so what did we learn today, mb? mm, that you frighten easily at strange men ten plus years older than you approaching you at night in unlit if semipublic areas. two men speaking amongst themselves and grinning widely at me, then asking me abruptly questions like whether i'm married and which bus stop i plan to get off at and if i waitress and that's why i'm hanging around oakland so late at night, and do i like beer by the way and would i like to go get something to drink together?. then offering me rich smelling leftovers in brown paper sacks from the restaurant at which they'd just had supper. and you declining because your mom and dad and daycare center monitors always used to tell you about not taking candy from strangers, even really good candy. ha.

thinking because i can't help it, this is better reasoning to go out in a hooded jacket or with shorn hair than rain or laziness. different comfort. negative. man.

and yes i hate knowing there is the very real possibility all of my fears are just pure paranoia, unwarranted and limiting. g'ah.