Being an Immigrant in France
It feels like,
Merci beaucoup for fucking me!

Whenever a problem or situation arises, I always ask myself:
“Where did I go wrong that led to this?”

Looking back now, I realize I was far too naive.
Because what I’m facing is not something you can control with effort—
it’s the unknowns in statistics, or the unstable variables in economics.

In school, I failed two classes;
now, society is giving me another lesson.

“People” are like “variables”—constantly changing.

Things that were agreed on a month ago
can completely shift in the middle of the month due to multiple unavoidable factors:

• A mental reset, switching from black coffee to loving caramel macchiatos

• A promise, canceled with a simple “sorry, never mind”

• “Maybe we don’t really need another employee after all”

• “We probably don’t need to buy another washing machine”

• “Do I really need to go to that date?”—last-minute cancellation with a lame excuse

…and so on.

Even I am the same way.
One second I’m listening to So Maness,
the next I’m in Lofi mode.

But do you really know what I’m trying to say?

In mathematics and physics,
a variable is a value that can change; it is not fixed and can be unspecified or undetermined.

The theory has already told me the facts.
But I lean closer to physics, and the Stephen Hawking school of universal gravity:
I believe the universe is not an abstract mathematical structure,
but an observable, understandable whole that is connected to human existence.

“If the universe has no connection to our deepest emotions, relationships, and sense of belonging,
then exploring it loses all meaning
and becomes nothing more than cold calculations.”

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One of my life philosophies is: commitments matter.

I cannot say I’ve fulfilled every promise I’ve ever made,
but I always try my best,
and I have always kept this belief.

Yet, the “variables” are too many.
So many that I began to wonder:
maybe I shouldn’t take things so seriously?

But the truth is, I cannot.

I tried doing things I didn’t like—
disgusting (laughs).

Since last November, I’ve been ready to fuck France.
And I am prepared.
Nothing left here is worth keeping me.

Like:
“Clients all over the world want this wine region,
you should stay here”
bla bla.

It’s not like they can’t do it without me.

I’m here in the wine industry’s “world-class battlefield,”
so what?

I don’t want it anymore.
(Variables.)

Because here, employers—
unstable variables—don’t respect commitments.

If I compare this to a one-night stand—
“promised a job, then vanished,
or knowing the company doesn’t actually need another employee,
but still wasting your time and energy”—

I think I’ve experienced it over forty times already.

As I wrote in my article Style,
this year, I won’t be so “kind” to people.

Because not everyone deserves it.

I will fuck you “very hard” this year.