*and this is not to say, people have never been tremendous and tremulous powers of ! to undeserving you, mb, but don't you ever ever ever ever feel safe in that. NEVER. don't give yourself more space and reasons to be cut. as if it wasn't bad already.

i mean, there are times. there is always a sometimes. somewhere.

(but who's someone?? could make a difference)

got a lot of random responses to an away message saying (only halfjokingly) "why the fuck don't you ever call me when you say you will. aaaaaaar."

there is no one you can ever count on. sometimes to survive you distract yourself from this*, mary beth, but don't ever really forget that it's the truth. and it always will be.

i haven't wanted to slit my throat this badly in quite a while.

i feel 35 with nowhere to go but further under.