Suffering from pain is one of the worst human conditions. So many of our industries revolve around it, so many people are hospitalized because of it, so many people can’t recover from it or use means to heal that put them in situations that they can’t unwind themselves from. There are nefarious organizations that thrive because of pain, both supposedly above board and way below. Young people are lured into dark alleyways because of emotional pain, and others follow pathways because of physical pain, sometimes never finding their way back to daylight. The body signals pain in so many ways, in so many parts, it can be hard to distinguish at times and it can spiral us into the depths of depression. I know, because there have been times that I have been in incredible pain due to traumatic injuries so bad, that I thought I no longer wanted to be alive.

Recently, I have been one of those suffering. Since October I have been having pain in various parts of my body. I’ve been going to medical providers trying to figure out what is going on with no luck. Having been one myself, it’s very hard when you feel no-one is listening. I wasn’t the greatest paramedic, but I always listened and I was kind. Sometimes that was enough to make someone feel better. Since moving to NH, I’ve been getting worse and worse, to the point where I can hardly move, especially in the morning after sleeping. It’s been excruciating and debilitating. I’ve seen orthopedic people here, again with no luck. I was signed up with a new primary care doctor, but our appointment wasn’t until June. She was the one to suggest the emergency Ortho until I could be seen. But even that took weeks. That Dr was dismissive too. I said it felt bilateral and like a flare up of inflammation of my body. He poo pooed it. I became desperate.

Everyone advised not to listen to Dr. Google. I actually used Deepseek which is another less prejudiced search engine, more like Chatgbt. What choice does a person have when no-one is listening and you are ready to throw in the towel? I was a thriving senior last summer, walking and doing tons of exercises, becoming one who can’t even put on my clothes. It is scary and so depressing. This search engine gave me a few ideas, but the one that fit perfectly to my symptoms was something called: Polymyalgia Rheumatica. I couldn’t believe it! I had just about every symptom. It can become very dangerous.

I wrote the Ortho, but decided to write my primary too, and she got back to me right away and said to come in the next day! I was SO grateful. The ortho wanted an appointment down the road, but I said forget it, because I didn’t trust him anyway. Needless to say, she agreed after taking a history, (a doctor agreeing?? wow), but to be sure they ran blood work. And sure enough found that my body is showing severe signs of inflammation. The funny thing is that it is diagnosed and treated with Prednisone! So easy! This all could have been avoided if someone would have just trusted me and listened! I wouldn’t have had to suffer. It’s a 10 month course, which I am not crazy about, but with lowering doses after the initial one. Sometimes patients can go off it sooner. Maybe I will be lucky!

The moral of the story is: Patient heal thyself. Don’t let anyone talk you out of anything. If you don’t like the answer to something, keep pressing. Get someone in with you who is more aggressive if you if don’t have the energy or strength. Insurance runs everything now, so Doctors are under time constraints and push things along. Women, I feel, are less likely to get as good care. People of color get the worse care. Find another provider if you don’t like what you hear. Obviously if 3 people say the same thing, then it might be true, but you can still manage your own recovery. YOU are the consumer! Don’t let them think otherwise!

Wish me luck. I am only nearly 70 and I have lots of life to live. There are women (and men) running marathons who are close to 90. I will not give up!