Did I mention it's only 10 DAYS! til ROTK?
Oh, well, to err is human, to forgive is divine. Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr........
Hmmm. I don't like this. I mean, I look at people's diaries, and find that Aylson has been reading them, and my first thought is 'Finally! They've had her on their faves list for MONTHS!' My second thought is 'Why is she reading them now when she never bothered before?' (Especially when it's people I know but she doesn't). Third is 'Why does she have to do this, talking to my friends more than she did before?' Then i just get angry and upset, and i don't want yto be either of these things.
It really gets to me when she sits there in our group at lunch and break - I keep thinking that they were my friends first, why does she have to come? This happened at the Mission on my re-Birthday (to make up for the crapness of the real thing) she came and tried to join our group. I shouldn't be letting it get to me, but what's worse is that i keep thinking she KNOWS it's getting to me and that's why she's doing it. I mean, the fact I'm even thinking like this is awful...
And the fact that I don't want her anywhere near me, is that because I hate her? I miss her? I'm jealous? Or I want people to ignore her like we've been doing to Webster and Lisa? Ooh, my Godliness....
And the worst thing about all this is that in my paranoia, I don't want her reading my FOD or LJ, which means I can't sign notes... It didn't used to matter, but she's now started reading everyone's diaries.
I don't want to feel like this, I want to be friends, i want to be back as we were, but everything makes me feel differently.
And now I'm annoyed, because I'd meant to mention this no more.
Balls.
Oh, and PLUS, there's no way on Middle Earth I'll be able to get through ROTK without crying - I just watched the trailer for only the second time, the first time I had tears in my eyes and just now tears were running down my face... I can't wait, but I don't want it to end...