+ the freshly added adoption in english literature course looks a little daunting (given what i'm used to with my major and my isolating tendencies), but we read a ton of books. jeanette winterson (just as i need those words most, hey), barbara kingsolver, jackie kay, isabel allende, edward albee, william shakespeare, george eliot, chang-rae lee, edward hirsch, betty jean lifton, jane anderson, margaret moorman, and even stuff from the anne of green gables series (which i never read as a kid, i should mention).
- school books were only $89 before this course change, which i thought was novel and refreshing. that all changed though, today. now it's back to the typical aaargh-inducing $200+ bill. i always feel the weight of it on my parents--and ouch. an urge to quit school and get a job and free my parents of me always arises at these times. no really. at these times. silly timing, i know (it should be more like. always).
+ dropping the one course and replacing it with this one was much, much easier than i anticipated
+ my ipod enables me to keep songs trapped in my mind with greater ease as i walk around like a loon. ha.
+ richard buckner's the hill is coming to me in the mail, along with, finally, a good korean-english dictionary (all the way from korea, no less. eeep).
- i can't stop the ingrained looped wounding, the pounding in me concerning my family and home. that regardless of what choices i make or avoidances i try out, a time approaches, and it's the one about my parents' departure. and how much, how i cannot stand that. can't. can't do with it. you don't realize or know (or even recognize, usually) how much this truly terrifies and cuts me. i can't live like that. and it's coming and i can't and this has been the root of so many problems and violent bangs in my life already. and oh.
...
+ he's here, somewhere. sort of.
+ kindnesses from strangers. and those not so.
- school books were only $89 before this course change, which i thought was novel and refreshing. that all changed though, today. now it's back to the typical aaargh-inducing $200+ bill. i always feel the weight of it on my parents--and ouch. an urge to quit school and get a job and free my parents of me always arises at these times. no really. at these times. silly timing, i know (it should be more like. always).
+ dropping the one course and replacing it with this one was much, much easier than i anticipated
+ my ipod enables me to keep songs trapped in my mind with greater ease as i walk around like a loon. ha.
+ richard buckner's the hill is coming to me in the mail, along with, finally, a good korean-english dictionary (all the way from korea, no less. eeep).
- i can't stop the ingrained looped wounding, the pounding in me concerning my family and home. that regardless of what choices i make or avoidances i try out, a time approaches, and it's the one about my parents' departure. and how much, how i cannot stand that. can't. can't do with it. you don't realize or know (or even recognize, usually) how much this truly terrifies and cuts me. i can't live like that. and it's coming and i can't and this has been the root of so many problems and violent bangs in my life already. and oh.
...
+ he's here, somewhere. sort of.
+ kindnesses from strangers. and those not so.