you know, it never occurred to me the other day to feel proud finally some fit-looking young man at the gym was lifting exactly what i was, no more...huh.

and i'm almost positive my psychological block is because of the visual impression of the standard olympic 45lb plates. i was so pumped to finally reach that point, but there was an unintended consequence, being freaked out by having to face them every.single.workout now. i'm pretty sure that's where the growing overwhelming recurring dread comes from, knowing it will never get easier, never get smaller from here on out. hm.