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  • Discovering Your Communication Type: The 5 Paths to Deeper Connections and Stronger Relationships
  • Discover your communication type with author Jason VanRulerZondervan
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Discovering Your Communication Type: The 5 Paths to Deeper Connections and Stronger Relationships

4.9 out of 5 stars (25)

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Understand how you naturally communicate so that you can develop healthy, authentic relationships. . . one conversation at a time.

Most communication breakdowns happen not because people fail at communicating, but because they react from deeply formed patterns that they don't understand or don't have language for. If you keep having the same conversations with the same results, if you feel misunderstood or unheard, if conflict keeps showing up despite good intentions, the path forward isn't to have more empathy or better boundaries.

It starts with understanding yourself.

In this practical guide, therapist and communication expert Jason VanRuler will help you:

  • Understand how you uniquely communicate with a clear assessment of each of the types and what they mean.
  • See the patterns you default to when you’re under pressure so that you can recognize how miscommunications happen.
  • Respond with intention and clarity so that you can begin to develop trust at home and work.


Discovering Your Communication Type
provides you with the knowledge you need to understand what's happening in real time so that you can communicate with less defensiveness and confusion and more honesty, connection, and peace.

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a note from the author jason van ruler -- discovering your communication type

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Jason VanRuler, MA, CSAT, is a psychotherapist, author, and nationally recognized speaker specializing in communication, attachment, and relationships. He’s the author of Get Past Your Past (Zondervan, 2023) and founder of a thriving private practice. Known for blending insight, story, and strategy, Jason leads workshops, retreats, and intensives that explore the patterns shaping how we connect, lead, and thrive. His work creates space for clarity, growth, and lasting change. He lives with his wife and three children and enjoys travel, cycling, and fly fishing.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Zondervan
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ April 14, 2026
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 240 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0310370426
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0310370420
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 7.1 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.4 x 0.56 x 8.3 inches
  • Best Sellers Rank: #36,905 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.9 out of 5 stars (25)

About the author

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Jason VanRuler
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Jason VanRuler is a therapist, coach, speaker, and author dedicated to impacting those who make an impact. His first book, Get Past Your Past, is all about establishing a mindset of emotional health and resilience to find lasting wholeness. Jason began his therapy career in 2011, and has worked with many populations over the years, ranging from incarcerated individuals to top CEOs, performers, and artists, and just about anyone in between. Whether it’s through leadership coaching, relationship building, couples therapy, or working past addiction or trauma, Jason’s goal is always the same: to speak truth and grace into the life of every person he works with. That goal extends to his online audience as well, where he shares counseling resources and practical tips with his large and engaged following. When he’s not doing any of the above, you can find Jason cycling, fly fishing, or spending time with his wife and three kids at their home in South Dakota.

Customer reviews

4.9 out of 5 stars
25 global ratings

Customers say

Customers find the book filled with practical communication tools and consider it essential for effective communication. The content receives positive feedback, with one customer noting how it blends psychology with faith. They appreciate its relatability, with one mentioning how it helps them feel more equipped to deepen their relationships.
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9 customers mention practical, 9 positive, 0 negative
Customers find the book helpful and filled with practical advice, with one customer specifically noting how it provides tools for improving communication.
Great book on communication. Easy to understand and apply the principles!Read more
...This book is thoughtful, practical, and genuinely helpful. It’s made me more intentional in how I lead and connect with people.Read more
...Jason provides excellent practical tools to help us step out of our comfort zone and develop closer relationships.Read more
...as patterned, but this shows that it is, and that insight alone is very helpful What I appreciate most is that it doesn’t stop at identifying your...Read more
7 customers mention communication, 6 positive, 1 negative
Customers appreciate the book's approach to communication, with one describing it as the "cheat code to communication."
Great book on communication. Easy to understand and apply the principles!Read more
...This one strikes a good balance. It helps you understand communication types and shows that each has its own strengths and challenges....Read more
This is the cheat code to communication! I was blown away by the depth and amount of information the author provides....Read more
...It helped me understand not just how I communicate, but how others hear me and that’s been incredibly valuable....Read more
5 customers mention content, 5 positive, 0 negative
Customers find the content of the book great and consider it a must-read.
I thought this book was great. It is so hard to communicate with the people I love....Read more
...It is OUTSTANDING. It blends insight with practicality and blends psychology with faith....Read more
So helpful for any relationship, another great book by JVR!Read more
Blessed by this bookRead more
5 customers mention relatability, 5 positive, 0 negative
Customers find the book relatable, with one mentioning how it blends psychology with faith and another noting how it helps them feel more equipped for deeper connections.
...I definitely feel more equipped to go deeper in my relationships, enter into conflict with greater ease, and feel excited to develop new friendships....Read more
I came across this author on Instagram and really resonated with his insight on relationships and advice in different scenario's....Read more
...It is OUTSTANDING. It blends insight with practicality and blends psychology with faith....Read more
...practical tools to help us step out of our comfort zone and develop closer relationships.Read more
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ An Easy to Use (and Understand) Communications Book
5 out of 5 stars
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ An Easy to Use (and Understand) Communications Book
Most communication books hand you jargon and leave you stuck. This one doesn't. Jason's book Discovering Your Communication Type gives you a framework you'll actually use. The PATHS model (Peacemaker, Advocate, Thinker, Harbor, Spark) puts language to what you've probably felt for years but couldn't name. Why do some conversations drain you? Why do others feel easy? This book answers that. Who this is for: anyone who wants a stronger marriage, closer friendships, better parenting, or more honest conversations at work. So, all of us.
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Top reviews from the United States

  • 5 out of 5 stars
    Great Book to help in Relationship Development
    Reviewed in the United States on May 6, 2026
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    I came across this author on Instagram and really resonated with his insight on relationships and advice in different scenario's. I don’t spend a lot of time on social media anymore so missed his first publication and was excited to discover his next book, Discovering Your Communication Type. While the information is an easy read it is also super informative in providing a framework on how to approach conflict and other interesting takes on communication types. I also appreciate the touch of spirituality included especially the last paragraph.

    5 people found this helpful
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  • 5 out of 5 stars
    This is a MUST read if you want to have better, clearer relationship!
    Reviewed in the United States on April 14, 2026
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    This book put words to things I’ve experienced for years as a leader but didn’t have language for. It helped me understand not just how I communicate, but how others hear me and that’s been incredibly valuable.

    This book is thoughtful, practical, and genuinely helpful. It’s made me more intentional in how I lead and connect with people.

    6 people found this helpful
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  • 5 out of 5 stars
    This book provides practical tools to improve communication and connection with others.
    Reviewed in the United States on April 21, 2026
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    Communicating effectively is essential to achieving a desirable outcome within all types of relationships. Jason's book Discovering Your Communication Type gives insight into the fact that we do not all communicate in the same manner. Understanding different communication types creates respect for others’ knowledge and improves overall connection. This book also highlights that each of us have biases and tend to default to what feels normal. Jason provides excellent practical tools to help us step out of our comfort zone and develop closer relationships.

    3 people found this helpful
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  • 5 out of 5 stars
    Learning my and my loved ones patterns.
    Reviewed in the United States on May 30, 2026
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    I thought this book was great. It is so hard to communicate with the people I love. I have been setting boundaries with close friends/family and I feel the burn, boundary backlash I call it. I wish I would have learned these lessons earlier in life. No is a complete sentence and I shouldn’t have to say it more than once, is something I have learned from Jason. He has helped me greatly with my childhood trauma. Love the book, Jason!

    4 people found this helpful
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  • 5 out of 5 stars
    Incredible read filled with practicality!
    Reviewed in the United States on April 20, 2026
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    I have many books in my therapy office and THIS books now sits right next to me. It is OUTSTANDING. It blends insight with practicality and blends psychology with faith. It is an easy read because of the flow, the humor, the relatability and the application. Thank you for cheering us on within our own communication type.

    4 people found this helpful
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  • 5 out of 5 stars
    Relatable, easy to read and very helpful
    Reviewed in the United States on April 16, 2026
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    So helpful for any relationship, another great book by JVR!

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  • 5 out of 5 stars
    Blessed by this book
    Reviewed in the United States on May 16, 2026
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    This is the cheat code to communication! I was blown away by the depth and amount of information the author provides. My only wish is that I would have read it years ago! I definitely feel more equipped to go deeper in my relationships, enter into conflict with greater ease, and feel excited to develop new friendships. I really can’t say enough great things about this book.

    2 people found this helpful
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  • 5 out of 5 stars
    Real world advise
    Reviewed in the United States on June 19, 2026
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    Very practical real world advise that I can apply today.

    2 people found this helpful
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