it doesn't have to be all starlight
she brought up a good point powerfully, gently. she hurt me but. she's smart. maybe that's why she can hurt me. i don't know.
the point that
he sees a girl and is drawn to her -- something hard to define. she has some sort of free, devastatingly untethered beauty. and he gets drawn in, and drawn. in. and he can't help himself; he wants it for his own. to keep. so he takes her in, he takes her up to him and does not let her go. she's just swooped in. scooped up. and then over time the thing he loved in her, what drew him in the first place -- that wild sort of innocent happiness, the curiosity, the freedom in her -- that suffers from her being latched to him. she gets thin, so to speak. and when all of it is gone sucked dry, he drops her.
and then she has to rebuild herself, start over. her whole life. a resurrection, all the time. she has to constantly grow from the hassle and the disturbances of outsiders who WANT things from her. want to keep her. foolish. foolish man.
so how she can not be drawn in...hm.
(wondering, turning thoughts over and over)
"she's only beautiful when she's her self"
/
but i still don't want to be mentioned or written of. apparently i am "not real" but just a "movie character." i'm not sticking around for this, oh. don't come any closer, it'll sting.
i don't want to be in your movie
and besides, you'll always find plenty of others to play parts to intrigue you
i am tired of this
tired
yes, i am
(and i'm not some mystery
i'm just me
questions like "does she eat"...it's weird, come to think of it, i never was good at eating beside you
and you offered all sorts of things! the cake joke, the dumpling type dish, the potato pancakes, the chocolates, the croutons, allsomuch FRUIT. why didn't i feel comfortable with all of this abundance? sometimes i'm truly puzzled by myself.)
i miss you still.
and you hurt me, you hurt me.
i'm glad to read i did not hurt you, though, afterallofthis, that you are not sad or disappointed.
i still love you. i just cannot handle it.
the point that
he sees a girl and is drawn to her -- something hard to define. she has some sort of free, devastatingly untethered beauty. and he gets drawn in, and drawn. in. and he can't help himself; he wants it for his own. to keep. so he takes her in, he takes her up to him and does not let her go. she's just swooped in. scooped up. and then over time the thing he loved in her, what drew him in the first place -- that wild sort of innocent happiness, the curiosity, the freedom in her -- that suffers from her being latched to him. she gets thin, so to speak. and when all of it is gone sucked dry, he drops her.
and then she has to rebuild herself, start over. her whole life. a resurrection, all the time. she has to constantly grow from the hassle and the disturbances of outsiders who WANT things from her. want to keep her. foolish. foolish man.
so how she can not be drawn in...hm.
(wondering, turning thoughts over and over)
"she's only beautiful when she's her self"
/
but i still don't want to be mentioned or written of. apparently i am "not real" but just a "movie character." i'm not sticking around for this, oh. don't come any closer, it'll sting.
i don't want to be in your movie
and besides, you'll always find plenty of others to play parts to intrigue you
i am tired of this
tired
yes, i am
(and i'm not some mystery
i'm just me
questions like "does she eat"...it's weird, come to think of it, i never was good at eating beside you
and you offered all sorts of things! the cake joke, the dumpling type dish, the potato pancakes, the chocolates, the croutons, allsomuch FRUIT. why didn't i feel comfortable with all of this abundance? sometimes i'm truly puzzled by myself.)
i miss you still.
and you hurt me, you hurt me.
i'm glad to read i did not hurt you, though, afterallofthis, that you are not sad or disappointed.
i still love you. i just cannot handle it.