I’ve been through too much in recent years. I lost my grandfather three years ago, my aunt two years ago, and in January I lost my cat Kiba, who I’d lived with for fifteen years, and a very dear friend of mine who had his whole life ahead of him and with whom I’d made so many plans.
I didn’t think I could feel as empty as I do right now. Many things that used to come easily to me now seem so difficult; every time, my thoughts turn to all the people I’ve lost and loved, and I feel as if my chest is emptying and tightening every time something reminds me of them.
I’ve talked to someone, but it didn’t help much. I used to think that broken-heart syndrome didn’t exist, but I think that’s exactly what I’ve been feeling for far too long now. My heart beats fast, even though my heart rate is normal; my breathing is ragged, but my lungs are fine; every emotional pain spills over into my body, and I don’t think I have any more tears left to cry
I needed to write this down somewhere and let it all out; I hope this might help me in some way