Hugo.

-I kept a promise to myself by taking four power walks of 3-4 miles each, along with other shorter walks. I'd like to improve that, but I was pleased with the accomplishment.

Tonight:

-I stepped on a Weight Watcher scale, in a week where I'd hoped to -finally- cross the 10 pound mark to learn I'd unexpectedly gained 1.8 pounds. The woman behind the counter helpfully commented that that weight gain neutralized the 1.8 pounds I'd lost the week before.

And I've been in a funk, self-incriminating ever since, spinning last week through my head in a very different way than I wrote it above, wondering if I shouldn't have eaten that bagel early in the week, if I should have had the will-power to stay away from those two celebratory slices of pizza for finishing the first week of school, if I could have walked further or faster, if I should have done weights, if I should have stayed away from a coffee and a 2-point granola bar as I ran out to school yard duty this morning, that in this light the week was not a success.

And I'm aware your priorities can spin weirdly out of tilt on such days, and these feelings, too, shall pass. But it remains strange how 1.8 pounds really can throw off your entire self-image.

Though I guess awareness of that is the first step toward laughing at it. And I did sign up for another three months at Weight Watchers tonight. And I bought two blouses and I cut up a bowl of strawberries for snacking and I prepared a lesson on the instruments of the orchestra to teach tomorrow and I wrote a long letter to my buddy, Paul Kwinn, and I'm anticipating going to dinner Thursday with Debbie and Jodi.

Really, I'm not looking for sympathy here, but I do find such mood swings interesting, nonetheless. John now knows the emotional trajectory of our Tuesday nights tend to teeter on that Weight Watcher scale... whether that's reasonable or not :).