.æ.

Tumblrrrr

2012-12-29T00:59:39Z

Well two posts in two days.

I decided to go ahead and get myself a Tumblr (again). It's got one whole entry and you can look at it here. What I'm going to do with it, I have no idea, but feel free to friend/follow/whatever.

The reason my URL is theletteraesc is that some jerk just took 'aesc' and has done nothing with it. And may I just say, I find that incredibly irritating, considering that I'm aesc everywhere else in fandomland.

oh hai

2012-12-27T20:50:48Z

Well, it's a year later and I feel like a shit friend. Things got to the point where I'd been away so long, and it felt like it would be weird and uncomfortable beyond words to go back when everything's changed and people have moved on, and I would be stuck trying to get back the friends and conversations I should never have given up in the first place. It's one of the things crippling depression does to you, but it still feels like a very bad excuse.

The past 365+ days have been very eventful. I got an actual job that pays real money (in my field, more or less) and moved from my very tiny town to a very big city. My depression still lurks, but I've been busy enough that I can avoid thinking about it. In my work capacity I got to see siriaeve and torment her for a few days, which I haven't done in a very long time. One of the hardest things I've had to do this year is leave Finn behind, because he would not be happy as a big city dog, stuck in a tiny apartment when he could have a big house and a yard and his best friend for company. At the moment I'm home on winter break and I've been taking many pictures of him and forcibly cuddling him.

Part of me wants to come back, but it's just very weird, seeing as I basically exiled myself. Tumblr alarms me. I'm casually writing (and should be finishing) XMFC fic, although I'm also still trying to catch up from not being able to write for three months, thanks to severe repetitive strain that has (for the moment) been subdued by wrist braces and steroid shots in my elbows. But god it sucks when you write for a living and can't write... and then remember that, once you've fallen behind on writing, you will never in a million years be able to catch up.

Enough from me. Finn says happy new year.

hey

2011-11-15T04:08:09Z

So, yeah, I've not really been around much lately. My life this past year has more or less been a total fail, and even its successes haven't meant much. Mostly I've spent the year being severely depressed and self-isolating, even for a person with severe depression, and since everything I would have posted after December would have been along the lines of "My life sucks and I want to die whine whine moan complain," I honestly didn't see the point in posting much. Or, you know, at all. On the bright side, you've basically been spared a year or so of whiny, useless posts.

I have my doctorate now, for what it's worth, and that's about it.

Somewhere along the line, I lost the vast majority of the energy needed to do fandom the way I'd been doing it, and while I miss the community, I don't really miss the wank and the drama and the demand to keep producing stuff to feel like a worthwhile person. I've kind of moved on over to AO3 and dabbling in XMFC fic (don't even get me started on SPN, please), but mostly as a distraction from finishing my dissertation and trying not to think about what I'm going to have to find to do with myself.

This was not the "this is my first post back" post I planned on making. I don't even know if I will be back, in any meaningful sense.

But hi anyway. I hope you all are doing well and are happy.

.cards: Valentine's Day

2011-02-14T15:15:12Z

Hello parakeets <3

I'm currently trapped in the circle of hell that is trying to finish my dissertation so I can defend it this decade. Coincidentally, it's also the circle of hell that is trying to get up the motivation to finish when all job prospects have fallen through, and really, what is the fucking point anymore?

Whatever. I suspect most of you out there have forgotten my existence, and I almost forgot it too. But then I remembered it's Valentine's Day and I do cards on Valentine's Day. So, here you go!

I know the John one is kind of macabre, but I had just finished looking at a Kate Beaton comic about "Shot in the heart and you're to blame" and it got stuck in my head. BUT IT'S MEANT TO BE FUNNY, and anyway, we know that Rodney showed up in the nick of time and saved John's life.

That's enough fun. Back to work.

.spn 6.11: or, let's make a deal

2010-12-11T06:43:36Z

Yes, another week has gone by. The good news? I have an interview. The bad news? It's just... one interview. And it's next week, so now everything's been pushed to the side so I can prep. Whatever. Anyway, here's a cow I met when going Christmas-tree hunting.

Oh, Dean. A short review tonight, interspersed with the exchange trinityofone and I had while we watched the episode together. We really only got started a few minutes into the episode, after Dean makes his deal with Death, so I will talk a bit first.

Okay, the first major observation I had was that the statue behind Dean looked weirdly like Boba Fett. In fact, my curiosity forced me to pause, rewind, and take a closer look. It wasn't.

The second one, more substantial than the first, is that... oh, Dean. Don't you know that these deals never end well for you, and that there's some hook planted in them that you'll never be able to work out until it's too late? I suspect that he does know, and like Death says, is kind of past caring; his fatalism suggests that, instead of being cool with his mortality, he knows more likely than not he'll wind back up in his body and either things will be fixed or they'll be fucked up. There is a very thin line between those two things.

aesc: ha, I love how Sam decides to call Balthazar, probably because he knows there's no way Cas is going to listen to him
aesc: oh dude no way, Sam
trinityofone: bad sam
trinityofone: also, cas is not sam's boyfriend
aesc: so true. WRONG, Balthazar, WRONG
trinityofone: he's not a student of human nature
aesc: and he clearly doesn't know Cas very well

"Boyfriend," Balthazar? Really? I thought you and Cas were friends. Pfft. Their exchange makes me wonder if Balthazar is going to be the Crowley of the second half of the season. CROWLEYYYYYYYYYYYYY *cry of despair* My sorrow over his passing is alleviated a bit by the fact that I just saw Mark Sheppard being diabolical and manipulative in BSG, which makes me wonder if I really miss Crowley as Crowley, or if I just miss Mark Sheppard being a conniving asshole.

Anyway, I'm very happy that we're going to get more stuff about human souls as commodities and objects of exchange. I'd actually almost forgotten about that in the focus on Purgatory and what it's for, so I'm happy we're returning to another major point in SPN's mythology. Now, if we could only get this explicated a bit more fully than Purgatory, that would be awesome.

trinityofone: you think anyone's surprised death is super hot?
aesc: ahahahaha omg, please let Death look like Dean Winchester
aesc: I would welcome my mortality in that case
trinityofone: deaaaaaaan
trinityofone: "is it a local place?"
aesc: bahahahaha
aesc: Kansas
trinityofone: <3

Seriously, Dean as Death? Not that I'd go running to make funeral arrangements or anything, but he would be something to look forward to.

aesc: dude, Sam, come the fuck on. I know you're soulless and all, but there are fucking limits!
aesc: YAY BOBBY
trinityofone: SAM YOU SUCK
trinityofone: he is going to be soooooooo emo when he gets resouled
aesc: Sam's back on my Needs To Get Punched In The Face List
trinityofone: the screen may explode from sad puppy face
aesc: ahahahahahaha
aesc: I would gladly welcome back emo!Sam at this point
trinityofone: me too!
aesc: HA Bobby: 2; Sam: 0

You'd figure that Sam (and Dean) would know by now that, nine times out of ten, Bobby is way too smart for them. Also, Bobby could have a second/third career as the designer of carnival funhouses. No child would leave one of those untraumatized.

trinityofone: dear local news: i srsly do not give a shit that miley cyrus took a bong hit
trinityofone: bring back dean
aesc: oh god the bong hit
aesc: also, I know it's LA and all, but HOW IS THAT NEWS
trinityofone: I DO NOT KNOW
aesc: actually, it probably made the news up here too
trinityofone: the other story was, "THERE WAS A LOT OF WIND!!!"
aesc: when the Concord station doesn't feel like reporting actual news, they'll have like 10 seconds on something totally inane, like DWTS or Lindsay Lohan
trinityofone: haha
trinityofone: it's back!
aesc: or Sarah Palin

trinityofone: thanks bobby, dean appreciates that [the "Heeeeere's Johnny!" reference]
aesc: heeeee :D
trinityofone: bobby don't open the door!
aesc: don't go down there!
trinityofone: you were doing so well, dude
aesc: honestly, Sam does not deserve the awesomeness that is Bobby

Am I right? I'm right. Yeah, I know Sam doesn't have a soul or anything, but that's still no excuse. For that matter, I wonder if parricide is the only crime horrible enough to prevent the return of a soul to a body, or if matricide is included in that. Relatedly, I just remembered that, in one of the circles of Dante's Inferno are the souls of men who are still alive, but, by violating the trust between host and guest, actually had their souls sent down to Hell ahead of time. Anyhow.

aesc: ouch, Tessa
aesc: nooooo Dean
aesc: I was wondering if it was going to come down to Bobby's number being up and Sam wanting to kill him, and What Would Dean Do. maybe it still will somehow
trinityofone: me too
trinityofone: that's what i thought
aesc: we shall see what happens

Poor Dean. He of course does know what happens when the natural order is violated; what's dead should stay dead, after all. But it's one thing to know that from personal experience when it happens to you, and another to know it by experiencing it from the other side. At least, I'm assuming that's the case, as I've never cheated Death, made deals with him, or been resurrected.

aesc: oh god Sam PLEASE DIE
trinityofone: he got punched again!
trinityofone: that's nice :)
aesc: YAY DEAN SPEAKS FOR ALL OF US!
aesc: and he got punched in the face, no less
aesc: here's my suggestion for the rest of the season: they keep Sam tied up in the panic room, and Dean and Cas go on and have awesome adventures
trinityofone: hahahahaha
aesc: Sam is a sacrifice I'd be willing to make
aesc: I love that Death loves junk food. and now I kind of want a bacon dog, even as I'm kind of horrified by the thought
aesc: oh god, emo!Sam in 3... 2... 1...?

Sigh, I guess I won't get my wish, but whatever. Maybe Sam could be traumatized enough that he won't go out hunting, so Dean and Cas go out to have excellent adventures. Death's final conversation with Dean was, well, on one hand it's stuff we all know already (along with what Tessa told Dean about destiny, and Dean secretly believing that there is such a thing as fate even as he rails against it). What Death said, about trying to clean up Winchester-instigated chaos, resonates in the context of the past couple of seasons; it's pretty clear that the monster-related weirdness is related to the Apocalypse, and Cas of course has been stuck on mop-up duty because of it.

That said, I kind of love the humanism in Death's description of the human soul: that it's perishable and fragile, but stronger and more valuable than we know. Thanks, Death.

Speaking of Death, he reminds me of an older version/ancestor of the guy who plays/ed the gothy British intern on Bones (also, the gothy British lab tech in Crossing Jordan).

And now... six weeks.

.spn 6.10; or, burrrrrrn

2010-12-04T06:41:00Z

Still sucky times here. For those of you who don't know what the academic job market is, it's basically a month and a half of sending in application materials that force you to assess how very inadequate you are as a researcher and instructor, followed by another month and a half of the most dispiriting, empty silence as you wait for the bare hope of a phone call setting up the first of what you hope will be two interviews. I'm in the dispiriting, empty silence stage, which is characterized by the complete undermining of your confidence in yourself and the increasing conviction that, next year at this time, you'll be shuffling part-time jobs and cursing yourself for not sucking it up and going into something that might actually make you money.

It doesn't help with the writing. I failed at NaNo and am trying hard not to fail at the dissertation. But when every other thought my brain produces is something along the lines of "YOU WILL NEVER FIND WORK IN YOUR FIELD EVER YOU LOSER," it's hard.

Uff. Sorry for the late update tonight. I was forced to be sociable.

NO NO NO NO NO CROWLEY NO WHAT THE FUCK

I knew I shouldn't get confident! I spent all last year worrying about Cas and he was okay, and I stop worrying about Crowley, because hey, he's Crowley you guys, and his expansion project into Purgatory seemed promisingly epic... and now this happens. What the shit, SPN, what the
SHIIIIIIIT.

Now I'm going to have to start worrying about Cas again. CANNOT GET OVERCONFIDENT.

The nerd part of me is excessively, cruelly disappointed at the very real possibility we're not going to get to learn more about Purgatory, or maybe where monsters come from. I mean, what are the Alphas, other than the first member of their species? Where did they come from? Come on, SPN, cut me some goddamn slack here! I WANT TO KNOW. And since you had to go and fucking kill Crowley, I kind of feel like I'm owed some answers.

SO, yeah, I don't like those parts very much. Oh, and I also didn't really like the "rape shower" joke near the beginning. Like, I really hope I keep mishearing it, because come on. I get that it's Dean, and Dean's got one of the most tasteless senses of humor ever, but that's no excuse. Come ON writers quit with the random and meaningless fuckups! WHY IS IT SO HARD FOR YOU.

People who needed to be punched in the face: Grandpa Skinner.

Moments that needed to not happen: Cas watching porn. I don't know why, but it's different in real life. I may or may not have suffered a brief, excruciating spasm of contact embarrassment, made a shrill noise, and averted my gaze.

Now, on to the things I did like:

CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS. I will return to him in a minute.

YES, ANNOYING DEMON!CAMPBELL BOUGHT IT! The Campells are like the fictional version of the sort of person you take an instant dislike to in real life. The dislike seems irrational at first, because the person hasn't actually done anything yet to make you disike them, but inevitably, a short time later, they pull some colossally douchey move--talk shit about one of your friends, make a racist/classist/sexist joke and then laugh at it, chew with their mouth open--and you realize that what you thought was irrational was, in fact, instinct. Part of you knew this person was intolerable, and was trying to tell you all along, but you had to wait for the evidence. That's how I feel about the Campbells. Now, I get that maybe Demon!Campbell (whose name I've forgotten) was a perfectly nice guy when not possessed, but I have a hard time believing that's the case. No perfect crystalline tears for you, Demon!Campbell.

For the first time this season, I liked Sam. I'm not entirely sure why... I think possibly there was an edge of sarcasm distinctly reminiscent of soulful!Sam when he was being snotty, but also his just-there sense of loss when Crowley and Cas both agree that Sam getting his soul back could potentially be a very bad thing.

What I loved? Dean finally finally FUCKING FINALLY cutting Cas a break and not demanding more and more shit from him at the end of the episode. Dean's usually all "No, now I need you to do something else for me NOW" and then gets testy when Cas suggests that he has a life outside of catering to Dean's whims. (That Cas still does it, though <3333333333333 forever.) But tonight, though, Dean came right out with it: Cas is their friend, and it's cool that he can't work miracles.

Speaking of Cas, oh poor Cas... he just wants to be on Earth and not trying to patch Heaven back together. CAAAAAAAS. Heaven does not deserve him. And yeah, I hate and LOATHE that Crowley died, especially because I feel--once again--that the writers missed out on a hilarious opportunity for the two of them to commiserate (in a hostile sort of way) over relatives and associates being recalcitrant assholes. But all the same, how badass was Cas, anyway? VERY BADASS.

Cas falling for Sam's prayer, if only because of the possibility that, beyond the Ark of the Covenant being real (which I guess it is), the Ark being the way it's described in Raiders of the Lost Ark, with the face-melting and everything, would be totally awesome. I'm surprised there wasn't some kind of follow-up conversation about it with Dean, because that would be straight up Dean's alley. Also, all three of them could go and look for it! Cas gets to wear Indy's hat. Dean gets the whip.

Because I had to DL this ep (thanks, parents' boring and inescapable friends), I couldn't see what, if any, previews came up for the next part of the season. And because I've had my head buried in the excrement pile that is my research while I slowly lose every shred of my self-confidence, I haven't really spoiled myself for anything. It's a weird sensation, given that last year I was spoiled up to the hilt.

I hope I'll have actual fannish content soon. I'm finishing up a long-overdue Merlin comic, and having it done before Christmas would really redeem December for me.

John and Rodney's annual plea

2010-11-25T16:48:28Z

Happy Thanksgiving, United States peoples! As always, John and Rodney ask for your clemency this year, so that they can watch the football game and have grub-and-crabapple pie.

.spn 6.09: or, I want to believe...

2010-11-20T03:45:20Z

Yeah, another stupid week. Honestly, I am fucking fed up at this point, with myself and with about 99.99999% of the world. Just fucking sign me out already.

I'mma vent for one second because people in my actual life are making me homicidal with frustration, so I'm going to take it out on people whom I don't know and who don't care what I think, because I have about as much control over those people as I have over the people I know who can't fucking get their shit together:

WHAT is the goddamn fucking point of having a regular cast member who is not in even half the fucking episodes, who has the barest fragments of a storyline, and who is in an episode for an average of five minutes? Seriously, can you answer me this? Yeah, I'm a bit angry because Cas was in the credits tonight and he didn't actually show up, unless he was invisible or pretending to be one of the glowy lights. COME THE FUCK ON. He's an amazing character, he has a potentially very interesting and compelling storyline, the demand for him to actually be a character who shows up more than twice every five episodes is present, and it's just frustrating having him be barely there at all. It's like the search for God all over again.

I mean, we know Cas can have a story that's actually shown, instead of just told in recap, from numerous episodes in S4: 4.07, 4.10, 4.16, 4.20, and 4.21 all have significant space devoted to Cas (or Jimmy, in the case of 4.20), and this in no way detracts from the main storyline that Dean and Sam are pursuing. We don't get that again until 5.10, and then 6.03. I'm still at a loss to explain why they didn't run with that same approach with Cas in S5, even as something to provide some goddamn variety to spice up the perpetual menu of Dean And Sam's Co-Dependent Adventure. It just, it kills me that the writers have such a cool character whom they seem to be keeping around just because he's popular, not because they're actually going to do anything with him other than have him show up for a couple minutes, bicker with Dean, and then leave.

Come on, writers. Step it the fuck up already.

Honestly, my annoyance with that probably unfairly ruined what was, objectively, a very entertaining and hilarious episode. I mean, WOOLSEY! WOOLSEY, EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!!! I made a shrill, joyful sound when I saw him; I actually said to my mom "Look! It's the doctor from Voyager!" because Robert Picardo will always be the doctor from Voyager first, and Woolsey second. Now I guess he can be a leprechaun as number three in my List Of Associations.

I knew from last week what the MotW would be, but it was still quite fun having the alien crop circles mixed in with the fairy rings, and the conflation of fairy abduction/alien abduction. And having Doctor-Woolsey-Leprechaun masquerading as a UFO buff to keep people like Dean and Sam off his trail. For some reason, it pleased me that they were in Indiana for this--maybe it makes my state (temporary state) cool by association, I don't know, but I kind of got a kick out it.

There's plenty of corn at least, and really, you'd figure that that Patrick Brennan kid would know better than to venture out into the middle of a cornfield at night. Scary-ass children come out of those things! They're huge! The cornfield, I mean, not the kids, and probably you could be lost in a big one until you go crazy from the endless rustling sounds and the sameness of acre after acre of absolutely identical, genetically-engineered Monsanto corn, and finally you curl up and die and your body is chewed up by a harvester and goes on to become part of the HFCS that in turn becomes part of someone's Coke. It's the circle of life, my friends. The circle of life. It's a bitch.

Unfunny moments: little people jokes and vaguely homophobic remarks are not really attractive, original, or amusing, Ben Edlund. LACK OF CASTIEL WHAT THE FUCKING SHIT.

Hilarious moments: no other SPN writer can write snappy, funny dialogue quite like Ben Edlund, or manage the weird balance of hilarity/omfgdepression in the same way that he can. The format of the credits (aside from the flagrant lie about Cas being in them, and I don't care if that shot was perfect, don't put it in if he's not fucking showing up Jesus Hortensius Christ), the ET reference with the comet. There are few things more hilarious than Dean Winchester when he's totally freaking out and trying to keep it together, especially when Sam (even soulless Sam) is all "dude, calm the fuck down, it's cool," and Dean is all "YOU CANNOT POSSIBLY APPRECIATE HOW UNCOOL THIS IS FOR ME RIGHT NOW." And then Dean being all chuffed about kicking faery ass.

Human souls have a... perfume. I'm thinking Black Phoenix Alchemy Labs needs to get on this. What would a human soul smell like? For myself, I'm thinking something chocolatey in the oven, just as it's starting to finish baking, like brownies or something. You know, when you're tired and annoyed and sitting there waiting for some soothing chocolatey goodness any minute now, and then you take a breath and mmmmmm, nom, chocolate, and you know that heaven on earth will be yours in just a few minutes? Yeah. That is the odor of goddamn Paradise.

I kind of wish Sam had taken Doctor-Woolsey-Leprechaun up on his deal, because then Sam would have his soul back and then they could say "fuck you" to Crowley, and then they could spend the rest of the season teaming up with Cas and being awesome. PROBLEM SOLVED.

Next time: Oh hey look, CAS. And I knew this was going to be the one fun episode before something depressing and/or awful happens. My money is on Gwen biting it, because she's the only Campbell I actually sort of like.

(eta: No rehashing the Cas-lessness in this episode in the comments, if possible. Let's just confine this to what was actually, you know, in the episode.)

34600 / 50000 words. 69% done!

Now I'm going back to having issues processing the salmon I had for dinner. Urgh.

.spn 6.08: or, sit, stay, heel

2010-11-13T03:24:53Z

Yes, things have been crap lately, so I've been invisible. Vomiting up negativity isn't terribly attractive. Also, I've been sleeping around ten hours a day in between trying to finish the pile of crap that is my dissertation, so that doesn't leave much time for anything else. Damn, but the switch back to standard time sucks all the life and joy out of me.

Just a short review tonight, mostly random, less nerd than last week.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO DOGGIES D: D: D:

One thing you should know about me: I still have not forgiven my mom for taking me to go see All Dogs Go to Heaven. IT WAS HORRIBLE. As you might imagine, when I saw the title for this ep, I was very suspicious. And, as you might also imagine, I was pretty sure poor, creepy skinwalker dude was going to end up dead. If you were, like me, unfortunate enough to see the movie, his dog-shape being a German Shepherd was a callback to that HORRIBLE AWFUL CARTOON THING OF AWFULNESS.

Yes yes, I know they're supposed to be evil and they want to make more monsters, and "Lucky" was seriously, seriously creepy (and about eleven million different kinds of fucked up), checking his "owner" out when she was in the shower, but still... DOGS. Those of you who have read here regularly at any point in the past several years know I'm very fond of them. I'm not sure how fond of them I would be if it ended up they were weird-ass psycho monsterpeople in disguise, but there you go.

As far as I can remember, SPN has only mentioned skinwalkers once (maybe twice), way way way back in S1. I've been rewatching S1 as I do edits, and I've been thinking it would be pretty neat if S6 went through all the monster names that previous seasons have casually tossed out. My vote for a MotW in the second half of the season goes to the Phantom Gasser.

The poor skinwalker guy this week is pretty much the embodiment of why having Purgatory be for monsters' souls is such an odd concept. As I think someone said last week, Limbo would be a bit more appropriate, and even then, if you're a werewolf, vampire, or skinwalker and you've been turned against your will, theologically speaking, are you culpable for killing people? I have no idea; it's one of the very few things Augustine didn't talk about. And, I guess, can you get out of Purgatory, after you've finished atoning for all the things you did? For that matter, is there a difference between werewolves, who kill compulsively, and, say, shapeshifters, who seem to kill just because they like it? No idea. Fuck it, I'm not thinking about this tonight.

So, let's talk about Sam and Dean.

First of all, the deal that Sam and Dean need to make with Crowley is that they hand him an Alpha and Crowley takes off about 2/3rds (at least) of Sam's sideburns. SERIOUSLY. Like, I am less concerned about Sam's soul at this point than I am about his sideburns, because they are so distractingly awful. They make it hard to focus on Sam being a de-souled, manipulative jerkface.

For most of this episode, I was prepared to write Sam off as a lost cause, and while I'm still not convinced that he's not going to turn around and sell Dean out for a Coke Zero, at least at the end he seems (???????) to recognize that being soulless isn't the best way to be. It's a realization that, had Dick Cheney had it 60 years or so ago, would have spared the United States, and the world, a lot of unnecessary suffering. I can only hope he actually means that, and isn't saying it just to keep Dean roped in enough to keep helping him. You manipulative asshole, Sam.

Speaking of manipulative assholes, why do I like Crowley so much? He's unrepentantly horrible, and that just never flies with me. Still, I like him, goddammit.

Dean... oh, Dean.

Random observation: The colors in this episode were weirdly saturated, I imagine to contrast more obviously with SkinwalkerVision(TM). It was rather bizarre, and pretty hilarious. I mean, you could see the ridiculous amount of makeup they put on Jared to keep his face from being a ridiculous beigey blur after postproduction.

Next week: YES. YES. OH HELL YES. *claps hands* My one reservation (there's another, but I'm withholding it because I'm trying to keep things light): that this is going to be the hilarious, light-hearted episode they drop in right before things go incredibly to shit. If 6.10 is going to be the midseason hiatus as usual, and if it follows the precedent set by 5.10, which hit a kazillion on the Oh Fucking Shit Depressingometer, I'mma be worried.

22491 / 50000 words. 45% done!

.eta: Bush would have failed my comp class so damn hard.
.eta2: Much more amusing to contemplate.

.spn 6.07: or, SCHOOLED

2010-11-06T04:09:59Z

Big exciting news: I'm on antibiotics for a sinus infection! And also some amazing allergy medications. Feeling much better.

Now that I have delivered my State of the Upper Respiratory System Address...

"Yes, Dean, because your problems always come first." (Paraphrased.)

Oh, Dean, you just got told. Castiel schooled you so hard, you actually stopped to think for, like, .5 seconds, that there are issues in the world other than your shit, and that Cas might--just might--have to take some time to handle them. I mean, yeah, we get that you're epically pissed at Sam, and freaked out--and who wouldn't be?--but as awesome as Cas is, there's only one of him to go around. And really, you're being that friend--you know, the friend who is all "oh my god, let me tell you about my miserable life and could you give me a ride my car is busted," but the second your friend says "Hey, by the way could you do something for me?" you're all OH MY GOD WHY DO YOU ASK ME TO DO THESE THINGS??? Don't be that friend, Dean.

Sorry, I had to get that out of the way.

We-hel, this was one of those episodes I wish they'd planned a little better so everything wasn't in the last highly-fragmented ten minutes. One of the things I like is that a few more Campbells have bitten the dust; really, aside from Gwen, the rest of them I could really do without. As for Christian being possessed, I find it really, really hard to believe that the Campbell home base doesn't have things to keep demons out, and that none of them have anti-possession tattoos going on. That seems highly unlikely to me, but we'll pretend Grandpa Campbell has been going around scratching holes in devil's traps for Crowley's sake.

Crowley is horrible and EBIL and devious, and I don't know... I love him anyway. Back when it was announced that Crowley would be coming back, I read a comment someone left on a blog, to the effect of "I'd watch Mark Sheppard be an asshole to a busload of orphans," and I agree with that sentiment. I would. I'd watch him be an asshole to Dean and Sam Winchester, and I just did, as a matter of fact. I did it gladly, because Crowley is, as I said, horrible and EBIL and devious, and it's kind of amusing that everyone is just a bit surprised that he's as horrible and ebil as he is. His expansion plans could also spell further difficulty for Cas, particularly if Purgatory is a place from which one might possibly access Heaven.

Speaking of which, I am really, really loving the theology here. Sam's soul (which I'll get to in a minute), and Heaven being screwed up, Hell being screwed up, and now Purgatory! I'm sorry, but I study this stuff and it's one of those things that is conceptually interesting but difficult and annoying to read about, and so I get ridiculously excited when the theological structure of the cosmos gets talked about in literature and popular culture. I JUST LOVE IT OKAY I CANNOT HELP IT. So, interesting point: apparently straight-up human souls don't do time in Purgatory; you either go to Hell or you go to Heaven. That's a hell of a pass-fail exam. And it would be kind of disconcerting in SPN!verse, to be a human soul that gets sent to Purgatory and ends up being surrounded by vampires, werewolves, and shapeshifters. Anyway, if Crowley believes Purgatory's being under-utilized, even though it's currently serving as a holding facility for monster spirits... you kind of have to wonder what's going to happen to said monster-spirits, if there's going to be some crazy, fucked-up colonization activity, or if the monster-spirits get evicted back to Earth (or sent to Hell--which is completely unfair).

Doctrinally, SPN's use of Purgatory brings up an interesting question. Namely, what, exactly are the monsters being purged of? Standard purgatory doctrine holds that you go there to work off the debt you incurred by sinning, but sin is always an act of will. Disordered, unnatural will, yeah, but it's will. In the case of vampires, where they have to kill to survive, does that count as sin? For that matter, most vampires and werewolves, like Madison, are victims of a curse they never wanted. The two shapeshifters we've met both hate what they are, the same for the poor guy who turns into a Rugaru. So what, exactly, is being purged here? Their monstrosity? Something else? Whut?

Sorry, like I said, I wonder about these things.

And Sam's souuuul. I had a cruel thought earlier, about how it's hard to tell the difference between soulful!Sam and soulless!Sam, but that's unfair and I shouldn't have thought it. Sorry, Sam. I also had some thoughts about what, exactly, a soul is, and it would maybe interest you to know that there is a very long tradition of thought in which the human is a trichotomous being (that is the term for it, yeah, it sounds like an insect), composed of a corporeal body, the soul/mind, and the life-force or anima that is responsible for keeping the person alive. When the soul leaves, the life-force goes with it and the body dies. The soul is usually the thing with memories, perception, will, that sort of thing. So yes yes yes AGAIN, I really like what the writers are doing here, because it makes me feel like the dusty old things I study have some kind of afterlife and find their ways into unexpected places. No, I don't think that the SPN staff is all fannish over St. Augustine, I just like that they're messing with the same stuff my relatively boring life is made out of.

Anyway, Sam's soul. I like it. It seems like your soul is what makes you human--not just in the sense that it's a thing you have, but that it's your empathy, your ability to connect with other people, your openness, and your weakness. And we haven't seen much of that from Sam for a long time, not just this season. I hope we'll finish off this year with Sam being back to the way he was in S1, when I kind of liked him a whole lot, and that would make me really, really happy.

And now Cas. Oh, Cas. "Are you speaking in tongues?" TAKING OFF HIS BELT. And now he's been in Sam, too. Poor Dean.

Cas's remark to Grandpa Campbell about how he's in a vessel and his true form is the size of the Chrysler Building... Does this mean Jimmy's back? Or just that he's sort of got the deal that Anna has: a body of his own, NSA? Because OH MY GOD JIMMY :( :( :( I can't imagine him saying yes to Cas again, even though Cas's mission is clearly extremely important, so I'm going to go with my first supposition, that the body Cas has--scrawny, pfft, shows what you know, Grandpa Campbell--is his own.

Like Cas trying to pack himself into that small, hot package, though, I wish he didn't have to pack all his awesome into a handful of minutes. Give the guy more airtime, writers! Jeez! STOP TEASING US. Thank you.

Okay. I just finished the first alcohol I've had in two weeks, and it involves Merlot, so I can't feel my face right now. I'm going to bed.

Before I go, though... wow, eight episodes in a row without a break? The midseason hiatus is going to be hard, you guys.

NaNoWriMo, Casifesto, stuff

2010-11-04T01:24:07Z

Hurray, I'm on Day Three of NaNo, and already I'm a bit ahead of schedule. I've been trying to push for 2,000 words/day, so I can have a day off every now and then if I need it, and so far it hasn't been too bad. At the moment, the big challenge is not flipping out over how badly my style seems to have stagnated; it doesn't seem to move the way it used to do. More poetry reading must be undertaken ASAP.

7020 / 50000 words. 14% done!

Augh, it looks so insignificant now D:

Also, I have updated the Casifesto with 6.06. It's a bit short, because NOT ENOUGH CAS, but still. "Where'd you look?" "Everywhere."

I'm definitely working my way towards some kind of upper-respiratory infection, and I feel hungover from the election anxiety/horror from yesterday. It's never easy, being confronted (again) with the fact that at least 50% of the country suffers from delusions comorbid with selective amnesia. In the meantime, I'm also twirling, twirling, twirling my way towards finishing my dissertation, although it's not "twirling," maybe, so much as "stumbling." God, I'm really starting to hate this thing, and I really hope--as long as I get an actual job--I don't get a postdoc for next year, because I really don't want to have to think about this thing any more. Ever.

The job stuff is just depressing me. There's nothing open in my specific subfield this year, only general medieval stuff, and that all goes to high/late medievalists. I'm starting to feel like the job I was runner-up for last year was really my best shot at employment, so maybe I should just start filling out those Starbucks applications now.

/sudden journey into depression /will to go on

.spn 6.06: or, truthiness will set you free

2010-10-30T02:39:36Z

When she came to visit me a couple weeks ago, trinityofone ended up spending roughly seven consecutive days being allergic to New England. Well, now it's my turn. I went up to Freeport today to winterize myself (more fleece! more wool socks! long underwear!) and sounded like the person who is Patient Zero in movies like The Stand or Hot Zone, whose snufflings and splutterings eventually lead to the eradication of 75% of the country's population and requires Gary Sinise to be really hot and be in charge of the few desperate refugees as they battle against evil. For the record, I have sounded like this for about a week solid. So, at last, I caved and took a Benadryl, and as of this writing it has been eight hours hours since I took the fucking thing and I'm still stoned out of my gourd.

These are gourds.

Consider this a warning that my episode review may not be terribly coherent. But it could be amusing!

NEEDS MOAR CAS.

Obviously. Argh. Two minutes, writers? Seriously?

You know, I've had five seasons and six episodes to get used to the sight of Dean Winchester's scarred, tattered soul being flayed yet again... but goddammit, Jensen Ackles still brings it. When Dean confessed that he wanted a home and a family but couldn't square that with the life he actually knew and was good at, seriously, my heart broke all over again, just like it did ten million other times during the past several years. And when Lisa told him that was it (which, NOOOOOOOOOO come on, can't Dean have like one thing that is not completely awful in his life? [Answer: Of course not])... severe cardiac damage was sustained, okay?

When Dean was spilling his guts to keep from, you know, spilling his guts, I wondered about the kind of truth Veritas demands that you tell. Is it objective truth, or purely subjective? (Although I suppose you could also say that subjective truth--what the truth is to you--is no less valid or absolute than objective truth.) That is, is what Dean says--that he's a hunter and a wanderer, and can't be the family, stay-at-home guy he wants to be--actually a statement of the way things are, fundamentally and irrevocably? Or is he speaking what he feels is the truth, something that's been influenced by how catastrophically fucked-up Sam is, how badly things with Lisa have been damaged? Even though Lisa's apparently been considering letting Dean know things are over... Dean was getting better until Sam showed up, right? Clearly there were issues, but things, at least from what we saw in the few episodes we have, were getting along somehow, and Lisa had wanted to keep a place for herself and Ben in Dean's life after he took off.

Oh, Dean.

On to Sam... obviously, we all knew something was up. And that something will come out in the next episode (see below for a plea not to spoil things for anyone who may not have access to the previews), and whatever-it-is gives him the ability to lie like a very fancy Persian rug. And, seriously, if I were Dean, I would have punched the living daylights out of him too, because when it comes down to it, Sam's asking Dean to go back out on the road with him, and riding the issue until Dean caved, it's very possible to read that as Sam's "You know, I don't give two tiny shits about anything that isn't directly related to me and hunting." Which is, if you think about it, not a terribly gigantic leap from the sort of self-centered asshattery that's characterized Sam in the past. It seems like this Sam is sort of the distilled version of Sam Winchester, parted from the things that make him someone Dean has issues with but still loves anyway.

As for Cas. Oh, Cas. Dean jumping on him for being less human is really bugging me. (Even though, obviously, I would have preferred that Cas fly to Dean immediately and do whatever he could to comfort him.) It's like, Dean, I know your problems seriously suck, and you're freaking out about Sam, but Cas just got done fighting one apocalypse, and now he's trying to keep another from happening, more or less by himself. Cut the guy some goddamn slack for once. And, you know, if Cas were back to being a full-on, I-have-nothing-to-do-with-humanity asshole, he wouldn't have offered to help with Sam, and he also wouldn't have tried to explain that he's now in the position of not being able to toe the line and disobey, because he's the one who's trying to get things done. While he hasn't shied away from doing regrettable things in the past--making Dean torture Alastair, attempting to kill Jesse, being ready to smite the town in 4.07 if he had to, fighting Uriel and Anna, killing his own brothers--he was also more or less able to bend the rules if called upon to do so. But now he can't, and I think it's implied that he's stuck between two competing forces: helping Dean (who is still his friend theyhaveaprofoundbondhomggggg) and doing what he has to to keep Heaven's war from spilling shit all over Earth again.

So go easy on him, Dean! And tell him he needs to take a break and pour one out with you, for old time's sake. Then go make out or something. Please.

Next week: CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS

And, for those people who don't have access to the previews, no talking about the huge ginormous elephantine whale-spoiler for next week, okay? Although it is nice to see theories confirmed, and man, do I have some questions now. Like, even more than I did before.

Casifesto: re-opened for business! also, other stuff

2010-10-27T02:39:19Z

Hurray! I had to take time to finish my bigbang art and then I needed a week to be comprehensively allergic and swollen-faced and gross, but the Casifesto--your one-stop shop for all things awesomely Castiel--is back up and running for S6.

Like I said, I've been sick this past week, mostly having to do with intractable allergies. There's also been a metric shit-ton of work to get finished, and that mostly has to do with my dissertation (a chapter and a half left *weeps* WHY AREN'T YOU JUST DONE????) and also applications for work next year. Tomorrow I will hit the halfway point, with twelve of twenty-four applications finished, but it should also be noted that I am completely fed up with the process. Just fucking hire me, people! I'm good, I swear!

Random other shit: I'm doing NaNoWriMo this year, reworking Below Skyscrapers. If you're doing it and need a writing buddy, I'm narratif (same as my Twitter, because I am amazing and original). And, of course, between my dissertation and 1,670 words a day, I have an idea for a new D/C fic (Cas hosts a political talk show! There are improbable meetings! A ridiculous backstory!), and, you know a bunch more art to finish.

And now I shall leave you with a dose of some ridiculous prettiness. Not Cas-related, but... really, just look. Seriously. His name is Roberto Bolle, he's an Italian dancer, and sweet Christ in Heaven is he beautiful.

.spn 6.05; or, RPattz is dead, long live RPattz

2010-10-23T03:12:11Z

Ufff, what a day. I had to drive a couple hours out to Hanover to do research, which meant a four-hour round trip without a trinityofone to keep me company. What did end up keeping me company was horrible, wretched cramps, and the steadily-growing conviction that what was sloshing around in my uterus was, in fact, radioactive sludge. That was fun. And for the record, Dartmouth College officially has the most bewildering library I have ever been in. Even my undergrad library, where the stacks were so maze-like and poorly lit you felt like you were going to discover the dessicated, decades-old corpse of some terminally puzzled freshman, was not as bad.

So, I'm kind of in a dim frame of mind tonight. And tonight's episode is about vampires, which, let me just say... I fucking hate vampires. Full disclosure: like a lot of teenaged girls in the mid-90s, I too went through a vampire phase: Dracula, Gary Oldman being hot and brooding and star-crossed in the Francis Ford Coppola movie, Interview with the Vampire and the Anne Rice vampire corpus, and then it was over and now I look back at my fifteen-year-old self and am all "What the shit, fifteen-year-old self? WHAT THE SHIT?" I loathe Twilight for the simple fact that it contains vampires (the fact that it's horribly written is sort of a bonus). Alexander Skarsgard, fine, fine specimen of masculinity that he is, cannot induce me to watch even a microsecond of True Blood. Don't get me started on the Vampire Diaries. I don't even like Bunnicula, and that's about a vampire bunny.

The only episodes of SPN I don't watch when I'm marathoning DVDs are the vampire episodes. Yes. I watch the episode with the bugs, and the one with the phantom ship. I do not watch the vampires. It's not that I can't handle their challenge to the restrictions of heteronormative post-Victorian sexuality, their blending of human and animal, or their marginal-yet-intimate-other existence (really, vampires are so far from the margin now, come on), it's that I find them boring and stupid and overdone. Tonight feels almost like it might be the night of that episode with Paris Hilton. It's just something you watch for the sake of completeness.

Let's see how it goes, shall we?

Well, that did not entirely suck, hur hur hur.

The opening segment was kind of an exercise in contact embarrassment. Admittedly, I do quite love the pun in the title, but... taking shots at Twilight now is kind of like kicking a big, dumb troll in the ankle. A troll so big and stupid it has no idea you're there. Yeah, you can do it, but it's too easy. What I did appreciate, though, is Dean's weird, quasi-permeable membrane that allows him to know who the werewolf actor guy is, while Sam can only come up with 'Dracula'.

Oh, and the fact that evil Captain Vampire thinks Dean is pretty. Doesn't he know that Dean is technically at least ten years too old to be the dark, brooding high school vampire stereotype?

Anyway, back to the opening sequence, that was kind of a stretch to imagine. Is she (Kristen, heh) roleplaying, or think that her date ("Robby") was as into vampires as she was? I kind of hope so (and I kind of don't), because even in the depths of my fakey Goth obsession, if some guy had come up to me and been all "in the darkest, most brooding velvet-draped shadows of my mind I could never dream of someone so perfect as you, aesc, now look at my pointy teeth," I would have kicked him in the goods and run for the door. I know, I know, it's horror and people will always go outside or go down to the basement where the demon-possessed serial killer is, but Kristen, sweetie, the second any guy starts suggesting you go down back alleys, scream for help, disable him, and run away. Aaaaaahhhhhhh! That was actually the scary part.

Okay, more scary: What the fuuuuuuuuck is up with Sam? He is pretty much right back to where he was when we found out about his demon blood habit, and I am not at all pleased. At all. What he did in this ep, basically watching Dean get turned... I feel like having one of them be turned was his plan all along. If it had been him, he would have handled it (he knew about the cure, after all), but if his bet turned out that Dean was on the wrong end of some sharp, pointy teeth, then that was a sacrifice he was willing to make.

Deep thought: Dean with blood on him will never not be hot.

Returning to Sam, it seems from the previews for next week that we're either moving closer to an answer or we'll have one about why it is I want to punch Sam in his stupid, under-emoting face. Really, I'm not surprised at all that Dean caught on within about 2 seconds, because, in a crazy sort of way, Jared is really great at being unconvincing to the point of utter transparency. He's practically screaming I AM UP TO SOMETHING AND IT'S SOME BAD SHIT, and really, Sam, not subtle! Not subtle at all. With reference to why Sam has to be pathetically unconvincing, I'm pretty sure it has something to do with his time in Hell. At first, I was thinking it had to do with him hanging out with the Campbell-Psycho clan, but now... Well, we don't know who brought him back, or why (Lucifer? Because he wants the apocalypse to happen like Raphael does? Someone else?), and it could be that Sam's crazy Machiavellian hunter schtick has to do with that.

I don't want to get into the previews for next week too much (although see below), but that's actually what I'm most interested in. We learned a bit more about the monsters, and it was pretty neat that the monster side of things has decided not to be afraid of hunters anymore. I mean, there are probably a lot more monsters than there are hunters to take care of things, and to be honest, if I were a shapeshifter or something, I'd be kind of tired of being hunted down too. Just let me shed my skin in peace, assholes! And that kind of makes me wonder if there aren't nicely assimilated monsters out there, taking their kids to Little League practice and working 9-5 and doing paint-by-numbers as a hobby. In fact, it would be sort of cool if Dean and Sam stumbled on a whole monster neighborhood (once I wrote a short story about a little girl who gets a new neighbor. The new neighbor is human, and the rest of the street--populated by blemmyae, cynocephali, sciopods, etc.--is very concerned. Anyway.) and seeing that not all monsters are bad monsters. Some of them just want to be left alone.

Okay, so pretty much none of the above has to do with vampires. Which I'm fine with. Dean being blood-covered and angsty is hot as all getout, and I approve of that very firmly. Sam being an asshole is very uncool, and he needs to straighten up. Bobby needs to make him. I hope some of this happens next week.

And speaking of next week....... CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS

.art: Bird of paradise (Dean/Cas) PG13

2010-10-19T14:43:27Z

Bird of paradise by trinityofone (Dean/Cas) R | ~34,000 (MASTERPOST)
Sufferin' snakes, you guys! Here is Trin's and my entry for the 2010 deancasbigbang! "Bird of Paradise" is absolutely stunning, and it was such a privilege to get to talk the fic out with Trin and do the art for it--such a privilege and so much fun, and many thanks and hugs to her for the encouragement, kind words, and being awesome company in the car on our extensive travels through New England. Please go read her fic, because it's awesome--and also I recommend that you read first, because one of the images in here is fairly spoileriffic. But if you don't mind being spoiled, click on! Under the cut are the full-sized version of the cover, two other illustrations, and the soundtrack.

Cover

The cover is one of the first times I've tried doing something vaguely like drawing/illustration mixed with my usual style of flinging various textures at a screencap and seeing what happens; I got the idea from a piece oatmeal_queen and I did together, where she drew the figure and I added in some texture stuff. Cas and Dean are loosely based on some stock photography, with some modifications. After I finished the drawing, then I flung various textures at it to see what would happen, and what ended up happening was this odd sort of phoenix-type thing.

To kill a mockingbird

This piece illustrates a scene in Part 3. If you haven't read the fic yet (and why not???), I won't say what part it is so I don't spoil you. To put this together, I used some photos as reference, and in Illustrator messed around with contrast and lines to de-age Cas, Dean, and Jo as much as I could and not have it look like I'd run Misha, Jensen, and Alona through some kind of totally freakish and unnatural de-aging program--sort of the reverse of those scary online thingies that will age a picture of your baby for you.

Bird of paradise

One of the images I very much wanted to work in was Ellen's bird of paradise pin, which is one of the touchstone items in the story, not only a token for Jo, but for Dean. The bird is a combination of bird stock image, desaturated and with contrast and brightness reduced to "solid black," and some curvy vector brushes for the tail. Then I turned the bird into a brush, set a dark blue texture as a pattern, and used the bird as a stamp. Added in some background textures and text from the fic, and there you have it. A solid black version forms the divider between sections in the fic.

Soundtrack

Track Listing

01. Salve Regina | choure gregorienne
02. Freedom Hangs Like Heaven | iron & wine
03. Que Sera Sera | pink martini
04. Dark Eyes | iron & wine and calexico
05. Drowning Man | u2
06. Hold Hands and Fight | the rosebuds
07. To Kill a Mockingbird | elmer bernstein
08. Your Protector | fleet foxes
09. Everywhere I Go | lissie
10. 100 Knives | mirah

download

.spn 6.04: or, BOBBEH!

2010-10-16T04:31:38Z

It's that time of year again. Yes, time to send out applications for things and work on my moisturizing. Not at the same time. More happily, it's also time for knitting. And time for another SPN episode review!

For being, once again, a Cas-less episode, this was pretty good. I mean, Bobby! Bobby being awesome and not taking any of the Winchesters' self-involved emo bullshit! Totally owning Crowley! Rufus! Sheriff Mills! On that last point, Trin and I were musing over a future project, and decided that Bobby and Sheriff Mills (whose first name I can't remember) really needed to be together. How awesome would that be?

One of the things I sort of love about Bobby is that all his friendships usually involve shouting and hostility at some point. I can't see him and Rufus ever getting along together for more than, oh, a day before they'd end up trying to kill each other, but their relationship works in a way I find very pleasing. Namely, Rufus isn't intimidated by Bobby's snarling, while Bobby sort of has to resign himself to that fact--and, in the meantime, they keep a running tally in a relationship that, judging from Rufus' willingness to go above and beyond and take the initiative in getting the ring, doesn't really need it. But they do it anyway, I imagine for old time's sake.

When Bobby remarked that he was still in Rufus' debt, it made me wonder if Rufus wasn't the hunter who took Bobby in, as it were, and introduced him to the hunting world after his wife died.

Then, of course, there's the Winchesters, whose epic of emotional vampirism and codependence has involved Bobby in some pretty unfortunate ways. It seems like Dean and Sam have fallen into the trap that a lot of kids have, namely, taking the presence and help of your (surrogate) parents for granted--odd, when you considering what happened to their family.

Wandering off on a tangent, I'm very much interested in the expansions of the lore surrounding demons and deals that we've been getting in the past couple of episodes. I love the idea of the contract in the flesh (I mean, where else is it going to be written?), and the little subclauses and qualifications that are apparently written in. I like to imagine that Crowley picked all this up from his time spent in the poor book publisher he's been wearing around. And speaking of wearing... So demons can be treated like ghosts, basically? That might have been a helpful thing to know back during the apocalypse, although clearly that strategy is time-consuming and depends on actually being able to find the demon's original remains. Still, nifty.

Another tangent: CAS AND CROWLEY NEED TO BE IN THE SAME ROOM TOGETHER. I mean, come on, it's perfect! Cas is bitterly disappointed in his brothers' continued dickishness and refusal to stop fighting. Crowley can't stand demons who won't change and realize there's a better way to do things. They can commiserate, and Crowley can improve Cas's palate by introducing him to expensive Scotch--which, of course, the Winchesters would never have done. To reiterate: IT'S PERFECT! WHY ARE YOU NOT DOING IT?

Nitpicky stuff: Okay, the timeline was just wacky. It's, like, a two day drive from Sioux Falls to Andover and back, and that's assuming you don't sleep. MAPQUEST IS YOUR FRIEND, WRITERS. Then, somehow, Dean and Sam hop a plane (with forged passports I'm assuming) to Scotland, drive out to the middle of nowhere without dying (oh God, Dean in a tiny British car! It was hilarious enough to dampen my annoyance briefly; see also "forged international driver's license"), find a random tiny church, and dig up Crowley's old bones. That's more than a weekend; it's at least a week. And writers, Cas totally could have helped with the "flying Dean and Sam to Scotland" thing, and the timeline would have been not as insane. Also, it would have been awesome.

Also, when the woodchipper showed up, I knew what was going to happen. Still, I did not look away in time. Seriously, seriously unpleasant.

Overall impressions: Caslessness and a crazy timeline interfered with some of the episode for me, but even so, Bobby's awesomeness came through undiluted.

The Mystery of Where the Hell Is the Freaking Lighthouse

2010-10-14T01:06:27Z

Woe, all good things must come to an end: I had to put trinityofone on a plane back to California today. My fun is over, and the real world resumes tomorrow, when I send out some more letters asking people to please hire me to teach their students about medieval stuff next year.

This past week has been a metric ton of awesome times, food, fic, squee, and so much more. One of the highlights may be our bizarre, unexpected detour into midcentury children's mysteries, especially the scintillating prose of those famous psychological thrillers, the Hardy Boys books. One thing led to another--possibly imagining Dean and Sam solving things like The Mystery in the Old House or The Clue in the Motel Room--and we picked up a copy of The Secret Warning, which features the boys ineptly solving something involving a golden Egyptian artifact, when not busy attending parties (that are over by seven thirty), weight-shaming their "friend" Chet Morton, and zipping around in their convertible. Their dad, Fenton Hardy, occasionally helps out when he's not having mad, hotel-room sex with his sandy-haired, muscular "operative," Sam Radley.

In the spirit of Franklin W. Dixon, most of the rest of this post will be written in the style of... well, Franklin W. Dixon, wherever they may be.

(Originally, Trin and I were going to meet in Chicago, but RL intervened. Instead of watching Misha and Jared (and Jensen!) be awesome in person, we watched a video of their panel. Usually, watching con videos induces sudden-onset fremdschämen in me, so I don't often watch them, but this one was pretty great. Also, I spent part of it being crushed by an extremely jealous Finn, who did not like that Trin and I were making shrill, happy noises over someone who was not him.)

The two young women were zooming along in their sensible compact car up Route 16 when they noticed a strange sight!

"You know, Aesc, I think the back of that truck says 'Fried Dough,'" Trin told her companion. "You think maybe there's a fair or carnival going on around here?"

"Jumping Jupiter!" The tall, poorly-coiffed girl's eyes widened. "Trin, I think you're onto something here!" She paused thoughtfully, tapping her fingers on the wheel. "And unless I'm very much mistaken, that cursive writing on the top says 'Jensen's'!"

"Suffering snakes!" exclaimed the girl in the denim skirt. "That's amazing!"

"Good night!" exclaimed Aesc.

After their exciting encounter with the Jensen's Fried Dough truck, the two girls drove their sensible compact car up the coast to Booth Bay. After an exciting adventure involving a phantom lighthouse and a state park that charged $6 for nonresidents to enter, the two fangirls decided they would try to find another lighthouse. Trin gritted her teeth in frustration as she consulted the map.

"These things are just all over the place!" she said in a low tone of frustration. "Whatever are we going to do, Aesc?"

"Maybe," Aesc suggested, "we ought to drive on up to Boothbay. According to the map, we can't go out to the lighthouses, but I bet we can see them from shore!"

"Gosh, that sounds just the thing!" Trin agreed.

They drove their sensible compact car up Route 1 a little further, and followed the signs for Boothbay.

"I say, Trin, things look mighty quiet around here!" Aesc said, surveying the town after they got out of their car. The almost empty streets had few people walking down them, and several shops had begun to close for the season. "It sure looks like people are closing down for the season!"

"Jeepers!" Trin exclaimed, eyes widening in surprise, "I think you're right!"

Then they went and ate a bowl of fish chowder with saltines, purchased some saltwater taffy and a used book, and drove out to Ocean Point in their sensible compact car.

"Boy, these rocks sure are hard!" Aesc puffed in amazement as she clambered over them. "It sure is something!"

The two girls looked at each other in stunned surprise.

"Good night!" Trin exclaimed in surprise as she saw the massive gray house sitting on the hill. "You know, Aesc, I bet you anything we've just stumbled on a possible fannish commune, where fangirls can all live and be awesome together!"

"You're right about that one!" Aesc agreed. "Do you think the owners would mind if we just went in and looked around?"

After the two fangirls finished solving the mystery of Where The Fucking Hell Are The Fucking Lighthouses?, they embarked on their very next mystery, Where The Hell Is Our Dinner? and their last (for now!) thrilling chase, How Do We Get Home From Here?</center>

Aesc And Trin Do New England

2010-10-12T00:29:49Z

So this week is National Trin And Aesc Do New England Week, 2010 Edition. There has been much driving, eating, buying of books, and yes, making shrill noises over how awesome Cas and Dean are. (And there may be fic! With pie!) There's also been a lot of picture-taking, as we've made our way from state to state. Beneath the cut are 23 of them, and their contents include, but are not necessarily limited to: penguins, fishes, and a mummy.

PENGUINS!!!!

DISAPPROVING PENGUIN DISAPPROVES OF YOUR LIFE CHOICES.

The sea dragon-horse things were in this tank that made us vaguely queasy to look at. But... so pretteh!

SEAL! SEAL SCRATCHING HIS CHIN!

Boston Library and environs. Isn't this commentary brilliant? It's why you're here, after all.

The next day, we went out to Portland, to see the Head Light and then to wander around the town. I've been to the Head Light before, but that day was the absolute best day I've ever had out there.

After clambering around the rocks and being buffeted by the wind, we went into town and investigated almost every used bookstore we could find, including one that houses the International Cryptozoology Museum, and this other totally awesome bookstore that sells pretty much anything old and having to do with vinyl (as in records) and/or scifi. It's the sort of bookstore Dean Winchester would own, and own proudly. (We may have spent the drive back discussing this in detail.)

Yesterday we drove over to Vermont, for more sight-seeing and the consumption of even more food. I walked across this railroad trestle on one of the long support beams right next to the track.

The Middlebury Cemetery includes among its residents a 3,900-year-old mummy, Amum-Her-Khepesh-Ef. You would figure that, this being America, the Middlebury tourism people would have put up a neon sign and a snack bar to advertise the mummy's presence and get some money out of it, but they haven't. Trin and I missed the grave on the first try, and only found it when I turned to her to suggest that we go back before it got dark and weird and spooky (and also, I was hungry), and saw the ankh out of the corner of my eye. You'll notice that the mummy received a Christian burial, and that the cross takes precedence over the ankh and bird carved in (quickly, it appears) beneath it.

On the way back to New Hampshire, we tried (and failed) to stop off at the Robert Frost Trail, which is of course the trail that inspired the poem that torments every American schoolkid, "The Road Not Taken" (it is the yellow wood). Instead of doing that, we got stuck behind a lumber truck and decided, because being stuck behind a lumber truck is boring, to pull over and do some exploring. One of the places we found is this tiny, forgotten cemetery right off the road. Aside from the stone sitting by itself, the others are worn almost to nothing.

You wouldn't believe the color of the sky today.

.in other news: Yessss, I just downloaded logo-free 6.03 caps, which means... CASIFESTO UPDATE. Also, my exchange fic has been posted at some point in the not-too-distant past, but consider that a warning.

.spn 6.03: or, you can probably guess what I'm going to say

2010-10-09T05:58:54Z

I have a trinityofone! Who better to watch Cas's return to TV with?

CAS ON MY TEEVEE

I have now seen this episode twice, and that's pretty much all I can come up with. I mean, where the fuck do I even start? After much consultation with trinityofone, I can safely say I really have no idea. My brain is still stuck on OH MY GOD CAS and JESUS CHRIST I LOVE YOU BEN EDLUND and OH MY GOD CAS, with a bit of helpless flailing and grinning thrown into the mix.

Seriously, people. I admit (SORRY insight2 I AM WEAK AND FALLIBLE) I caved earlier this week and watched the preview clip of this episode, so I was very ridiculously pleased that Cas decided to answer Dean praying, as you may imagine. But I have no clue what to say about this episode, except, well, I really liked it a whole fucking lot. I mentioned to Trin, who sat right next to me and made shrill noises with me, that this episode reminds you--in case you really needed the reminder--about everything that Cas is: badass, socially inept, completely lacking in patience with respect to anything resembling stupidity ("what part of 'I don't know' escapes your understanding?") possessing "rusty" "people skills," regretful but resolute, aware of his bad sense of humor, determined to do what he must, crushed that his family is more or less past redemption, and involved with Dean on some level that was probably just mentioned for the specific purpose of torturing us.

(Like, come on, I DIDN'T MEAN TO BRING IT UP. STOP FUCKING WITH US, EDLUND. Have them make out already geez goddamn wtf.)

So, yeah, I don't know what to say, except I fucking love Castiel, and I am overall so ridiculously pleased at how he's come back that I really can't say anything constructive. I will try to say more later, particularly with reference to Sam (Who now has no business whatsoever critiquing Dean's previous or current sexual behavior), and a bit more about Dean, but for now.... CAS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Instead, have a few pretty pictures to tide you over until the inevitable Casifesto update. Because that will be happening as soon as I can get my thoughts together, oh yes. And in the meantime, feel free to shriek and squeal at me in comments.

the happiest public restroom stall in Boston

2010-10-05T23:54:31Z

As reported yesterday, I had to go to Boston to do vaguely professional-type things. It was a nice trip and everything went well. More on that in a minute, but I wanted to start out by saying that, if you need cheering up, go to the first stall in the women's restroom at the Alewife T Station's main entrance (Cambridge Park side, not Russell Street) and read the wall.

Usually public bathroom walls in mass-transit hubs are a repository for the worst scratchings of the human hindbrain. But this wall, despite the determination of some misguided custodian, was like my daily affirmation written in permanent marker: a half-illegible quotation from Eleanor Roosevelt (eulogized as "The Best" in ballpoint pen); "Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind," attributed to Dr. Seuss; "I love my scottie toujours," either an ode to a girl's boyfriend or her pet dog... and my personal favorite, written just above the broken toilet paper dispenser and undaunted by the janitor's assaults with heavy-duty solvent, "Everything will be alright [sic]."

Aside from the fact that I tend to expect much worse written on the walls of mass-transit station bathrooms and was surprised to find an exception to the rule, I found myself caught, wondering why I think nothing will be all right, and when this started. I have a hard time pinpointing when, precisely, my brain took a turn to the pessimistic; I know it started when my depression decided to come and hang around, but the process of realizing that I was depressed took so long, and is so foggy, that I don't quite know when I went from a girl who decided she could do anything if she worked her butt off, and took disappointment in stride, to a woman who believes her life is spent trying to convince everyone she's intelligent and competent, and who lives in fear that, sooner or later, she'll be found out for the fraud she is and laughed out of her profession, her family, and her friendships.

Today, for example, I went to see an old professor to talk about the job market and get his advice on some project proposals I had put together. I spent the drive down (and most of the weekend, it must be said) imagining him saying my proposals were shallow, derivative, had nothing to contribute to scholarship, and on top of it all, were so poorly thought-out he had to call up some colleagues and laugh about it. I'm exaggerating on the "had to call up some colleagues and laugh about it" part, but in my mind, it didn't matter that I've known this man for ages, that he and I consider each other colleagues and friends, that he's shown nothing but respect and support for my work, and has never once said anything bad about my stuff; I was convinced, or at least the relentlessly negative part of my brain (i.e. most of it) was convinced, that this would be that inevitable time when the scales fell from his eyes and he found himself wondering what the goddamn hell he saw in aesc to begin with.

And I just... I don't fucking understand it sometimes. Call it the stupidity of youth, but I did some fairly dramatic things when I was younger, some gambles that involved either peril to my physical health or long-term financial consequences, and they came up aces. I used to ride horses competitively, and I rode amateur/owner and open by the time I was 18--the step beneath professional/grand prix, basically--and that entails doing some fairly demanding things demanding of all the courage and foolhardiness in your ovaries. And, y'know, I did them. And I was pretty kick-ass. If I won, that was awesome, and I rode the high for days (even a great round where I didn't win is still a fucking great thrill to remember, I wish I could describe it). If I didn't, well, it was back to the grind, fixing the problems, and knowing I'd work past them. Later on I dropped my major, moved 1,500 miles away, transferred, and basically started on the course I'm currently on with no guarantees that the things I wanted--grad school, a career in my favorite field--would ever happen. But I did it, because the potential gains were worth the risk.

So it bothers me--no, "bothers" isn't the right word... torments? Tortures? Rides me like a demon, I suppose, that the part of me that pulled off all sorts of stupid shit and made it work now hesitates, or outright refuses, can only think of rejection and failure where once I would have said "The hell with it, let's do it and see where it goes." It's like my skin has thinned, my tolerance for failure, my ability to see failure as temporary and able to be corrected, has diminished to where I'm now a ball of anxiety and insecurity.

I want to be back in the day when I believed everything would be alright. Even when I was thirteen and ruthlessly ostracized at school and coping with merciless classmates and a body I hated, some part of me knew it would be okay, because all that misery would vanish when I climbed onto my horse and the world got back into its proper rhythm again, the three-count of my horse's canter as we worked our way around a course. Everything would be all right because I could work to make it so; I knew what I was going through would pass over eventually. Now, though... I don't know. Whatever's broken in me steadfastly refuses to be fixed, this conviction that lies underneath the things I know intellectually, that says I'm really not very good at anything except the most trivial things, that I'm always on the outside of the places I only wish I could be.

So, yeah. I don't know why I can't go for it anymore, why I'm so surprised when good things happen--when I get fellowships, when someone likes my fucking art, for god's sake, when people actually want to be around me and talk to me. Good things do happen, everything will be okay with work and, yes, some luck. I'm talented, I've got guts, so why is it so hard now to push aside that small "maybe you shouldn't, you won't succeed anyway?" voice and just fucking go for it? When you're going for speed on a course and you can cut time by taking a line of jumps in four strides instead of five, you go for it right after the horse lands from the first jump. You don't hesitate; you go all in, you get it done. And when it works, it's the best feeling in the world. I want to shout, just thinking about how that feels. My postdoc and novel might not be as immediately visceral, but why the fear? Why am I so convinced they are and will be terrible, and utter failures?

A lot of the time, people talk about wishing they could go back to their younger selves and give them advice. I wish my younger self could tell me a thing or two. Like, you know, everything will be alright (sic). Since neither she nor I can time travel, though, I'll take what I can get--in this case, a helpful reminder from someone who, like me, may have ducked in because she'd had too much coffee on her morning commute and, while waiting for events to unfold, remembered she had a permanent marker in her purse.

So, anonymous bathroom user, this screwed-up, appreciative human salutes you. And you too, MTBA custodian, for not going in with the steel wool and acid and magic eraser.

putting the DEAD in "deadline" since 2010

2010-10-05T03:48:02Z

Just checking in to say:

1.) I am, in fact, not dead. Just insanely, horrifically busy. It's not even the good kind of busy, where I'm making concrete strides in doing something cool and productive, like actually finishing my dissertation or my novel... it's just doing repetitive, uninteresting, yet necessary crap so that I might eventually be able to be productive in more substantial ways. Emphasis on "might."
2.) The low point of my existence: Putting together a postdoc application package in a matter of hours. Don't do this, people. Just... don't.
3.) I have 24 things due in the next month and a half. The 24 does not include my dissertation, which is also due, but is too depressing to contemplate.
4.) 99.999% of my weekend was spent seeing, hearing, and breathing family. I do love them a whole lot, but they are really exhausting to be around.

They also caused me to miss SPN 6.02, and thus break my streak of writing substantial episode response posts. But I will say, after finally seeing the ep... Okay, seriously, that episode fucked with my childfree ovaries in the worst way. Damn you, Jensen Ackles, for looking all hot and competent with a baby! (And you too, Misha Fucking Collins.) The only thing that straightened them out was the reminder that, yes, a baby may look sweet and adorable, but it can mutate into a terrifying, skin-shedding, exploding monster at any minute. So I take this as a cautionary tale.

I am very much loving the common sense that Lisa brings to Dean's world. Dean's spent 32 years or so of his life living at the extremes--you either have everything or nothing at all--and having a brother who is hardly lukewarm in either his affections or his dis-affections, so having someone say "Hey, let's try for the middle ground here" is kind of revolutionary. And God knows, I love her about, oh, a billion trillion zillion times more than the Campbells; like, the highlight of the episode for me was one of them dying. I'm sorry, Mary's extended family, but you're assholes and I'm not a fan of you.

As those of you who have seen the previews may know, I have a good and substantial reason to be REALLY SERIOUSLY FREAKING EXCITED about Certain Events happening this Friday.

In order to get to this Friday, though, I need to accomplish two major things: First, meeting with a former prof tomorrow down in Boston, and second driving back to Boston on Wednesday to do something far more awesome: Pick up trinityofone so we can go on our Aesc and Trin Do New England Tour. And yes, we will be watching SPN together, and yes, it will be the best thing ever.

In fannish news: I'm working on some long-term, largeish projects right now, and those are eating up the few bits of free time between epic trudges through the dissertation and the job market. My BigBang art is done, though, and I am ridiculously excited about it.

.spn 6.01: or, boys are back!

2010-09-25T02:02:41Z

The following are my real-time thoughts about SPN 6.01. I was going to Tweet all this originally, but it would be derivative and maybe unoriginal, and I have friends who probably wouldn't appreciate the spoilers. So here's everything I would have Tweeted, plus some extra rambling.

Oh Dean. I have the feeling I'm going to be saying this a lot.

I don't know why, but the truck with the Indiana plates pleases me. It's like my state is temporarily cool by association.

Great opening sequence.

"Really! Pest control?"

Okay, I will admit my excitement levels were kind of (oh-ho, DJ Sam?) "meh-ish" about the premiere. Pretty much all of S5 was an exercise in angst and terror, and despite my issues with the finale--and knowing it was going to set up for S6--it did have that "end-of-series" cathartic feeling. So part of me was all "Yay! S6! More Cas!" but another part was all "But... but it's over, why are you excited?"

Now, though, I am all sorts of excited. I can't wait to see where this episode and the rest of the season is going.

Oh, Dean, you can't stay away from the hunt :(

It feels weird to have bright, saturated colors in SPN. My world has suddenly become strange.

The Bleekman's dog looks an awful lot like the Hellhound from "Yellow Fever."

Oh, Impala you poor girl. Stowed under a tarp like that.

"Did you almost shoot a Yorkie?" You know, I'm sure the Lisa-haters will detest me, but I really like her. I mean, how the hell do you put up with living with someone who is as obviously fucked-up and habituated to a fucked-up lifestyle as Dean Winchester? And none of this is the type of stuff you can bring up in therapy, or with your friends. Like, what the hell do you say? "My partner traveled the country killing cockroaches and silverfish his entire life and this really messed him up"?

Thought: Holy fuck, Sam is responsible for the sulfur? Maybe?

Waiting for something scary and alarming to happen.

HOLY SHIT AZAZEL?!

God, you are a twisted, twisted fuck. I'm happy you brought Cas back and all, but SERIOUSLY?!

Oh, Dean. Again :(

Back from break

Hey look, it's Sam.

Wait, poisoned? Hallucinating? That makes no sense. (Note from future-aesc: Okay, djinn-poisoning, interesting.)

Hmmm, mystery tiems. How did Sam get out of the box? And Cas, ignoring him! Maybe Cas only pays attention to Dean.

Jesus Christ, Sam! What kills me is that Sam really does not get it. He imagines Dean would react the way Sam would have, i.e. avoiding the hunting life when confronted with the possibility of returning to it. I wonder if it ever occurred to him to say "Oh hey, I'm back, but you keep doing your thing," even if there's no chance Dean would have taken him up on that offer. Goddammit, Sam!

"My god, you have delicate features for a hunter."

Thank you, Sera, for remembering that all the Campbells are supposed to be dead. Hurray for third cousins x-times removed!

I have the feeling I should totally not have said I liked Lisa.

Now I may have to use the commercial break to prepare a rant about -- OH MY GOD DEATHLY HALLOWS PART ONE TRAILER -- how I will be really annoyed if Lisa and Ben end up being Dean's Mary.

Back from break

Oh thank god. *deletes half-finished rant*

Jesus christ, Ben is cute as a button.

"Tv's broken, but there's plenty of Reader's Digest." Oh, Bobby <3333333

OH DEAN OH DEAN OH DEAN I can't say it enough :(

Dammit, I want to hug Lisa, too. Also, I'd like Sera Gamble to marry me. PLEASE MARRY ME SERA. I don't care if Indiana doesn't allow same-sex marriage.

I was onboard with Grandpa Campbell, but I don't entirely know about multiple third cousins.

"It's a sport." Oh, Dean.

"I'll have to look that up on the Intranet." Oh, Grandpa Campbell.

I've rambled a lot in various venues about how awesome it is that Dean's associated with the feminine. And it's so fucking true: Dean is a lot more like Mary than he ever was like John. Thank you, Grandpa Campbell, for pointing that out. And OMG GENEALOGY! But if Dean had ancestors on the Mayflower... I wonder how many of them ended up having a bit too much fun up at the witch trials.

Interesting that Sam, back in S4, was all "OMG DEAN WHY WON'T YOU OPEN UP TO ME ABOUT THE MOST TRAUMATIC AND HORRIBLE THING THAT COULD EVER HAPPEN TO A HUMAN BEING????" and now he's all "Dude, don't wanna talk about it." I hope this means that we won't be subjected to more of Sam's soulful "tell me all your secrets or God kills a puppy" looks and micro-lectures on the importance of being open about sensitive things. At least Sam is still monotone and quasi-emotional.

Oh my god this is like Inception. I made you a dream in a dream in a dream in a dream in a dream. STOP MESSING WITH MY HEAAAAAD.

Whoa! Grandpa Campbell is up to something sneaky.

Back from break

The last commercial break is always the most frustrating.

SAM JESUS F. Do you want Dean to go with you or do you want him to stay with Lisa and Ben? I'm sensing a lot of uncertainty, which I can appreciate, but on the other hand... Maybe I'm so fed up with post-S4 Sam, even if he did eventually come around, that I automatically put the worst possible spin on things. So I couldn't help but hear some of that speech as emotional blackmail.

Sam totally has a douchey iPod jack in his car. You know it.

Very odd ending. I was pretty much ready for Dean to hop in that car with Sam and go off to figure out what the hell is going on (and yeah, I was hoping for it), so Dean's decision to stay with Lisa and Ben was kind of "whoa, hey, switcheroo!" And I felt inclined to dislike that at first, but now, after reflecting on it for a few seconds, I like that decision. I know the season is supposed to follow the earlier S1/S2 format, with the MOTW and so on. And some of that probably means roadtrip. I really hope they get back to that, because dammit, that's SPN. But it's also Dean, in some sense, to hold out; he has pretty pressing reasons to stay home, and I can't see him reacting like Sam did back in S1, just pulling stakes like that and going out to look for blood.

Final thoughts: It looks like some of the conflict this season might come out of Dean wanting to be out of the hunt. His desire to stay out seems to come from that same responsibility that kept him hunting in the first place. Dammit, Dean, put down the cross. Someone needs the wood.

Also: NEEDS MORE CAS.

Next week: Oh god, babies. SCARIEST MONSTERS EVER.

strap on your party hat!

2010-09-19T14:20:19Z

Happy birthday, amberlynne! Here is a card from Eric for you.

Arrrrr, it also be Intarnational Talk Like a Pirate Day, ye scurvy dogs. Lift yer flagons high, mateys, or I'll hang ye in the riggin', savvy?

help me decide!

2010-09-17T00:01:55Z

Is this amazing or horrifying?

Paradise Lost to become ass-kicking 3D action film, as God intended

In news that sounds vaguely like a throwaway joke on an episode of The Critic, John Milton’s epic 17th-century poem Paradise Lost will be transformed into “an action vehicle that will include aerial warfare” to be helmed by The Crow and I, Robot director Alex Proyas, most likely in 3D. That added dimension will help to flesh out Milton’s underlying themes about the nature of sin and free will—by which we mean turn them into a story about devils and archangels kicking ass, occasionally through aerial warfare.

I'm torn between rolling my eyes, LOLing forever, and desperately wanting to see this. The actual action part is fairly thin in most of Paradise Lost, because Adam and Raphael spend a lot of time talking about angel sex and the nature of the world, but Eve is ready-made for a brainless piece of arm candy, and dude, devils and angels kicking ass, so there's that.

Castiel would probably be severely irritated, and contemptuous when the angels are nowhere near as badass as he is.

Also I am probably going to be around here posting fic, art, and other random, unimportant shit for the next couple of months. It's work and postdoc app season, and I want to barf all over my computer just thinking about it.

turkeys!

2010-09-16T01:28:46Z

Those of you who have known me for a while know that I have a very great fondness for turkeys. Specifically, the wild turkeys who live near my parents' house, and who are also the inspiration for my SGA turkey!verse (see links above, and yes I know I am insane). Usually they disappear during the summer, although I did see lots of adorable baby turkeys (turklets?) this year, and return in the fall, once turkey season starts. I think they know the area around the house is private property with no hunters allowed.

Anyway, here they are on their daily afternoon parade down the street. John is in front, confidently leading them up to Highway 109.

ETA!! Forgetting things left and right... You all really REALLY need to check out twentysomething's totally amazing and in all other ways perfect AU, Excerpts from Carver Edlund's magnum opus. It's a Bones/SPN fusion in which Cas is the forensic anthropologist, Dean is the FBI agent subliminally and pathetically attracted to him, and soon-to-be Dr. Shurley writes pervy stories about the two of them. GO AND REAAAAAD.

.æ.