http://ask.metafilter.com/181688/Tell-me-what-you-wish-men-understood-about-being-a-woman
I've had some upsetting experiences, some scary experiences, but for some reason the most infuriating experiences, the ones that have had the greatest long-term impact on me, are the ones like phunnieme, embrangled, and dizziest describe.
For example, when I went shopping for a laptop with my boyfriend (now ex) in tow, the salesman treated me as though I were entirely invisible. Once he heard the word "laptop" from me, he turned to my boyfriend and started trying to schmooze a sale out of him. Their body language said it all. Once the conversation began, they turned toward each other and away from me, and then fully turned their backs to me so that I was shut out of the discussion. The fact that I would be the one to decide on and pay for the purchase seemed to be such a foreign concept to the salesman that he continued to ignore me even after I interjected in a rather pointed tone, "Actually, *I* am just looking, *I* won't be ready to make a purchase today." No acknowledgment beyond an irritated glance in my direction.
What made it worse was that my boyfriend didn't notice how I'd been blatantly disrespected, and in fact, my boyfriend had ignored me just as the salesman had. To top it off, he thought I was the one being rude because I took a tone with the salesman and stormed off without a word of thanks (for what?!). I had to spell it out to him, lead him through the preceding events piece by piece, before he finally understood. He was just so accustomed to a culture where the women hush up to let the menfolk speak that he noticed nothing amiss about our interaction with the salesman... whereas I was so infuriated precisely because it's such a common occurrence.
that body language turning-away-and-excluding-cluelessly thing makes my blood BOIL. every time. along with, YES, the ensuing cluelessness when your foul mood about it gets called on. UGH.
I've had some upsetting experiences, some scary experiences, but for some reason the most infuriating experiences, the ones that have had the greatest long-term impact on me, are the ones like phunnieme, embrangled, and dizziest describe.
For example, when I went shopping for a laptop with my boyfriend (now ex) in tow, the salesman treated me as though I were entirely invisible. Once he heard the word "laptop" from me, he turned to my boyfriend and started trying to schmooze a sale out of him. Their body language said it all. Once the conversation began, they turned toward each other and away from me, and then fully turned their backs to me so that I was shut out of the discussion. The fact that I would be the one to decide on and pay for the purchase seemed to be such a foreign concept to the salesman that he continued to ignore me even after I interjected in a rather pointed tone, "Actually, *I* am just looking, *I* won't be ready to make a purchase today." No acknowledgment beyond an irritated glance in my direction.
What made it worse was that my boyfriend didn't notice how I'd been blatantly disrespected, and in fact, my boyfriend had ignored me just as the salesman had. To top it off, he thought I was the one being rude because I took a tone with the salesman and stormed off without a word of thanks (for what?!). I had to spell it out to him, lead him through the preceding events piece by piece, before he finally understood. He was just so accustomed to a culture where the women hush up to let the menfolk speak that he noticed nothing amiss about our interaction with the salesman... whereas I was so infuriated precisely because it's such a common occurrence.
that body language turning-away-and-excluding-cluelessly thing makes my blood BOIL. every time. along with, YES, the ensuing cluelessness when your foul mood about it gets called on. UGH.