Mixed Up World
Crappity McCrapperson. (or MC Crapperson, in homage to both Babz and Billy Boyd. *rock on*)
I thought I was getting better at dealing with the situation, especially because she was off for the best part of a week, and I didn't have to face her. I mean, I still miss her, but I knew that our friendship, if we ever did renew it, would always be blighted by recent events. Also, I really don't like the way she's been acting, suddenely acting up to all my friends to make me feel jealous, inviting herself to birthday parties, reading everyone's diaries, and giving our her ady (she never did that before), cosying up to people then spreading their secrets, being horrible about me when I'v still been trying so hard to be loyal to her... this is without anything her friends have said to me or about me, and excluding the whole 'birthday' thing.
Anyways, I didn't mean to turn that into a rant, all I meant to say is that I've been hurt in so many different ways recently, (some of which seem unconnected but are an effect of this situation) and have seen her in a different light. Some of the hurts I'll never forget, and I don't know if I can forgive someone I was so close to, had placed all of myself in, for doing such a thing to me.
Also, I was angry - Jo put it well: 'Whatever caused this is probably down to both of you, but she's entirely to blame for the escalation.' Well, I've had the apology now, but not to my face or anything that obvious: to a diary that I still don't want to write in properly as I don't want to let her back into my life - at least, not yet.
Anyway, my point is, I'm not sure what to do. I was okay, not happy but content, to carry on like this, so save myself being hurt. Now I can't decide if I want to know her or not. I do still miss her, but I've seen, heard, felt and experienced things that have shown me a personality I'm not sure I like...
PLEASE, help, any guidance...
When you're feeling kinda mixed up, just remember it's a mixed up world...
I thought I was getting better at dealing with the situation, especially because she was off for the best part of a week, and I didn't have to face her. I mean, I still miss her, but I knew that our friendship, if we ever did renew it, would always be blighted by recent events. Also, I really don't like the way she's been acting, suddenely acting up to all my friends to make me feel jealous, inviting herself to birthday parties, reading everyone's diaries, and giving our her ady (she never did that before), cosying up to people then spreading their secrets, being horrible about me when I'v still been trying so hard to be loyal to her... this is without anything her friends have said to me or about me, and excluding the whole 'birthday' thing.
Anyways, I didn't mean to turn that into a rant, all I meant to say is that I've been hurt in so many different ways recently, (some of which seem unconnected but are an effect of this situation) and have seen her in a different light. Some of the hurts I'll never forget, and I don't know if I can forgive someone I was so close to, had placed all of myself in, for doing such a thing to me.
Also, I was angry - Jo put it well: 'Whatever caused this is probably down to both of you, but she's entirely to blame for the escalation.' Well, I've had the apology now, but not to my face or anything that obvious: to a diary that I still don't want to write in properly as I don't want to let her back into my life - at least, not yet.
Anyway, my point is, I'm not sure what to do. I was okay, not happy but content, to carry on like this, so save myself being hurt. Now I can't decide if I want to know her or not. I do still miss her, but I've seen, heard, felt and experienced things that have shown me a personality I'm not sure I like...
PLEASE, help, any guidance...
When you're feeling kinda mixed up, just remember it's a mixed up world...