absolution and rice shopping bollywood. / and ryan adams could be the biggest asshole in the world,

Listens: it's alright at least because of his live cover of "helpless" with gillian welch. i still stand firm on this.

the being alone. but memories and kgb bar books and gina berriault almost make you worse.

down in the lame-hipster area of rochester today, just passing by. and daydreaming outside windows. i wish i could get over my sadness and over myself. i hate feeling old in all the negative ways and young with all of its negative symptoms, too. meanwhile...

it rained all day and was dark and drippy damp. i shivered in my sleeves and remembered a song that used to make me smile; i forget if i ever put it on a tape for anyone i loved or love still.

"love still," hm.

when will this end.

i never cared much for moonlit skies
i never winked back at fireflies
but now that the stars are in your eyes
i'm beginning to see the light.

i never went in for afterglow
or candlelight on the mistletoe
but now when you turn the lamp down low
i'm beginning to see the light.

i used to ramble through the park
shadowboxing in the dark
then you came and caused a spark
that's a four alarm fire now.

i never made love by lantern shine
i never saw rainbows in my wine
but now that your lips are burning mine
i'm beginning to see the light.


i also spent part of today remembering important fragments from back then, scattered, and also took edith frost's sadder voice as good trusting company. he belongs to someone else. i know how she spells her name. oh, it's like that. so like that.