Last night...
We went to Barrowlands, to see Something Corporate, Yellowcard, and Less Than Jake.
Really just for So Co.
Only they didn't play.
They were on the website, on the rest of the tour, on the tour t-shirts, but not on the stage.
Anyway, here's some random stuff....
I don't really know what this is about, it just took my fancy.... lyrics from Black Balloon by Goo Goo Dolls
Okay, I don't agree with some of the character representation in the Harry Potter films, especially Azkaban, so here are my alternatives...
Oh, I watched some of the features on the ROTK DVD..... there's one really great bit when Iain McKellan is doing his Gandalf thang, in the scene after the battle of Pelenor Fields - 'We cannot hope to win by strength of arms.' 'No, but we can give Frodo a chance.' etc, and he goes on about Sauron being powerful, blah de blah, still in Gandalf mode, then he suddenly goes 'B*ll*cks!', still dressed as Gandalf, still acting Gandalf. GANDALF SWEARS!!!!!!
EU English
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
be the official language of the EU rather than German which was the other
possibility.
As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five year phase-in
plan that would be known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of
the "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less
letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
"fotograf" 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be ekspekted to
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments
will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a
deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the
silent "e"s in the language is disgraseful, and they should go away.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"
with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be
dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to
ozer kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor
trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer. Ze
drem vil finali kum tru!
If dogs were teachers…
When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.
Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.
When it's in your best interest, practice obedience.
Let others know when they've invaded your territory.
Take naps.
Stretch before rising.
Run, romp, and play daily.
Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.
On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.
When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
No matter how often you're scolded, don't buy into the guilt thing and pout...run right back and make friends.
Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
Eat with gusto and enthusiasm. Stop when you have had enough.
Be loyal. Never pretend to be something you're not.
If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
Why do we mess up exams?
A year has 365 days for you to study.
After taking away 52 Sundays, there are only 313 days left.
There are 50 days in the summer that are way too hot to work so there are only 263 days left.
We sleep 8 hours a day, in a year, that counts up to 122 days so now we're left with 141 days.
If we fooled around for only 1 hour a day, 15 days are gone, so we are left with 126 days.
We spend 2 hours eating each day, 30 days are used in this way in the year, and we are left with 96 days in our year.
We spend 1 hour a day speaking to friends and family, that takes away 15 days more and we are left with 81 days.
Exams and tests take up at least 35 days in your year, hence you are only left with 46 days.
Taking off approximately 40 days of holidays, you are only left with 6 days. Say you are sick for a minimum of 3 days, you're left with 3 days in the year to study!
Let's say you only go out for 2 days!
You are left with 1 day!
But that 1 day is your birthday...
so...
GOOD LUCK to everyone on your exams.
GCSE Past Papers
All of the following are metaphors taken from GCSE papers....Worth
reading for the metaphors about 'Phil', the Daily Star crossword and the Student night alone!
This is the youoof of today...
His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like
underpants in a tumble dryer.
She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again.
The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
McMurphy fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a paper bag filled with vegetable soup.
Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.
Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the centre.
Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.
The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left York at 6:36 p.m. travelling at 55 mph, the other from Peterborough at 4:19p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the full stop after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.
John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had
also never met.
The thunder was ominous sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.
The red brick wall was the colour of a brick-red crayon.
Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long it had rusted shut.
The door had been forced, as forced as the dialogue during the interview portion of Family Fortunes.
Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
The plan was simple, like my brother Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan
just might work.
The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating
for while.
Oh, Jason, take me!" she panted, her breasts heaving like a student on 31p-a-pint night.
He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can tell
butter from "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter."
She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
It came down the stairs looking very much like something no one had ever seen before.
The knife was as sharp as the tone used by Glenda Jackson MP in her
first several points of parliamentary procedure made to Robin Cook MP, Leader of the House of Commons, in the House Judiciary Committee
hearings on the suspension of Keith Vaz MP.
The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg
behind her, like a dog at a lamppost.
The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a
formerly surcharge-free cashpoint.
The dandelion swayed in the gentle breeze like an oscillating electric fan set on medium.
It was a working class tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with their power tools.
He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a dustcart reversing.
She was as easy as the Daily Star crossword.
She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was
room-temperature British beef.
She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.
Her voice had that tense, grating quality, like a first-generation
thermal paper fax machine that needed a band tightened.
It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to
the wall.
EDIT: Actually, I think some of these are pretty good..... they're the kind of thing you might get in a newspaper article in an English Close Reading, and then you'd have to analyse the author's tone...
We went to Barrowlands, to see Something Corporate, Yellowcard, and Less Than Jake.
Really just for So Co.
Only they didn't play.
They were on the website, on the rest of the tour, on the tour t-shirts, but not on the stage.
Anyway, here's some random stuff....
I don't really know what this is about, it just took my fancy.... lyrics from Black Balloon by Goo Goo Dolls
Okay, I don't agree with some of the character representation in the Harry Potter films, especially Azkaban, so here are my alternatives...
Oh, I watched some of the features on the ROTK DVD..... there's one really great bit when Iain McKellan is doing his Gandalf thang, in the scene after the battle of Pelenor Fields - 'We cannot hope to win by strength of arms.' 'No, but we can give Frodo a chance.' etc, and he goes on about Sauron being powerful, blah de blah, still in Gandalf mode, then he suddenly goes 'B*ll*cks!', still dressed as Gandalf, still acting Gandalf. GANDALF SWEARS!!!!!!
EU English
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
be the official language of the EU rather than German which was the other
possibility.
As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five year phase-in
plan that would be known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of
the "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less
letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
"fotograf" 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be ekspekted to
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments
will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a
deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the
silent "e"s in the language is disgraseful, and they should go away.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"
with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be
dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to
ozer kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor
trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer. Ze
drem vil finali kum tru!
If dogs were teachers…
When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.
Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.
When it's in your best interest, practice obedience.
Let others know when they've invaded your territory.
Take naps.
Stretch before rising.
Run, romp, and play daily.
Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.
On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.
When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
No matter how often you're scolded, don't buy into the guilt thing and pout...run right back and make friends.
Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
Eat with gusto and enthusiasm. Stop when you have had enough.
Be loyal. Never pretend to be something you're not.
If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
Why do we mess up exams?
A year has 365 days for you to study.
After taking away 52 Sundays, there are only 313 days left.
There are 50 days in the summer that are way too hot to work so there are only 263 days left.
We sleep 8 hours a day, in a year, that counts up to 122 days so now we're left with 141 days.
If we fooled around for only 1 hour a day, 15 days are gone, so we are left with 126 days.
We spend 2 hours eating each day, 30 days are used in this way in the year, and we are left with 96 days in our year.
We spend 1 hour a day speaking to friends and family, that takes away 15 days more and we are left with 81 days.
Exams and tests take up at least 35 days in your year, hence you are only left with 46 days.
Taking off approximately 40 days of holidays, you are only left with 6 days. Say you are sick for a minimum of 3 days, you're left with 3 days in the year to study!
Let's say you only go out for 2 days!
You are left with 1 day!
But that 1 day is your birthday...
so...
GOOD LUCK to everyone on your exams.
GCSE Past Papers
All of the following are metaphors taken from GCSE papers....Worth
reading for the metaphors about 'Phil', the Daily Star crossword and the Student night alone!
This is the youoof of today...
His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like
underpants in a tumble dryer.
She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again.
The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
McMurphy fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a paper bag filled with vegetable soup.
Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.
Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the centre.
Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.
The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left York at 6:36 p.m. travelling at 55 mph, the other from Peterborough at 4:19p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the full stop after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.
John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had
also never met.
The thunder was ominous sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.
The red brick wall was the colour of a brick-red crayon.
Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long it had rusted shut.
The door had been forced, as forced as the dialogue during the interview portion of Family Fortunes.
Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
The plan was simple, like my brother Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan
just might work.
The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating
for while.
Oh, Jason, take me!" she panted, her breasts heaving like a student on 31p-a-pint night.
He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can tell
butter from "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter."
She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
It came down the stairs looking very much like something no one had ever seen before.
The knife was as sharp as the tone used by Glenda Jackson MP in her
first several points of parliamentary procedure made to Robin Cook MP, Leader of the House of Commons, in the House Judiciary Committee
hearings on the suspension of Keith Vaz MP.
The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg
behind her, like a dog at a lamppost.
The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a
formerly surcharge-free cashpoint.
The dandelion swayed in the gentle breeze like an oscillating electric fan set on medium.
It was a working class tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with their power tools.
He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a dustcart reversing.
She was as easy as the Daily Star crossword.
She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was
room-temperature British beef.
She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.
Her voice had that tense, grating quality, like a first-generation
thermal paper fax machine that needed a band tightened.
It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to
the wall.
EDIT: Actually, I think some of these are pretty good..... they're the kind of thing you might get in a newspaper article in an English Close Reading, and then you'd have to analyse the author's tone...