What are good resources on how to walk?

Walking For Dummies.

Since you forgot to beg me to "Please help!" , I am inclined not to advisealate you with my 20th century wisdom.

Okay. The best resource is to look up from your basement window at people wandering by each day.

You may notice people have different walks. It would be helpful if your were to contact The Ministry of Silly Walks. They even have helpful videos. See here...


Corrective footwear will likely only exasperate your problems, so, perhaps meditation is in order.


Best regards and he sure to check back soon for more of my useless....

...er, um, I mean helpful replies.

I don't want to go to Mordor. I want to go to the corner shop. SERIOUS REPLIES ONLY PLEASE!

The answer can be found it you swim across the Anduin River by Wilderland. (remember to carry with you an autographed poster of GeneWilder)

I'm alright swimming, and running. I just get someone to hoist me up while I get my legs moving so I can hit the ground running.

The problems start when I try to slow down.

Oh, before you slow down you should drop a box of ball bearings. it will force your legs to do things you've never imagined, even while wondering if Marvel or DC is most responsible for the Serbian holiday of St.Crispin.


Before I forget....happy Padre Pio Feast Day. The day of remembrance for a great recently added saint.

Have you read Walking Tall With A Big Stick by Dewey Hertum?

I heard it was a side splitter.

Is he patron saint of ball bearings?

Not that I know of.

He is however the patron saint of stress relief, so maybe that'll help. Mention it at your next therapy session...

..or to your exalted ink merchant.

I'm afraid that Book's just another casualty of Brexit.

Well if you don't mind me saying, I think you're being very cavalier about the whole thing. Introducing ball bearings at this stage without knowing the relevant patron saint* is reckless in the extreme.

It's just as well Neil Armstrong didn't take that approach.

*Is there a word that delineates patron saintage? I really want there to be one, the above sentence would be greatly improved if I could include it.

Neil Armstrong once said (and I quote), "Ask not why the moon is here, Ask what caused it to be deserted. "

Since Saint Eligius is the saint of goldsmiths and coin collectors, maybe the prayers should be directed to him, seeing as how ball bearings are made of metal. (Incidentally, he is also saint of veterinarians).

Doubt that he can help you learn to walk though.

Maybe you can learn by skiing!

According to the books I've already made a right hash of running. You'll be shocked to hear that not one of them recommends starting off by hoisting yourself up on a rope.

In fact the only book that even mentions it is How to run like Scooby Doo and other assorted Hannah Barbera characters by Margaret Thatcher.

Watch out for the bad habits.

My daughter used to run without swinging her arms - I wrote about this like 10 years ago.

I can't believe I found it - not sure if it helps with the walking thing

https://able2know.org/topic/100902-1

But if I were to choose a book - I'd do the Texas Walker one - at the very least you would have one mean walking movement.

Just read how tough he is

For example:
The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.

http://www.icndb.com/the-jokes-2/