late thanks
redundant, yet missing everything, i'm sure:
.being alive. every day i'm gently shocked, sometimes notsogentlyshocked (at night usually) that i'm still here. i still have a chance to breathe and walk around. and my body doesn't hurt, really.
.that said, my health
.correspondance (i always spell it wrong, la)
.relationships, interaction (even though i'm about as introverted as you can get, what is it, schizoid personality, and anyway...but the few moments are everything and i may spend years in the internal workshop sifting them through, thinking them over)
.my family, especially. --!
.the moments, the art
.memory (i don't like dismissing pain, and no, i'm not a masochist. i don't like dismissing pain.)
.food and cooking and market and bakeries
.sensory experience, my, this individual perception
.color and lack of, contrast (...warmth and coolness. thinness and depth.yes.)
.growing. gardens and learning.
.bed, sleep
.i am sometimes ashamed or scared because i've been so comfortable, but yes, my family's comfortable financial setting. we are not rich. but i can enjoy oranges and albums and day trips.
.my understanding of what god is, to me (and only me--i never want to profess what i think god is for someone else. just my limited vision.)
.lives that i found, issa and proust and smart and hesse and adam and emma and julia and who else...
.the boy i am in love with. i am so smitten and he is so warm.
.warm things to drink
.seasons (i think i would become hollow in a place without the change of seasons), especially fall and winter
.getting a whole lifetime to get to know me. no, really. this isn't selfhelp lingo. (laugh) it's...not easy to explain.
.ferocity and gentleness, softness after the blow
.physicality and mind, both. sex has become important and full of possibility now. and development. i was late, i think. and i always loved conversation.
.getting well, getting better. that feeling of repair or regeneration is such a miracle. do you know it? nurses and cool sheets and falling, deep. and waking up to white silence and what lingers and curls.
.the sea
.rochester, home, movement, stillness.
.a desire to try
.the forest, the creatures. the furry and furrowed and dark but bright natural world.
.my library
.all the time spent for personal histories
.the capacity to be blown away sometimes. by a line, a gesture.
.the way things come back, lap. at your arms your ankles your neck your memory your present.
.my hope
.being alive. every day i'm gently shocked, sometimes notsogentlyshocked (at night usually) that i'm still here. i still have a chance to breathe and walk around. and my body doesn't hurt, really.
.that said, my health
.correspondance (i always spell it wrong, la)
.relationships, interaction (even though i'm about as introverted as you can get, what is it, schizoid personality, and anyway...but the few moments are everything and i may spend years in the internal workshop sifting them through, thinking them over)
.my family, especially. --!
.the moments, the art
.memory (i don't like dismissing pain, and no, i'm not a masochist. i don't like dismissing pain.)
.food and cooking and market and bakeries
.sensory experience, my, this individual perception
.color and lack of, contrast (...warmth and coolness. thinness and depth.yes.)
.growing. gardens and learning.
.bed, sleep
.i am sometimes ashamed or scared because i've been so comfortable, but yes, my family's comfortable financial setting. we are not rich. but i can enjoy oranges and albums and day trips.
.my understanding of what god is, to me (and only me--i never want to profess what i think god is for someone else. just my limited vision.)
.lives that i found, issa and proust and smart and hesse and adam and emma and julia and who else...
.the boy i am in love with. i am so smitten and he is so warm.
.warm things to drink
.seasons (i think i would become hollow in a place without the change of seasons), especially fall and winter
.getting a whole lifetime to get to know me. no, really. this isn't selfhelp lingo. (laugh) it's...not easy to explain.
.ferocity and gentleness, softness after the blow
.physicality and mind, both. sex has become important and full of possibility now. and development. i was late, i think. and i always loved conversation.
.getting well, getting better. that feeling of repair or regeneration is such a miracle. do you know it? nurses and cool sheets and falling, deep. and waking up to white silence and what lingers and curls.
.the sea
.rochester, home, movement, stillness.
.a desire to try
.the forest, the creatures. the furry and furrowed and dark but bright natural world.
.my library
.all the time spent for personal histories
.the capacity to be blown away sometimes. by a line, a gesture.
.the way things come back, lap. at your arms your ankles your neck your memory your present.
.my hope