I’m super stoked to be included on the list of Best Arthritis Blogs for 2016.  I’m even more stoked to be mentioned among many bloggers I’ve come to know as friends!  
How crazy is it to include bloggers among your friends? I will say that with those I’ve met in person, it’s a hilarious dance of I know you and you’ve read about many of my most personal feelings and experiences but we’ve never met and now here you are in person.  In other words, it’s awesome after you get over the initial weirdness. 🙂 Same thing can be said about meeting people who read your blog.  I’m really more fun on my blog. 😉

Read more and find some awesome blogs that if you’re not reading, you should be at: http://www.chronicpaindisorders.com/the-best-arthritis-blogs-for-2016/

Many many thanks to ChronicPainDisorders.com!

  NC is covered in snow right now which means that we had like 1.5 inches and completely shut down after we bought all the booze and junk food…I mean bread and milk…in the city and hunkered down for the snowpacolypse.  

I know.  I’m from here and I even know that’s bad.

I haven’t left my condo since Thursday evening.

I woke up this morning to sore wrists and just a tight body all over.  I tense when I flare, I think in large part due to the anxiety I have around flaring.  I also flare everytime the weather changes, and Mother Nature’s presence in NC lately has been bipolar at best.

I woke up, assessed how I felt and did the following: took a hot shower, did some stretching (yoga, foam roller and tennis ball for target points), and had breakfast.  I saw my car was completely iced over and went out to scrape it off so that I could drive if I needed to and to mitigate the situation in case we had additional snow.

Unfortunately, due to my flaring wrists and due to the fact that I lent out all my gloves for the Panthers game last week, I had to do with no gloves.  Which means I made 3 seperate attempts at scraping.  I’d do it until I was either too sore or too cold and go in for awhile.

God, I miss having a garage.  I feel like we should create some sort of legislation that allots for all RA patients to have a garage. I mean, politics are so stupid right now, it may actually get passed. (Yes, I went there…and won’t again…and still think I haven’t revealed my political beliefs on my blog.  My beliefs aren’t relevant here, but these days they sway toward who scares me the least. I don’t have a firm answer on that yet.)

Then I went inside and took an extra dose of Aleve, put my heated gloves on my hands,and reminisced on what it was like to not have to think about these things.

Growing up, pre spooniehood, I danced extensively.  In that phase of my life,injuries were almost revered.’She worked so hard,hurt herself, and still kept going!’  Having that said about you felt like a Medal of Honor, you were seen as legit in that world.

I remember warming up for a performance.  I had been trying for months to (on the ground) sit in a center split and put my stomach on the ground. I was so close.  So close, that as we were warming up, my coach came and helped me push down further.  

Unfortunately, when she did, she got momentum to push by digging her elbows into my inner thighs, extending my legs further back than they could go.  

I wound up having a severely pulled right leg muscle (hamstring) and was in pain/tears before I went on.  I took 4 Advil and did the performance.  I did every bit of it but during the last few minutes, I creepy smiled and cried at the same time because I was in agony.

If I figure out how to convert the VHS of that performance to upload here,  I will share. You can see that I’m smiling with tears running down my face. Awful!

It took me 3 months to get back to normal.  But it didn’t stop me from dance camp or other performances. I took no time to rest and recover.

Y’all.  That’s stupid.  Beyond stupid.  Dangerous.  The injury was bad enough that I still feel it 20 years later when I do lunges.

My point- because I do have one- living with RA teaches you true body awareness.  You don’t understand when you’re healthy what the ramifications are of not being aware and caring for your body.  Long and short term.  I seriously thought at the time ‘I took Aleve, I’ll be fine, I can’t let my group down. I can make it.’

My current self says to that: the group will live and adjust.  You do not have to make it if the only way you can is by smile/crying and Advil that really doesn’t do much for you.

I hate that only when I got this disease could I see the immediate and long term effects of not being aware of what my body needed.  I also hate that sometimes I feel like my own doctor/physical therapist/pharmacist to maintain. I know today what I needed to feel better and stay safe. I listened to my body and I responded appropriately.

 I wish my pre Spoonie self had taken better care of the body I still inhabit.  Didn’t take chances, gave it time to rest and recover.  It probably wouldn’t have made a difference in developing RA or not but at least I would’ve learned those skills in advance.

The first 2 years after diagnosis, I still had that push through mentality.  In those cases, it was almost an eff that to RA.  I’m not saying that the attitude isn’t important; my big thing for myself is to continue activities post diagnosis that I enjoyed pre.  But with any type of modification necessary to make it safe.

I’m thankful to RA for teaching me true body awareness; that it’s not an ‘I can make it’ mentality but an ‘I need this’ mentality.

In keeping with my self imposed theme of self-love this year, I’m trying to really listen to when my body tells me it needs something.  Ok, you need a break from scraping the car.  And another.  And another.  And now Aleve and rest.

That’s ok. Listening to what my body tells me will keep me healthy. 

So…how am I doing with the addition of self love vs the subtraction of undesirable behaviors???

I am a work in progress.

The laundry from last week is folded…and sitting in my living room. The cat judges. But it’s a step in the right direction?

I’ve made it home every day this week for lunch.  I’ve also eaten breakfast everyday this week which means I don’t want to gnaw my arm everyday around roughly 10am.  Breakfast has been eggs with salsa and wilted spinach; lunch has been baked chicken with spinach and artichokes.

Stumbling blocks: freaking football!  I’m a huge Carolina Panthers fan and if we didn’t have that stupid loss to the Falcons 2 weeks ago(admittedly, we played horribly that game), we would’ve had a PERFECT season.  Like 16-0. But whatever.  If you’d told me even a year ago we’d be 15-1 with a first round bye and hometeam advantage in the playoffs, I would’ve laughed in your face. I realize I just almost lost a lot of non football readers.  Keep reading- it’s almost over, I promise!

Also, I’m quite superstitious. We were down in the first quarter last Sunday which told me that they needed me to be wearing my special shirt and drinking a glass of wine in my usual haunt so yeah…chicken wings and wine happened. 

I’m glad we have a bye week this week. 

My intention, in making the best decisions for me based on loving myself and deciding things in accordance with that, was to have a clean eating, no wine January.  But I realized in being fair to myself, the two items are not fair to me with regards to celebrating fun events with my friends.  So I am allowed, in moderation, on days with games.

That’s fair and realistic.

In other matters, I’ve had to make a very hard decision regarding rheumatologists.  I LOVE the one I see currently, but he’s an hour and a half away.  While I love him and the practice, it’s getting harder and harder to make the drive there.

Want to experience hell? Drive an hour and a half first thing in the morning on an empty stomach for fasting blood work.  As much I trust my care with them, it’s getting harder and harder to make appointments.  So there is going to be a change soon, as much as it kills me.

It’s easier for me and my fear has always been, what happens if I need an ASAP appointment because I’m not doing well? Driving that far sick won’t happen.  I’m so sad to make that change but I have good recommendations for a new practice so fingers crossed that works out.

Full disclosure: I tend to make vast pronouncements every January 1st with the best of intentions of eradicating some stupid behavior from my life. Let’s lose weight! Let’s be more fiscally responsible! Let’s eat better! Blah blah blah.

You probably know how it goes…I’m usually successful for a few weeks, sometimes more, sometimes less…and these vast pronouncements are then promptly forgotten.

I read an interesting blog post recently that I’ve had on my brain ever since.  It made me think about a lot of things.  And I think hit why I’ve been unsuccessful in making change because of it.  Because I wasn’t hitting the core of these behaviors I’ve identified as undesirable.

Article is here.

Instead of making sweeping resolutions for things I want to change, my goal for 2016 is to focus on loving myself.  And making decisions on a daily basis that may be hard decisions to make, but fall in line with self love.

One of the things that kept bugging me after I read this was ‘do I love myself?’  My immediate answer was ‘yes! Of course!’ So my next question was ‘why?’  

What struck me in my answer to myself was that most of my answers to that were based on my perceptions of what other people think of me.  Because my friends think I’m fun/ny! Because my coworkers think I’m successful. I’m not going to share all or what I thought here…yet…because it’s pretty personal and I’m still processing it.  

I think this is an especially pertinent question when you live with chronic illness. 

Before you think that I don’t love myself, know that I’m actually pretty damn sure that I do.  But my goal for this year is to define the answer to why on my own terms.  To understand my value, and to make decisions, even difficult ones, with that in mind.

Perhaps I’m being Pollyanna here, but I think if I put some real thought and effort into it, I’ll have an easier time with behaviors that I’d like to change.  For me, ‘you can’t do this’ doesn’t work…but I think ‘let’s think about this, but you love how you feel about yourself when you don’t do xyz’ very well may.

I look forward to updating you on this!

Happy New Year- may you all have healthy, happy years. 

Brought to you by my current cold, the exhaustion that accompanies it, and a good strong dose of off brand Mucinex. *taken as directed, just to be clear*

I’m on day 4ish of the sinus and bronchial follies i.e. I’ve gotten over the whole trying to figure out who gave this to me and plotting terrible  passive aggressive things I can do to them.  I’m now in the ‘this isn’t so bad even though I feel pretty crummy’ phase.

Weird? 

Colds used to really freak me out when I was newer to the RA game.  I knew my meds suppressed my immune system and immediately imagined that I’d end up in the hospital.  I’d end up at the doctor on Day 2 saying do something! And I think the anxiety I had made it so much worse.

I honestly don’t know that changed.     There was no ah ha moment, but at some point, I realized that colds are comforting to me. 

They make sense.  I know why I’m tired.  I know why my head hurts.  I know why I can’t smell anything and why my ears are crackly.  And those symptoms respond favorably when I treat them. Bonus: I never have any joint pain when my body is busy attacking something other than itself.

Sure, I still treat it aggressively.  Hot steamy showers, neti pot, hot teas and soup…you name it, I do it.

But it’s so nice, just every once in awhile, to crawl into bed in comfy clothes at 8:30, slather on your vapor rub, and know that you’ll feel better in the morning.

Oh my long forsaken blog…I’m almost embarrassed to post as of late.  I’ve had a lot going on,both personally and professionally, all positive but I’ve lost sight of updating you on a regular basis.

Truth be told, I’ve lost sight of many things in my busyness.  My professional life is organized to the minute but my time outside of that is basically feral.  Insert pictures of wild animals.

I have lots to tell you…about life, about RA, about travels, about #Jointdecisions and the ACR meeting last month.  And I feel unworthy of reporting on any of those things because of my lack of consistency.

So here’s what I’m doing…I’m working to apply the same principles that make me successful at work to my blogging activities.  Give me a few days…still hammering out the details…but I still have a lot to say. I’m just tryon for the first time ever to put some structure around it. Please feel free to tell me what you want me to write about!

On a different note, the weirdest thing happened to me last night. I got home around 5:30, it was dark, but it was warm.  The pre RA in me said lets go running!!! The RA in me said no.  

I sat there for a few minutes and assessed my bodily answer to that.  And the answer was an overwhelming ‘try it!’  I double checked with my poor injured left ankle that has had 2 cortisone injections…and it was surprisingly onboard.

I thought and thought about it and remembered hearing another blog (holla Brit) saying not to focus on distance but to focus on one step after the other.

I ran for 15 minutes.  Sure, I was a sweaty, hacking mess but this morning, my bad ankle was fine.  And I was proud of myself.

It’s been awhile since I’ve been proud of what my body can do.

I hope to tell you more stories like that, along with all of the funny things I try that may or may not work.

Love and hugs!

So, if you’ve been reading for awhile, you know that I’m involved with several organizations.

I’m working on something with #jointdecisions right now and would love your feedback regarding your doctor/patient relationship.  More details to come soon! But please give me some feedback on the below questions!
Whah has worked for you in building a relationship with your rheum, feeling confident that you made the right choice in switching and also how you sustain and grow that relationship with your rheum over time?

  
I’ve always had pretty good teeth.  <knock on wood.> The picture above is from last May…where at the age of 35, I finally got my first cavity.

The amusement I had over numb, crazy mouth selfies definitely made up for my laughing gas request being denied. 

While I may not post as often as I should, I am constantly reading other blogs and various health publications.  In some ways, it’s a great thing.  I learn so much! In other ways, it is a terrible terrible thing because I self diagnose with the worst case scenario, work myself up into a tizzy, and in at least this most recent case, avoid getting something looked at for awhile because ***if the doctor doesn’t say it’s an issue, then it is not yet real. ***

Because, you know, good logic.  So rational.  

So what happened?

I’ve read a lot about the relationship between RA and dental issues.  Instead of trying to explain the technicalities, know that there seems to be a pretty strong relationship and follow the below links that are actually scholarly or at the very least peer reviewed.

http://www.joponline.org/doi/abs/10.1902/jop.2001.72.6.779

http://www.everydayhealth.com/rheumatoid-arthritis/important-dental-tips-for-ra-patients-5837.aspx

So…a few months ago, I noticed that my upper left gums were swollen.  I thought nothing of it…as this happened once before and when I went to the dentist, I was diagnosed with eating pizza that was too hot.  

Seriously.  The dentist laughed and said ‘honey, you must have been starving. Let your food cool down some!’

I let it go because I figured I had simply burnt myself again.  It went away after a few days.  And then it came back.  Away. Back. Away. Back.  

On round 3, I finally took a good look in my mouth with a mirror and FREAKED out.  Part of my left gum had receded and was ‘clefted.’

I immediately thought to my reading.  I also thought of my friend who recently had a gum graft that she best described as ‘agony.’

I stupidly thought to myself that I should just avoid it.  I didn’t want to admit that RA was wreaking havoc on a new place.  I certainly didn’t want to have a painful procedure.  And if it doesn’t hurt, then why address it?

I know. The stupid stings!

Fast forward to this past Tuesday.  I bit funny into a carrot and lost a filling in the other side of my mouth.  There was no way I could not address that, so off to the dentist I went.

Not only were they able to fix the tooth, they were able to squeeze in a cleaning as well as examine the gum recession.

The verdict: my gun recession is NOT RA related.  It is very much the result of aggressive brushing with stiff bristles and not helped by nighttime teeth grinding.  

I can’t control or make excuses for the grinding but I stand by rough brushing: this gal likes to be clean!

While I probably won’t have the gum ‘un-recess,’ the remaining tissue is thick and healthy. No need to refer to a periodontist at this time and certainly no need for a gum graft. Switching to a soft bristle toothbrush, being less forceful with brushing, and wearing an oh-so-sexy mouth guard at night should keep it from progressing. 

Moral here? There are several.

1. Don’t assume that RA causes everything.

2. Don’t put off something that should be looked at because you’re afraid of the answer.

3. Dental care is very important, especially for RA patients.

4. I realized that I haven’t seen many articles or blogs discussing RA dental care.  

5. Even though my issues wound up not being RA related, this is yet another aspect of the patient experience we should at least be aware of.

To maintain continued gum health as well as to address some tartar issues, my dentist has recommended a periodontal cleaning where they numb you up and clean below the gum line.  This would mean that all future cleanings would be a bit different read: more invasive and more expensive.

I’m considering it as it’s nice to feel proactive for once about health vs reactive.

What do you think? Anyone else have experience with this type of cleaning? I’d love to hear your experiences!

It’s been awhile since I documented this so here we go!

6:30am- Alarm #1 goes off. BAM, SLAP. Alarm #1 is silenced.  I roll over and pretend that it didn’t happen.

6:39- Alarm #1 snooze feature activates. I sit up long enough to slap it off the nightstand, lean over, pick it up and turn it off.

6:45- Alarm #2 (cell phone) goes off.  This one is easy.  I only have to roll over and tap it off.

7am- Alarm #3 (the TV) turns on.  The intro to the Today Show filters through the room.  But honestly, I don’t even budge because half the time, I don’t even hear it.

7:15- Alarm #2 snooze function activates.  Again, cell phone so tap off.

7:16- I don’t even have to open my eyes to feel the step, step, step, step, CAT IN MY FACE.  This wakes me up. Because I would never smack, slap or tap the furchild.

7:16-7:20- petting a purring cat, checking email, wishing I could spend the whole day in bed with her.

7:20- Get out of bed, stretch, assess how I’m feeling.  Today, not so bad. Wrists are a little sore but it could be worse.  

7:20-7:50- Dry and flat iron hair.  Wash face. Brush teeth. Contacts. Makeup. Jewelry.  Daily battle to find something in your closet that you feel confidant in.  This sometimes results in half naked trips downstairs to the laundry room.

7:50- Final assessment in mirror.  Stop in bathroom, take morning meds that you put on the counter the previous night.  Put back in bin because this is the only way you can remember that you have indeed taken them. 

7:50-8am- Make breakfast shake and coffee.  Feed cat.  Chug shake.  Chug coffee.  Make more coffee for travel mug. Pull precooked Tupperware for lunch- today is stir fried cabbage.  Grab a package of almonds, an orange and precut celery (by me, I’m cheap, not bought this way) for snacks.

8-8:30am: drive to work.

8:30-12pm- work! I try to schedule myself in 30 increments for both time management purposes as well as making time to get up, walk around, and stretch.

12pm- LUNCH.  Except…I don’t want my cabbage stir fry anymore because I want to take a walk.  Walk to deli, order chicken salad on mixed greens, walk back.  Leave cabbage in fridge for lunch tomorrow. Pat self on back for time savings on that move!

1pm- 5pm- work! Again, scheduling myself in 30 minute increments.  

4:45pm- receive text from friends re happy hour plans.  My best laid plans for gym/yoga are immediately jettisoned. 

5:15- 7pm- hang with friends. (Sometimes I drive home first and walk to where we are meeting.  Depends on where we meet, how I’m feeling and if the temperature is ungodly.)

7pm- 9pm- home/dinner/home practice yoga or free weights or walk or piyo.

9pm- shower, feed cat.  Take evening meds and put morning meds on counter so that they are not forgotten. Stretch if I haven’t done yoga. 

9pm-I fall asleep- fave part of day! Get in bed with furchild, Netflix.

Rinse, repeat.

Living with RA= so wild and so glamorous!

So I don’t want to post just to write a post…and for the most part, I’m doing well.  But I also don’t want to not post.

So would you rather see cat pictures???

  

Or hear about some of the dumb things I’ve done that my rheumy would probably cringe at…

Or perhaps my space is best used by sharing some of the things that make a big difference in my personal health?

Option 1 is totally adorable.  Option 2 is…well…what it is.  Note for my rheumy: my sliding buddy in the video is an ER doctor = I was *totally* supervised.  Option 3 is probably what you want to hear about most though. 
Not that I intend to stop with the cat pics nor do I intend to stop playing in bounce house/water slides meant for children. 

For me, one of the things most crucial in maintaining my health is eating correctly. The downfall is that so many of the foods I like are so bad!  

I’m very sensitive to a variety of foods and, as I’ve mentioned before, worked with a nutritionist to identify and eliminate them.  Tops of my list are salt, processed sugars, soy, gluten, and dairy. 

So how do you still eat your faves and avoid these things? I have been trying to clean up my favorite dishes, one step at a time.

On the menu today, taco salad.

I make all my meals for the week on Sunday’s and freeze the ones for the latter part of the week.

It doesn’t take as long as you would think.

This morning, I got up, made a cup of coffee and threw 2 lbs of chicken in the crockpot with a jar of tomatillo salsa.  (Sugar free). Low for 9 hrs.  When it’s done, I’ll shred it.  I’ll put some on salads. The rest I’ll eat by itself because the flavor is that good. 

I chopped 2 green peppers and 1 onion. I browned a pound of lean ground beef and added the peppers and onions.  

While the peppers and onions cooked, I chopped three zucchini. I put them on a baking sheet, sprayed them with olive oil, a teeny tiny bit of sea salt and popped them in the oven. 20 minutes at 400.

Note: this is how I drizzle olive oil.  It’s easier for my hands and wrists to hold as well as not dump a flood of olive oil.  Available from the travel section in almost every store for roughly $1.

  
Once the zucchini was in the oven, the onions and peppers were cooked.  I added 1 can of Rotel and 1/3 cup of water.  I also added 2 tablespoons of ‘Organic Mexican Seasoning’ that I got at Whole Foods.  It’s salt free and probably pretty easy to make on your own…but it’s Sunday and I’m lazy!

Here are the ingredients:

  
I mixed everything together and covered it to cook for 10 minutes.

Instead of chips, I serve it on a bed of spinach or kale.  I topped it with some fresh cilantro from my porch.

  
I made cup of coffee #2….oh, I need to not lie.  Do over: I made cup of coffee #3 and stuffed my face!

When I was done, the zucchini were too.

  
I roast all my vegetables this way. Asparagus, brussel sprouts, artichokes, you name it. 

Later today, I’ll spend probably 5 minutes shredding the chicken.  I also have fresh spinach that I steam as a side for variety.  If I get tired of the entrees, I always have chicken sausage on hand.

All in all, I spent 45 minutes in the kitchen, most of it waiting on stuff to finish and indulging my coffee addiction.  Outside of assembling and heating meals for the rest of the week, I won’t cook again until next Sunday. 

Now…cup of coffee #4 and hopefully a good walk if it cools off some!

Note: I was not compensated for or asked directly or indirectly  to mention any of the products above.