depressed. the day is so different when you're with someone you love--the color of it, the way time feels on your skin, all of that. and i don't usually focus on how fucking dismal pittsburgh has been in terms of company, and how every year's banner word is "settle" (joined with "alone alone alone!"), no i don't dwell on it, i push that to the side because i know hallways are more bearable and cleaner smelling if you just forget. administering amnesia, it's medicine. so opening my eyes again, that rare time when it's alright to, i'm with people who know me and see me, makes me distraught when it's time to go to sleep again. every day is winter hibernation, but they know that. they know i'm.