http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BbpSkTPr1g0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7cfUdTrO70E

I drove up to the city at night and found the place
Where you grew up and then where you stayed
And we walked around and stayed up late under city lights
I spent the night, next to you in the house where you grew up
Next to you I miraculously woke up
In your parents' house I laid in bed with you

I went back to feel alone there
I went back to wipe it clean

I took the lights and radio towers out of my dreams
And we went all the way up to the small town where I'm from
With foggy air and the wind and the mountain top
And we clung to rocks and looked off and you held my hand
You almost got to start feeling me
I finally felt like I was breathing free
Under swaying trees we fell asleep and we had the same dream
The stars were bright, we dream the same every night
On my island home I spent some time with you

I went back to feel alone there
I went back there by myself
I gave up on everything that we'd felt

We found a precious place in the sand right out in the wind
And we laid under a blanket and heard the furious sound
The roar of waves, the pounding surf, two bodies on the earth
It was intense just getting to be there next to you
And you trying to get me then, and I was happy to let you in

I went back and wished I hadn't
I went back and felt regret
I went to the beach and I stared west

Every night when the sun went down in the town where we lived
The empty streets were lit up by reflected light from a distant sun
Bouncing off a glowing ball of rock and we just laid on the roof
And watched the moon, the moon, the blue light of the moon
We didn't talk and silently we both felt powerful
And, like the moon, my chest was full because we both knew
We're just floating in space over molten rock
And we felt safe and we discovered that our skin is soft
There's nothing left except certain death
And that was comforting at night out under the moon

I went out last night to forget that
I went out and stared it down
But the moon stared back at me
And in its light I saw my two feet on the ground

Mom was making me all wistful today on the phone, talking about the 6 (!) stalks of brussels sprouts she nabbed at the farmer's market this weekend (granted, she had to brave slush-snow in the early morning all alone, as my dad didn't want to get out of bed in that weather...I don't blame him). She asked if I ever bought it that way and then corrected herself immediately, "oh wait, really you're supposed to only pick them after a frost, and you don't get those there much" ha. She has the luxury of storing them (those stalks are big!) in the semi-outdoors in the garage--that's Rochester for you. Earlier this morning I stumbled on Mark Bittman's recipe for sauerbraten and saw he says to pickle the meat for the 3 days in the fridge. My parents never did; we just stuck the crocks in the garage or basement and it was so cold it was fine. I don't have the kind of fridge space needed for all the things we made, took for granted could just sit out in the open like that!

It was a cold but clear sunny afternoon and I was plucking pomegranate seeds for a salad, one by one despite knowing there's ways to cheat (float them in water so the pithy stuff comes up, etc.). I loved it, the whole time I kept thinking about the first time I ever encountered a pomegranate. It was on an afternoon a lot like this, cold and clear and wintery, and I had just come in from the cold walking home from middle school. My dad was at the kitchen counter patiently, fastidiously seeding a pomegranate in anticipation of a late afternoon snack. My eyes popped out of my head and I just stood beside him watching intently until he finished. He could've been, I dunno, massaging a live starfish and it'd have been equivalent in terms of how fascinated and shocked I was. I'd never seen anything like it. Come to think of it, I'm not sure where he even acquired one--I never saw my mom put one in the shopping basket or anything. (Huh, I bet he went out especially for one that day after sitting at home alone thinking about it...I'd never considered that until now, ha.) Even later we only ever bought them around Christmastime at the farmer's market, and mostly because by then I'd become obsessed (I get the impression my mom doesn't see the point in fussing with them).

I love seeding them. It takes some time and gentleness and yeah, patience, but you can do it slowly, secure in the knowledge it'll be worth it. It makes me feel like a squirrel, you know, looking at them with an acorn in their paws. They have that patient, careful but eager expression on their face. Those busy happy hands.