remembering. mr k was handsome, y'see. by usual standards, i guess. for littlekidlost and naivelydrawingupherownbohemia maybe. he was rail thin skinny and wore lots of grey wool sweaters without sleeves. he had gigantic blue eyes and wavy dark hair and a large forehead. his face looked curious andor strained. his arms were so so skinny. all the bones that jut out. very tall man. heavy black shoes. wonderfully geeky glasses and elbow-patched tweed suit coats on occasion. corduroy. thrift store colors like burnt brownish orange and greengreengreen. and kind. white cotton tshirts underneath all the academia, with only the shortsleeves peeking out. thin clear sweat on his brow. etched severe eyebrows. not sure. he's unsure, kind of like the rest of us. not quite COMFORTABLE in the grace of his own space and the world in which it is suspended, held. transient boy, he was. he was a young man.

telling us about a time in college when he went for months without seeing his reflection. to "see" what happens. he grew a beard and was kind of scruffy 'round the edges (putting it mildly? :). but still sanitary and everything. and how was it? "i loved it. it was great. i'd go out in public and i'd feel okay. it took a while but i really did eventually grow to enjoy it." he cut that short when he needed to find a "job."

i don't know why i say these things, why i tell you these things. but inside me, they feel true. and so.