i seek you, too. (two)
I spent the day wondering what you saw, or would see, out the window.
And I wonder if you're there, hiding.
It's 9:09p
I went to terraserver and looked at air survey photos of Rochester, wondering if I could pick out your face looking at the camera, waving, smiling. (sigh) I couldn't.
But I did see an interesting stream that I guess passes for a river in the center of your hometown. For a slight stretch, it has rapids.
(listening to some Hayden that you sent me)
I guess I should have sat on AIM instead of thinking you'd sit there waiting for me. :) I miss you.
I love you.
Sometimes when I'm just waking up, I think that I feel your hand under mine, but it always turns out to be my other hand. :)
i love this boy more than i'll ever learn how to express. sometimes i feel like something has to sneak up behind me and make me pay for being smitten, and glad, and glowing from something as toothyandclawed as "love." it's the idiom left in my pocket, though; i can't help it--i've made out like a bandit. and just sometimes, ... i can't help from questioning when (sooner or later) he's going to wake up on a sunny day with his curtains in need of pulling and realize he's been shortchanged in this.
i need to be close. please, there it is. such stupid words, they don't mean what i mean exactly, or say or...such unsimple words. still not pared down enough to illustrate the way it is, or feels, the EXPANSION. it's too big for complicated word houses. it needs something so clean and simple i'm not able to show it clearly. it is perfect.
love itself isn't perfect. s'not what i meant. i'm in a shallow creek, with stony precipices overshadowing half the terrain used to get there, to FIND it. just in it. not any action words. not do-ing. just inside it, unwilling to recover right now.
so i'm in a moment. leave her be, mary beth. just let her.
(so i do)
(i sat folded up then sprawled all flimsy legs and stomach sweatered with headphones and hair ribbon ...his face in the window. so sad, and atmospheric, and heady, and sleepy, and shallow, and glad, and sorrowful, and yawning, and eyelidsfluttering, and unhungry, and... maybe even happy.
?
i feel like reciting richard brautigan tunes; words such as "gals" included.
And I wonder if you're there, hiding.
It's 9:09p
I went to terraserver and looked at air survey photos of Rochester, wondering if I could pick out your face looking at the camera, waving, smiling. (sigh) I couldn't.
But I did see an interesting stream that I guess passes for a river in the center of your hometown. For a slight stretch, it has rapids.
(listening to some Hayden that you sent me)
I guess I should have sat on AIM instead of thinking you'd sit there waiting for me. :) I miss you.
I love you.
Sometimes when I'm just waking up, I think that I feel your hand under mine, but it always turns out to be my other hand. :)
i love this boy more than i'll ever learn how to express. sometimes i feel like something has to sneak up behind me and make me pay for being smitten, and glad, and glowing from something as toothyandclawed as "love." it's the idiom left in my pocket, though; i can't help it--i've made out like a bandit. and just sometimes, ... i can't help from questioning when (sooner or later) he's going to wake up on a sunny day with his curtains in need of pulling and realize he's been shortchanged in this.
i need to be close. please, there it is. such stupid words, they don't mean what i mean exactly, or say or...such unsimple words. still not pared down enough to illustrate the way it is, or feels, the EXPANSION. it's too big for complicated word houses. it needs something so clean and simple i'm not able to show it clearly. it is perfect.
love itself isn't perfect. s'not what i meant. i'm in a shallow creek, with stony precipices overshadowing half the terrain used to get there, to FIND it. just in it. not any action words. not do-ing. just inside it, unwilling to recover right now.
so i'm in a moment. leave her be, mary beth. just let her.
(so i do)
(i sat folded up then sprawled all flimsy legs and stomach sweatered with headphones and hair ribbon ...his face in the window. so sad, and atmospheric, and heady, and sleepy, and shallow, and glad, and sorrowful, and yawning, and eyelidsfluttering, and unhungry, and... maybe even happy.
?
i feel like reciting richard brautigan tunes; words such as "gals" included.