I tend to show everything I do to my family, to check they won't be offended. - "David Sedaris"

I tend to show everything I do to my family, to check they won't be offended.
David Sedaris

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I haven't got the slightest idea how to change people, but still I keep a long list of prospective candidates just in case I should ever figure it out.
- David Sedaris
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I love things made out of animals. It's just so funny to think of someone saying, 'I need a letter opener. I guess I'll have to kill a deer.
- David Sedaris