.lots of sleep
.no more drugs, some day. some.day...
.stay alone, but keep him close ("you are the exceptional one.")
.burn a cd that includes "100000 fireflies" and some joe jackson for michelle
.well, burn many cds. and definitely some for spite, 'cause ee, you owe her
.realize again no one owes anyone anything. keep reminding yourself, inside
.relearn how to talk to strangers and yourself
.chat sometime with treeshaman, because. you've been meaning to for a long time
.pack for school. crates and books.
.fix your eyes, well no, but make them a little better
.get a tom house album
.pretend it doesn't hurt so much (things don't really matter, things don't really matter)
.buy a laundry hamper
.buy a book of crosswords, to become eccentric to
.write up the "revolting crone" thing
.try to visit poems, meekly and beneath tables, against legs, try to offer them crumbs, ask if they will have you, again. don't lose hope when they respond with "no."
.buy something with worthwhile pockets
.cancel one subscription, and do not replace it with another
.tear down the site, if only for a while
.try to let it not hurt that you're quietly losing it
.be repetitive, as always. drone even.
.buy the first apples of the fall season. don't cook with them, yet; just eat them.
.throw half your room away
.build something with wood and nails. remember the last temptation of christ. go sailing, without airs.
.chop your hair as it grows. don't forget!
.make michelle some kind of lamb. cloth? clay? dunno yet.